I said I wouldn’t do it, but here I am, jumping in boots and all to give you my opinion on the whole t-shirt debacle.
The T-shirt Debate.
An Aussie clothing chain has released a set of t-shirts emblazoned with various slogans.
I pinched this picture from Megan at imaginif. Thanks.
Parents are up in arms, calling for the tops to be recalled, that they are unacceptable, and that they shouldn’t be worn.
Apparently they turn girls into slutty seeming, sex wanting bitches. Boys become drunk, asshole (really that should say arsehole. We are in Australia here), pimps.
Parents are swearing that they will NOT buy these t-shirts, etc etc.
Fine. Don’t buy them. Finished.
However, the more that teenagers perceive that these tops are controversial and likely to cause anger, the more they are going to want wear them.
Would I buy them for my daughter? Probably not. Would I have bought them for myself when I was 14-15? Most certainly. Am I going to have a hissy fit if Amy walks in wearing something similar when she is 14? I doubt it.
The shop in question selling them is marketed towards teenagers who are able to buy their own clothes, not teens still dependent on their parents for money.
My mother was laid back and when it came to the small things, she was prepared to let them go. I wanted to dye my hair purple and green and blue? Okay, she would help me do it (it wouldn’t work by the way, my hair was too dark).
You know why? Because it was ONLY HAIR. It grows back. I could have shaved it and she wouldn’t have batted an eye. She also let me wear whatever I liked. She helped me pick them out even. When I was 16 she bought me these boots.
Because she let me be my own person, clothes and hair were never rebellious points for me. I never ‘acted out’ by cutting my hair and wearing ‘odd’ clothes.
Sure, I made some clothing choices that were in (very) poor taste, but once I realised that I stopped wearing them.
These tshirts are going to become more popular now that there is such a controversy surrounding them. More teens are going to want to wear them for the reaction they garner.
I remember what highschool was like.
The kids with the strictest parents were the most likely to lie and change clothes after they left the house.
The kids with rich parent had access to hard drugs and the liquor cabinets.
The kids with deadbeat parents smoked dope.
Generalisations I know, but that was what it was like. These kids BRAGGED about what they got up to.
‘My Mum doesn’t know I wear heavy makeup and tight tops because I change in the dunnies at school’
‘My pars never notice that I am getting smashed on their alcohol because they are too busy at work’
‘My parents don’t give a fuck what I do, so I get stoned with me mates’
In the scheme of things, a thirt is such a small thing. It doesn’t make the person and it doesn’t say anything about who they are.
You have to let teenagers make their own decisions when it comes to the small stuff.
You have to choose your battles.
Is wearing a stupid t-shirt for a while, until it becomes uncool, actually going to affect the person your teenager will become? I highly doubt it.
Are they going to act out more if you make it into a big deal? I would lay money on it.
Also? The Mr Pimp t-shirt that has all the (supposed) sexual connotation that are getting up peoples noses? A ‘pimp’ to a teenage boy is a boy popular with the ladies. It isn’t sexual at all.
Feel free to disagree (politely of course) with me in my comments section. I will explain my reasoning behind this whole breakdown of the teenage psyche. Remember I was in highschool a few short years ago. I haven’t forgotten what it was like.
personally I don’t like them, but the more of a fuss you make of them the more likely the kids are gonna want to buy them… what the women who are publicly opposed to these things are doing is just giving JayJays free advertising 🙁
Also, from the child abuse pov that a lot of people in this debate seem to be bringing up… if someone is that way inclined, it’s not going to be because of a flippin t-shirt, it’s something much deeper than what a person is wearing that causes that person to do those horrible things.
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It was a long time ago for me, but I haven’t forgotten anyway. Good point.
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I’m with you…it’s been a good long while since I was in high school and I haven’t forgotten what it was like either. Hubs and I have pretty much agreed that we’ll let the kids do what they will with their hair, make-up and clothes (as long as they cover what needs to be covered!) and are even pretty laid back about piercings…they do grow in, and I had my nose pierced when that was still shocking. We want to pick our battles….and in this arena, I’ll wait until I hear the word ‘tattoo’ to start locking them in their rooms…
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I’m not a fan of the shirts either, but I agree. The more of a stink we make, the more teens will rebel and want to wear them. It’s just how they work. I remember being a teen VERY well. I dated boys, because my parents hated them. I’d sneak out, because I had unreasonable curfews. And the day I turned 18, I went and got pierced….all things because everything I wanted to do was frowned upon and not supported, or heard out. I think it’s great your mom allowed you to have some independence in your choices and appearance. Teens just want to find their individuality. And sometimes they will, whether you let them or not.
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Well I’m childish and I think they are farkin’ hilarious.
I also owned a Tshirt in high school that labeled the parts of the brain “Party, Party, Party, Party, Sex and Party” and I wore it for finals every semester.
And graduated in the top 10 percent of my class, so I think it was okay.
I was shocked and appalled when I loved the movie Big Daddy b/c of the kid walking out wearing the colander on his head and the tutu – that’s totally me when it comes to kids dressing.
Although I read once that a mom/dot pair made an agreement that mom would let dot wear whatever when she was with her own friends as long as dot wore something acceptable to her mom when she was with her mom’s friends/peers. Right on.
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Couldn’t agree with you more. Isn’t it great when parents turn what could be an opportunity for an open discussion into a “it’s the world’s fault my kid is bad” issue? Let’s see, I could talk to Alexis and try to explain to her why the shirts might be inappropriate, or I could blame somebody else for whatever. Yeah, I think I’ll talk to my kid.
(I actually think all of the shirts are funny, but if my 14-year old walked in wearing one of them, I’d want to flip out on the spot.)
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One: I agree.
Two: I am lobbying to bring the red back. You’re hotter than blue. 🙂
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The only t-shirts I’ve gotten upset about so far are the ones that say, “Boys lie” or “Boys are made in the stupid factory”, or whatever. Because I have a boy and it breaks my heart that kids would need to walk around with logos that break down others. If you want to talk about *yourself* on your t-shirt, knock yourself out! 🙂
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Those shoes are quite something!! LOL!
I must agree with you. I can see the humour in the t-shirts, not that I’d buy one for myself.
But, by making such a big deal out of it, is making them more attractive, especially to teens!
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(It cracks me up just a little bit that there appears to be sidewalk chalk behind your boots…cool boots, by the way.)
People get all worked up about this stuff because they are scared, I think, and because they feel helpless and worried, and because they don’t want it to be their fault if their kid turns out to be a big pain in the arse…
People are always looking for a reason, for an excuse, for anything to pin the blame on. They don’t want to face up to the fact that bad things happen, and happen randomly, and that they are in fact sometimes responsible for their own screwups…
and I am hearing the word “tattoo” regularly from my 17 year old kid…in March, when he turns 18, he apparently will be getting a tattoo. Doesn’t really bother me, because I know he’s enough of a worrier to be really really careful about the whole thing…and he has been thinking about it for a couple years. He has decided this is what he wants.
Kids are so interesting when you let them express themselves and be themselves, and a lot less rebellious, too.
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Yay Good girl vonnie….xxx great post..
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My parents were so strict, I MOVED OUT.
I agree with you, teenagers like to be rebellious sometimes, and if your parnets dont fuss too much, you dont have to rebel.
I remember as a 12 year old when the tv show ‘South Park’ came out. Parents went ape. Children werent allowed to watch it. So what did we do? We watched it whenever we could. When they werent home, on the phone, at a friends house, even in the bedroom with headphones so parents couldnt hear it.
When those of us who werent allowed to go to parties went out, we dropped by the party for 1/2 hour just to spite the parents. If we were allowed to go we probably would have only went for a short time anyway.
