Boys are a danger to themselves

by Veronica on April 15, 2012

in Gotta Laugh, Isaac

There are things I don’t expect to have to do while I am sitting on the toilet trying not to throw up, while a baby kicks me in the internal organs.


Catching my son as he rides his tricycle backwards at full speed, down the toilet step, tipping his bike over with him underneath it and sending him hurtling towards the concrete.

More than five years of parenting has honed my reflexes and I managed to catch his arm and drag him upright before his skull connected with the cement*.

Sure, I also hit him in the cheek with his handlebars, but saving your boy from a fractured skull is definitely the way to feel like you’re nailing this mothering gig.

Now, if I could just get him to wear a helmet, this whole thing would be easier.


For the record, we have about an acre of grass for bike riding, making helmets pretty unneccesary, but Isaac likes the one concrete pathway between the house and toilet. OF COURSE HE DOES. Also, he hates helmets. Take it up with him, not me.

kelley @ magnetoboldtoo April 15, 2012 at 5:09 pm

While heavily pregnant with Moo I dislocated her arm while trying to stop her from drowning in the mens toilets of a local pub.

Same thing really.


Tracey T April 15, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Have you also noticed how boys cannot actually walk in a straight line? They hop, shuffle, move from side to side, bang into younger (boy) sibling etc etc. It drives me crazy! In terms of dangerous behaviour, lets just say at one point Darcy had 2 black eyes. I was worried about Child Protection being called and that would have been embarassing as I was working with them at the time!

Sharon A. April 15, 2012 at 6:13 pm

I hear you. My son always is covered in bruises. Self inflicted, 100%. His little sister got her lip cut away from her gums a year or so ago, because she was trying to keep up with his ability to jump from one bed to another (pretty far away from each other!). His only answer was, ‘but I’m alright!’ I honestly don’t know how he’s survived this long.

river April 15, 2012 at 8:54 pm

My older boy used to drag the trampoline close to the fence, climb onto the fence then belly flop onto the trampoline. How he didn’t break his neck I’ll never know. This the same boy that used to sulk at the very top of the hills hoist at age 2.

Jolich67 April 15, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Not just boys, my daughter is the danger freak unable to walk in a straight line, more often looking back rather than forward and picking up EVERY stick and rock! My boy is the (relatively) sensible one!

Jessica April 16, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Good catch Veronica!!! You are amazing…when I was pregnant I drove through a carport, I was more a danger to myself, I could not catch my then toddler like you caught your son, wow! …your reflexes are very sharp!!!

Becky April 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

I got lucky: The DragonMonkey is obsessed with wearing helmets. Unfortunately, his tricycle also comes with a seatbelt, and he insists on strapping it…which means if the bike goes over, he goes over.

Seriously though, great catch!

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