After yesterday’s post I have been thinking about vibrators all too often.
Q. Do I have the money to buy a new one?
A. No. Damn.
Q. I wonder what the shipping to Oz is like.
A. Uh, terrible.
Q. Do those little spiky things hurt?
A. Hell, I don’t know! Someone tell me already or I will obsess about it.
Q. Where did I put those spare batteries.
A. In the food cupboard. Heh. Thanks hun.
What I didn’t think about was storage. I didn’t think about the fact that I DON’T have a bedside table. I didn’t think about the fact that I don’t have a door on our bedroom. I didn’t think about Amy.
Yes, you heard me right. I didn’t think about my toddler wandering into the bedroom and pulling all the pillows and doonas off of the bed.
[In my defence it was hidden under Nathan's pillow and he is generally fast asleep on top of it. Sorry hun]
So, I was on the phone to my mother, chatting about stuff, when a chirpy little toddler wanders out of the bedroom swinging my vibrator like a light sabre.
[Thank god she is too little to understand! She won't need therapy. I might however]
‘Eeeeek!’ I shouted to Mum. ‘Hold on!’
I rushed over and stole my vibrator back from her tiny little fingers. Quickly I tucked it into the bookshelf out of sight and distracted Amy.
All I could think was ‘SO GLAD I am a hygenic person and everything is washed after use’. Yes, I did wash her hands just in case.
Then I went and told Mum what had just happened, because I am weird like that.
We giggled. Lots.
And then I blogged about it. Amen.
PS. I really really need a bedside table. With a locking drawer. And to remember to move the hiding place.
Thank god she wasn’t rummaging through the study.
Well, I have got one of those Rabbit ones and it is Fabbo Shcmabbo. And what you need is a nice decorated box to go in your wardrobe for all your toys. And you need to type in Sex Shops Australia on Google. There are some good places with cheap shipping. Like Sugarvibe….they are awesome. And they have nice tasting headjob lube..but I digress. Anyway, the rabbit goes off, there is a mail order sex place in Prospect, and didn’t those “Fucking Machines” look bloody scary on that website?
hey..
hrmm.. the joys of the little ones.. hehe..
i cant believe Amy found it.. lol
Taz’s last blog post..24 weeks old
I bet that if I make the WHOOOOOAAAAAM sound now You wont be thinking of Darth Vader Will you???
xxx cheers kim xxx
frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Mystery Object # 2
The other day I on my blog I asked people what was ON their bedside table, very carefully not asking people what was IN the drawer, lol! You need a bedside drawer.
Jill S.’s last blog post..Finally
Oh No! That is too funny. Get a door. Every good mommy espcially one that owns a vibrator needs a door.
Suzie’s last blog post..The Monster Did It
Lol – only you can get away with posts like this Veronica have you heard and rather seen the toddler song on you tube – Mummy has a toy rocket in her top drawer !
Trish’s last blog post..Kitty say what ?
LOL Love it! I had one of those rabbits, it was great but I left some old batteries in it for too long so I had to chuck it
I’ve heard that this is a good toy… http://www.annsummers.com/single.asp?gid=7&cat=2&pid=4834
I’ve yet to try it though!
Marylin’s last blog post..Ku’d you pass me the choke chain?
We have a floor safe in the bedroom.
Lou’s last blog post..100 Word Challenge – spark
Two words- High Shelf
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Dressed For Spring
Your poor bloke wouldn’t want to be too sensitive ;0)
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..24,000,000,000 to 1
No, the spikey things don’t hurt – unless its the hard-plastic variety (doesn’t look like it is though).
If this makes you a bad mother then I must be the worst mother alive. After having so much ‘fun’ the last thing I think about is getting up to put it away…so I’ll leave it under a pillow. Not only has my 3 year old daughter found it…but also my 6 year old son. More than once. I spazzed every time.
What about a dresser drawer? That’s where I used to keep mine. OR you could store them in a cute, funky purse and hang it up in your closet.
Kendra’s last blog post..Majesty
Ours is still – for the moment – out of reach…..
Karen (Misc Mum)’s last blog post..My barbaric yawp has become very tired and very cranky all of a sudden
“Thank god she wasn’t rummaging through the study.”
WTF have you got in there then? a couple of oiled up 19 year old Greek backpackers?
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..24,000,000,000 to 1
What is this? National Vibrator Month? I just wrote a vibe blog. Perhaps you can come up with a way to supercharge the “vibe” in my discussion. It is the ultimate way to bad motherhood.
imaginary binky’s last blog post..Get your sex toy away from my child
The spiky things don’t hurt.
Ree’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – Flowers!
Been there, done that. We have a box, and the kids have found it more than once. Even after I move it. And put it under a bed. Or up high. They might need therapy LOL
Tara’s last blog post..POP goes the weasel!
I so want to know what’s in your study.
Anja’s last blog post..What next? A foetus in a thong?
I have a girlfriend – who has a best friend that has a pact with her. For some reason, if the best friend dies, my girlfriend is to go into the house and retrieve all items that may be deemed unsuitable for her children to find. Such items are to be disposed of quietly.
An idea to add to the list??
Toni’s last blog post..The circle….
What’s this mommy? Oh, that… it’s one of daddy’s tools…shall we put it away?
A locking bank bag, $8 on ebay… has been the ticket to discretion in my house.
Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..Pet Peeve Thursday–The Tax Edition
Our stash used to be in our top dresser drawer, but Julia knows how to use a step stool. She also knows how to use the lower drawers like stairs. I’d reccommend a lock box in the closet. Not that that’s my secret hiding place or anything…
Leslie’s last blog post..Readers, Lend Me Your Idears!
lol “a light sabre” roflmao I think I’m gonna pee my pants laughing about that one…
A few of the Aus online chemists sell them, I think it’s chemist warehouse? Postage not bad around $5.00.
Trouble is you don’t want a hiding spot that takes ages to access – may just break the mood a bit!!
It could have been worse, especially if your 8 year old finds Picture magazines under the bed, takes them to school and SELLS them in the LIBRARY, and gets caught in the process. When the principal rang it was like no longer something Mum needed to go and sort out – this time it was DAD’S turn!!!
At least Amy is young enough to have no idea what it is – more embarrassing if she was older!
G
xx
Myst’s last blog post..Inching Towards Contentment
p.s. My last blog title has nothing to do with vibrators!!! Believe it or not!!! he he!
Myst’s last blog post..Inching Towards Contentment
Did I ever pick THE BEST week to link to your blog or what! Have just about peed my pants I laughed so hard! But don’t worry it is our job to scar our children for life! I also am dead curious to know what the heck is in your study!!!??
katef’s last blog post..What Should I do with this?
Veronica, this is too funny! So when do we find out what is in the study?
debbies last blog post..Giveaway winner announced and a meme from the land down under
HAHAHA fucking Ha.
I just laughed my big ol but off!!! I’m new to your blog but an instant fan!!!
Google the pleasure box, get the penguin-tronic or whatever it’s called.
You’ll thank me.
lol.
Try explaining to a 12 and 10 year old.Aren’t they supposed to be too embarassed to ask questions???Apparantly now I’m a lesbian because I have toys!!!My lord!!!
Well, they do make convenient light sabers. Can’t argue that
Bahaha. I was just browsing through your old posts and this made me think of when my brother and I found my mums vibrator. We picked it up trying to figure out what it was and everything. She insists she used it as a back massager….yeah right. I have had therapy for many a thing but nothing too do with finding that little plastic rocket hahaha (I originally thought it was a strange torch eh).