So I don’t think I mentioned it, but last week one of my cats had a kitten. A tiny little ginger tomcat that Amy adores.
Eventually I will tell the story of how that kitten came to be living in my bathroom cabinet with it’s mother (funny story, no really) but not tonight.
Tonight, I am much to exhausted to talk about kittens.
Instead, I want to talk about death.
And destruction.
Namely, the death I intend to inflict on the father of said kitten.
We have 2 cats. They aren’t desexed because we didn’t have the money to get them done. Shuddup about the stupidity of not getting them spayed, because honestly? I’ve heard it all before, mostly from my subconscious at 2am.
So, 2 cats. One of which has had a kitten. So, that leaves ONE cat, not pregnant or lactating.
Unfortunately, that second cat? She wants babies. She wants them bad. She wants them SO bad that she sits underneath my bedroom window all night yowling for her boyfriend.
Who is only to happy to oblige her, seeing as how male cats and teenage boys are incredibly similar and spend a whole bunch of time thinking with their penis’s.
[Side note, should that be penis’s or penii?]
Unfortunately, in the obliging, he doesn’t seem to feel the need to be quiet.
This means that at 2am, I end up with cats screeching underneath my bedroom window while they get their freak on. Even the torrential rain last night didn’t put them off, they simply burrowed under the house and screeched and screamed UNDERNEATH MY PILLOW. Underneath the floor.
Which in turn, sets Seven off.
Seven isn’t a large dog, but man oh man, can she bark.
Nathan and Amy manage to normally sleep through all the cat sex and barking. Me however? I wake up if a fly buzzes near me.
The only way to shut ANY of the animals up is to let Seven out to chase the intruder cat away (no seriously, she is like a big brother. A big brother who might just kill the suitor if she catches him).
So for the last three or four nights, I have been kept awake by all the animals in my house.
I swear, if I get my hands on this ginger tom cat, I am going to squeeze his neck until his eyes pop. He’s lucky I don’t shoot.
Damn lucky.
Please, for the love of god, just ONE night where I sleep through? Please? Without animals waking me up shagging, or barking, or meowing? Please?
that sucks so bad..
could you look the female cat up somewhere? so she doesnt disturb anyone?
and also where the other cat cant get to her..
Tazs last blog post..56 Weeks Old
lock*
Tazs last blog post..56 Weeks Old
*nods*
lock the damn cat up.
Muzzle the damn dog
strangle the damn tom cat
eat chocolate
Bettinas last blog post..Frustrating
Give it a toy mouse to play with…ohhh the shiny!
Jaynes last blog post..Trivial History November 20
Especially awful considering sometime quite soon sleep will be a rare commmodity in your home.
Jennis last blog post..37 Weeks, 4 Days
I can’t believe that Amy sleeps through it.
witchypoos last blog post..Recycled Toilet Story
I’m with Bettina on this one, especially on the chocolate one. Will we see a pic of the kitten soon?
Jenn FLs last blog post..Spicy
Got a garden shed? Stick them all in there together (except the tom cat), and hope for a peaceful evening!!!
M & Bs last blog post..Superior Scribbler. Me???
I don’t suppose it would be possible for the mama cat to share the kitten with the hormone-laden, come-and-get-me-big-boy other cat?
Or, do they make battery operated devices for cats?
lceels last blog post..An Irish Tale
That sucks.
Megans last blog post..I wish I had more Time
That’s…a really weird problem! Um, how’s about one of those chastity belts from Men in Tights? Kitty sized, of course
Cats last blog post..Big Motherfucking Fish
It shouldn’t be Penis’s anyway.
Unless you mean something belonging to the Penis, but then it would just be Penis’. “The penis’ owner fainted”
and plural, I’m going for ‘Penises’ now.
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Does this make me look fat?
it’s penises.
Memarie Lanes last blog post..The Frugal Mindset II
Perhaps there are some shelters or rescue things around that will offer low cost neutering? They ones here do, because they really don’t want more kittens being born and are willing to help. There are some doctors around here doing them for as little as $10. I know, I know, sometimes $10 is $10 too much, but hey. Just a thought.
Candys last blog post..In Which I Considering Changing My Name To Neo
I suddenly feel very lucky my dogs sleep through the night or if they don’t, they don’t feel the need to be noisy about it.
We live on the corner, so we have about a block of road visible from the back yard and family room. The dogs seem to think they need to bark at every person, dog, fox, and vehicle that comes down that road. Oops, not the fox. They totally did not see the fox. Lucky for me, we live on a dead end, so there is no traffic late at night. Because I am quite certain the dogs would feel the need to let me know someone drove by, especially in the summer when it never gets dark.
julies last blog post..Wednesday, and Monday…
Oh mah holy hell. I remember what it was like when I had a female cat go into heat… You poor thing.
Rees last blog post..Going Out to Dinner…
I feel the same way about my dogs. Although it’s not the screeching melodies of sweet, sweet lovin’, it’s their damn collars that jingle every time they move or scratch or BREATHE. If I’m in my right mind before I go to bed, I take the collars off, but 9 times out of 10, I forget and then I’m awakened by bells at 2:00 am.
Damn pets.
Andis last blog post..Sick Day
Damn!!! XBox, stole my comment..it is penises…You could have just called them ‘dicks’ and then not worried about apostrophes and stuff…xxx
frogpondsrocks last blog post..Boganvillainy…
Nothing like the visual of cat sex first thing in the morning to put a girl off kilter for the day!
tiffs last blog post..Orientation for preschool.
LOL – I agree with Bettina.I needed a good laugh.
Yes , we need pictures of kitty and in the cabinet too.
I never heard any cat sex *sigh*
off to find something chocolate.
Trishs last blog post..Kindness of strangers
Hmm. Well, as you know, I could probably come and inflict some damage on him with my flyswatter. Maybe just on his penii.
KatSTUFFs last blog post..I am at war with a fly.
OH NO… cat sex is horrible to listen to in the night. Kitteh needs a little lock-up at night, me thinks.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..How to waste hours of your day and come out looking like a tranny
Aw, heh-heh, that’s TERRIBLE! I’m laughing and feeling bad for you all at the same time…
I’d take up shooting if I were you…
Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..New definition of "suckitude"
The night screeching? That would be the female cat. First the yowling for the male, then the painful sex. Yep, animal sex is painful for some animals. Dogs for instance. Ever seen them still coupled long after “finishing”? that’s because the dog penis swells to unbelievable proportions during the act and the two cannot uncouple until it reduces back to normal size.
Oh, and that would be “penises”.
hehehehheeh. You said cat sex.
nikkis last blog post..SOS
Cat porn huh?
Suzies last blog post..Oh Where Has She Gone?
I’ve got no mating animals here but I am still waking up like 2 or three times a night for pee and nothing else… Freaking annoying!
Here is to sleeping well tonight!
Talinas last blog post..Black friday here we come!
I cannot wait to hear about them living in the bathroom cabinet.
debbies last blog post..Be afraid – be very afraid
Well Hon I have to say it, get those damn cats desexed then peace will reign supreme
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!
I bet the cat is having more sex than you are!
I blocked all the holes in the roof and went away for the night only to find this afternoon that the birds are in the roof and I have no idea how they got there. I, like you, are a light sleeper and birds nesting in the roof make one hell of a noise in the early morning.
I’m considering getting a gun licence. They are only those starling things anyway, introduced nuisence.
Also, I’ve tagged you for a meme on my blog. You’re not obligated to do it… I just wanted to send more traffic your way because you are so AWESOME! 😉
Andis last blog post..Tagged!
OMG! The horror. Too bad you couldn’t find that Tom CAT!
You should have invested in some ear plugs man. Than maybe those cats wouldn’t have keep you up all night.
-Wes
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 1 trackback }