Black Humour

by Veronica on August 25, 2008

in Soapbox

You know, there is alot of black humour in parenting.

I mean, what else can you do but laugh when you are down to your very last change of clean clothes and your new baby pukes all down your back? And you were just about to get in the car to go to the doctors and you are already late and now the baby is screaming and you are wet and dripping and there is no time for a shower, but you really need a new t-shirt at least and there are NO CLEAN CLOTHES!

So you wear your husbands t-shirt to the doctors, no matter that your nipples poke out of it and you try and ignore that your bra is a little damp and that you smell of eau de baby puke.

Or when you stay in bed just a little too long, trusting the toddler to entertain themselves for 5 minutes and then you realise that the silence has gotten deafening and you jump out of bed, only to find that there is olive oil, salt and sugar all over the bench and that your toddler is finger painting in it because you were too lazy to get out of bed when they did and now you have a bigger mess and was 5 minutes really worth it? You think maybe it was.


So you laugh about it, as you run a bath, plop the toddler into the bath and then go about cleaning up the kitchen. While you are still wearing nothing but your knickers.

Then there was that time when your baby needed a feed desparately, but you were driving, so you got your husband to drop into the nearest park so you could breastfeed in the carpark, only your boobs were hideously engorged and when your milk lets down you drown your baby, who pulls off spluttering and choking, while your other boob runs milk in little spurts all down your chest and it was the one day that you didn’t pack spare clothes.

And you realise that the guys in the car next to you can see your naked breast while you are trying to convince the baby to re-latch. There is milk dripping and a nipple swinging about and you think that maybe they were busily getting stoned, but you have just ruined their groove because they now can’t look anywhere but dead ahead without blushing.

OR, you know that time when you thought that your toddler was in their bedroom, only to find that they were actually in the study, drawing on themselves with permanent marker?

And you might feel mortified while it is happening, but you get home and you DO laugh about your little one having a tantrum in the supermarket. Generally to someone who understands. Like the internet.

Black humour.

When I write about things that have frustrated me, or because I am at the end of my tether IN THAT MOMENT, it is generally because someone, somewhere will find the humour in it. Maybe someone else had just dealt with an exploding nappy, or with a toddler who was snuggling you, but just pee’d all down your leg. And the couch. And themselves.

Maybe that is why Mummy and Daddy blogging is soley the domain of parents. Because people without children have a harder time finding the humour in bodily functions and breastmilk gone bad [or as was the case when Amy was a newborn, breastmilk gone everywhere].

Sometimes maybe, when something is outside your experience, you have a hard time seeing that it isn’t complaining, or unhappiness, but black humour. Maybe you need to just relax and flow along and smile if you think it’s funny [that today, it happened to someone else and not you] without assuming that I need help getting over it.



I took the weekend off and came back to find 144 146 spam comments. What am I, flavour of the week? (And they are still coming in, to the tune of one a minute or so).

Also? Today, run on sentences are obviously my friends. Don’t pick on me for it.


Gah, I’ve had to disable comments because of the huge amount of spam on this post. See my ‘contact’ page above if you need to comment here.


maiden53 August 25, 2008 at 11:20 am

Thank you for sharing your “black humor”… I LOVED it!! Brought back a few of my own moments with my kids!! I look forward to more of your very intertaining wit,V!

TheMama August 25, 2008 at 11:21 am

And thank you for posting it so that when n00bs like me are standing in their kitchen watching a 16 month old squeezing the ever-loving life out of the watermelon they yelled for not 5 minutes ago, we can step back and think, “I am not the only one doing this today,” and maybe even eek out a deep breath or two.

Run-ons rock!

TheMamas last blog post..6 Word Sunday

Tanya August 25, 2008 at 11:48 am

its funny for those of us who arent yet parents too. lets us in on what is to come.

tiff August 25, 2008 at 12:17 pm

You know what? I can relate to all of those and I think they are hilarious.
It is good to be able to relate.

tiffs last blog post..Weekly Winners – glittershoot.

Taz August 25, 2008 at 1:12 pm

the very joys of parent hood..

how are you hun?

Tazs last blog post..44 Weeks Old

Mrs. C August 25, 2008 at 1:18 pm

Hey, I just read this and thought you needed more clothes, you know? ;] Maybe an emergency breastfeeding blankie in the car, too.

Mrs. Cs last blog post..Games My Homeschoolers Play.

KAT August 25, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick!
I had to pick on you just because you told me not to because I pick on people who do the same things as I do like writing never ending run-on sentences. ha.
Those were all great examples of the black humor of motherhood.
Want to hear too much information? My left breast has an extra hole where milk comes out, just on the outside edge of my areola. Weird, right? Especially when he’d start sucking and I’d forget to cover it – the milk would shoot out that hole and hit him in the head. That was good for a few laughs.

KATs last blog post..Just Another Boring Mommy Blogger

Jayne August 25, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Oh yes, been there and done that with a few of your moments πŸ™‚
Ya know, if all the mummy/daddy bloggers posted about these things it could be more effective than condoms πŸ˜›

Jaynes last blog post..Trivial History August 25

anja August 25, 2008 at 3:56 pm

You crack me up. I’m visualising the dudes in the car, passing the spliff, and one of them says,

“Dude, has that chick got her tits out?”

