The Toddler

The Toddler was in full force today.

I tried to have a shower while she was occupied with her toys. Didn’t work. Eventually, after a little head and hands poked into my shower (getting soaked in the process) for the tenth time, I stripped her off and put the plug in and she had a shower with me.

I left the water in to be used on the garden later.

Getting dressed was something that she SHALL. NOT. BE. SUBJECTED. TO! And I was a MEAN MEAN MUMMY for doing it.

I finally got her dressed (cue cheers) and (the second) breakfast served. While I wasn’t looking, she fed her (second) breakfast to the cat. I can only assume from the amount of grumpiness that reared it’s ugly head, that the first breakfast had gone to the cat as well.

Sigh.

As I was preparing to go out (hair makeup etc) Toddler came into the bathroom and threw the roll of toilet paper into the toilet before I could stop her. She emptied a cup of water all over the floor and finally, as a final encore of Toddlerhood, she fell in the bath.

Fully dressed.

After I had taken 20 mins to dress her.

Sigh.

We eventually got out the door and Toddler was fed vegemite and cheese sandwiches in the car because I had finally realised that she was still hungry. Maybe the cat looking satisfied and NOT yowling for food should have tipped me off?

***

Toddler enjoys shopping, as long as Toddler is not in any way, shape, or form constrained in a trolley, stroller, or arms. Hand-holding is also out of the question as it restricts Toddler’s movement.

I juggled finding 2 new pairs of pants for Toddler, a handbag and a hot drink (chai tea latte).

Toddler raced around the shop causing Toddler chaos in her wake. I spent the whole time putting the soft toys back onto their shelf and re-packaging all the shoes.

Also apologising. Did I mention the apologising?

At one point Toddler realised that there was music! over the sound system. She raced around the shop, with me and her Nan (my mum) in hot pursuit. As soon as she found a slightly empty space (a dance floor if you will) she proceeded to dance and sing and generally perform.

Drama queen.

***

Toddler is unhappy about any attempt to contain her in a trolley. UNLESS you sit her in the main bit along with all the food.

So, being a person to take the path of least resistance I let her sit in with the food.

After Toddler unwrapped my block of chocolate, I realised I may have made a (slightly, very small) bad decision.

If you are in the supermarket and you notice a block of unwrapped, slightly chewed, macadamia nut chocolate hidden amongst the pads, please pretend you didn’t see it. I am truly sorry.

After a while Toddler decided that causing chaos OUTSIDE of the trolley was the new fun thing to do.

Did you know that there are dogs on the cans of dog food? Toddler let me know.

There are cats on the cat food. Toddler let me know this also.

Even better? A Scottish Terrier is actually a cat and Toddler won’t have anyone tell her that it isn’t.

‘TAT!’

‘No Sweetheart, that is a dog’

Toddler points at a Border Collie.

‘Dis dooooooo ag’

‘Yep, that’s a dog’

Toddler points at a Terrier

‘TAT!!’

‘No, that’s a dog.’

‘NO! TAT!’ stomps foot
Sigh.

‘Come look at the cats then…’

EVERYTHING actually should be placed on the floor for ease of access for Toddler shelf climbing. Toddler saw to this today and was mightily unimpressed when I put everything back where it belonged.

She threw herself backwards when I held her.

She ran away when I didn’t.

For a final straw, as I was packing the groceries back into the trolley after paying for them, I trapped a (very energetic) Toddler between the wall, myself and the trolley.

Toddler is a mighty escape artist. So mighty in fact that she crawled underneath the trolley to escape. She would have managed it too had her pesky foot not gotten stuck and her MEAN MEAN MUMMY not removed her from there.

Cue tantrum.

I think I lost weight today.