Nathan and I give Jordon a few short rules
-No backchat to adults
-No shoes on carpet
-No food in bedroom
-Always ask an adult
and everything else is pretty much free range.
But I wouldn’t let him wear one of those t-shirts until he was about 15. Then he knows what they all mean.
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hmm..
kinda undecided on it..
i dont think i would be impressed..
I totally agree with your post. Parents spend too much time giving their kids grief about stuff like clothes, hair, etc. Like your Mom said, hair grows back. I hope that when my kids are older I have the sense to see the big picture and not sweat the small stuff. Maybe then my kids will think I’m cool enough to confide in me about the truly important things.
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My big problem with those tshirts are that younger children are wearing them…I’ve seen one on a girl who couldn’t have been more than 13 and if you ask me, that’s too young.
I used to nanny a girl for two years, she’d be in year eight this year and it makes me sick to think of her wearing a shirt that said “Miss Floozy” or “Miss Bitch” or “Miss Gold Digger” etc even in fun.
Maybe it’s just because I was really slow to grow up in some aspects and hung onto being a child (but far more mature than my peers in other aspects, often because I had to act as a “second mum” for my many younger siblings) but I hate seeing young people grow up so fast.
Also, I don’t like the values that these tshirts promote (even jokingly) but I know that most people will buy them as they are joke tshirts.
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Call me prude, but I would never allow my kids – or my husband, for that matter (not that I control him) – to wear these shirts. That’s what I say now, but maybe I’ll be different in 11 years. They are just…trashy! It would have been hilarious to me in college, though…
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I hadn’t seen these shirts, yet. I can tell you – Ms. Bitch? That’s totally me. I think I want it.
I remember high school. I bought a Budweiser t-shirt while on band trip and thought I was a real badass. But did I even drink Budweiser? No. It was the rebel thing. All kids go through it in some form or another. Better with the t-shirt than the beer.
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I agree that clothes don’t make the person. In high school one of the girls was always neat and clean, her uniform was a decent length, she had the “proper” hairstyle, etc. but everyday after school? The sluttiest drunk on the beach, not going home until well after dark, hung around with a crowd of boys old enough to buy beer, she was only 13. By 15 she was an alcoholic and expelled from school when found drinking scotch from her locker between classes. On the other side, the fashion followers all grew up to be regular citizens holding good jobs.
I was one of the laid back parents, my oldest daughter had multiple ear piercings to the point where her lobes looked like you could “tear along the dotted line”, had a different hair colour every month, now she is a wonderful wife and mother, helping to run the family business. my other three all have tattoos, (it’s their skin after all, who am I to object?) they’ve all done weird things with their hair, and they are all great people.
I have teens. And I was a teen not so long ago (I was your age when Moo was born)
This is just like the Bindeez thing. Every party was full of them cause they were controversial. No one wanted to try them, just wanted to say they had them. Same with the tshirts. Same with everything really.
And today one daughter is wearing a little miss sunshine tshirt and the other Tinkerbell. With their purple and black hair…. which once was blonde.
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I WILL admit, I had better not catch Taylor walking around in pants with words written on the butt. I REALLY don’t like them.
I’m not a big fan of shirts that say anything, honestly. But I agree that the battles need to be picked, and there are a lot worse things that my kid could be doing than wearing a shirt with some writing on it.
It always used to drive me nuts that my mom would scream and yell and punish me if my room wasn’t clean. And my response was always something along the lines of, “I’m not a drunk, I don’t do drugs, I’m not having sex with every guy on the block…if the worst I’ve done is had a messy room, thank your lucky stars!” Never worked though….
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the more people complain the more they will sell, i have seen a lot worse ones for teens, ones i could not mention, i will not mention…. they may sell more of them haha
Yeah, I’m not into my kid wearing those, but I agree with you. My parents were like yours. They chose the battles, and that wasn’t it. I actually had a square head on my shoulders because of it, btw. *wink*
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