The others stare for a while and say,

“Dude, this shit is the maddest. That chick’s tits are exploding”

I love your black humour. πŸ™‚

anjas last blog post..Reflection.

river August 25, 2008 at 4:59 pm

My gosh, I can certainly remember the breastmilk gone everywhere days. From the very beginning in the hospital when i would have the baby on one breast and a jug catching the milk spurting out of the other. Change clothes, milk spurted. Have a shower, milk spurted. Feed the baby, milk spurted. And I had A LOT of milk. In the hospital we were asked to express our leftover milk for the premmie babies, well I fed T, then started expressing, filled 3 little jugs, then stopped because my hands were sore, not because I’d run out of milk. I reckon I could have fed the entire premmie ward ON MY OWN.

Xbox4NappyRash August 25, 2008 at 7:06 pm

I think it’s safe to say I can appreciate the black humour in the insanity of it all, kids or no kids.

Very good entry.

Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Dos & don’ts

Jenni August 25, 2008 at 9:53 pm

I’ve often said to folks if you don’t laugh at parenthood, you’d go insane.

Jennis last blog post..Phobia Friday: The ER

katef August 25, 2008 at 10:03 pm

You gotta laugh or you cry right?
I am right there with you on all that you wrote… though why is it that when I try to blog something in a light hearted ‘black humour’ kind of way often people just don’t seem to get it…. I think I suck at humour in general!

katefs last blog post..Organise β€˜08 – Getting Your Head Around It.

Jenn FL August 25, 2008 at 10:35 pm

I totally hear you, Veronica. Those days when you go to bed and have fits of laughter just because your day was so unbelievable. Been there, done that. Milk and all.

Jenn FLs last blog post..Raining Tadpoles?

lceel August 25, 2008 at 10:49 pm

It’s just that there are times, just times mind you, when you seem a bit overwhelmed. And I understand that.
What would you do if you had a REAL complaint and no one sympathized – no one understood – everyone laughed because it was ‘black humor’.

No one, not one single person out here, has the right to criticize you. Laugh with you, cry with you, sympathize with you and understand you. Yes. Never criticize.

lceels last blog post..I hate it when that happens

Bettina August 25, 2008 at 11:30 pm

Or the time when your male toddler decided to paint his nails while running around the house nekkid and tipped bright pink nail polish all over himself and the bathtub and the toilet seat and you just couldn’t bring yourself to apply nail polish remover to his little nutsack! Yeah, that was funny too. πŸ˜†

Suzie August 25, 2008 at 11:36 pm

Ive so been there. You are not alone and hearing everyones stories somehow makes it easier. Hang in there ((hugs))

Suzies last blog post..Why I hate Class Trips

Memarie Lane August 26, 2008 at 12:32 am

When Max was a baby I remember wailing to anyone that would listen that ALL I wanted ALL I asked was for my shirt to be dry for five freaking minutes.

Memarie Lanes last blog post..Our Lady of the Downstairs Bathroom

Marylin August 26, 2008 at 5:29 am

Yay for taking a weekend off hun. πŸ™‚ Hope it helped a little. ((hugs))

Barbara August 26, 2008 at 6:51 am

One of the things I love about your blog (apart from the damn good writing and beautifully long sentences) is the fact that you make me feel so much better – it’s so nice to know that someone else out there is going through the same crap that I do!

Barbaras last blog post..238/366 – Her Favourite and maybe His One Day

Ree August 26, 2008 at 10:01 am

I never heard the boob milk story in the park before. πŸ˜‰

Rees last blog post..Teachers – Past in Polaroids 3

Hyphen Mama August 26, 2008 at 1:48 pm

HaHaHa… that reminds me of the time (on July 4th) that I was blogging and sure my kids were playing contently. The silence was DEAFENING. I went to the kitchen to find Mack had poured a bottle of pancake syrup on the counter and was finger painting with it. Did I yell? No I grabbed the camera and realized it was my own negligence. He smelled super sweet for the rest of the day. I learned that 5 minutes of peace sometimes has a high price tag.

Hyphen Mamas last blog post..White Trash Air Travel

Kathi D August 26, 2008 at 1:57 pm

My sister once let herself stay in bed a little longer because the baby was being quiet for a change. Turns out he was totally into the project he was working on. He had removed the poop from his diaper and carefully filled up all the holes in the “busybox” hanging on his crib and for good measure filled the keyhole of the bedroom door that was reachable from the crib.

Sandy (Momisodes) August 27, 2008 at 5:40 am

Ugh, that silence always freaks me out. So freaking eerie, and usually for good reason.

You’re so right. It’s great knowing that I’m not the only leaky, dairy queen hiding in her πŸ™‚

Sandy (Momisodes)s last blog post..We’ve Got It…Again

Trish August 27, 2008 at 7:05 pm

I love you humour – black or white ! as long they laugh with you and not at you – yes I hear on black humour.
I did my Wordless Wednesday on black hunour today though at the time I could have throttled them for doing it… and the hundred other things that they do every day.

Trish August 27, 2008 at 7:10 pm

Hmm I need more sleep … why don’t you have an edit feature Veronica … I meant I love ‘your’ humour and I hear YOU on black humour.

Trishs last blog post..Not so Wordless Wednesday – Hands up

Mary Kate August 29, 2008 at 2:32 am

You need to be a writer. I am a professional writer and find that you are very creative and witty in your writing..good show!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: