I was looking through my photo albums the other day, and pointed out a photo to Nathan. He nodded, acknowledging that he’d seen it, and pretty much ignored me.
“Honey, which kid is that?” I asked.
He came back over and had a closer look at the photo, which is what I expected. I make Nathan look at so many photos of his children – children that he sees every day – that I can forgive him for acknowledging and then ignoring me.
“Wow.” He said.
Internet, there can be no doubt that our children look very much alike.
I wonder, in twenty years, will I be looking at the baby photos and having to hunt down their dates to work out which child is which?
And, for regular readers, can you guess who is who?
I have a middle child. It’s a new thing – his baby sister is only seven months old and has been nothing short of complicated. It’s been an adjustment period for all of us, and that’s okay. You expect a baby to be an adjustment.
But, in my mind, my poor middle child is suffering. Sandwiched between his temperamental, brilliant, impetuous older sister and his complicated baby sister, it feels like he’s getting lost in the noise.
In reality, that’s not the case. This boy talks ALL THE TIME. There’s no chance of me forgetting about him. He adores his sisters and waits patiently every day for Amy to come home from school. He can’t wait until he starts Kindergarten next year and goes to school with her. (Neither can I)
We sat down this morning and he asked me to read Amy’s library book. So I did. Three times. Then he read the first half of the book to me. I pointed out the sight words and he remembered them. I was both shocked and thrilled. It’s taken his older sister until this year to find her love of reading – yet Isaac is finding his before school even starts for him.
I’m over the moon.
It’s a timely reminder for me that he is his own person. He’s an amazing little boy and I am excited to watch him grow and develop.
In other news: Sleepless Nights is up for a Bloggie! I’m a finalist in TWO categories and have spent the last four days skipping around, being excited to be amongst such great company. Some of the best blogs in the world are finalists there and I’m amongst them.
I would love if you could vote for me. I’m in the Best Australian/NZ blog category, as well as the Lifetime Achievement category. Looking at my competition, I have no hope, but it’s amazing to be there.
I could spend a thousand words waxing lyrical about where the time has gone and how much you’ve grown, but I won’t, because everybody knows how time flies when children are small.
Instead, I will just wish you the happiest of happy birthdays, because today, you are four.
We saw the neurologist for Evelyn last week. The official line is wait and see. We don’t know anything and we won’t know anything until she starts to display differing symptoms as she gets older. It’s hard, this wait and see. Wait and see if she improves, or goes downhill. Wait. See. Horrible. I have a phone appointment with our Paediatrician tomorrow to get the results from her last lot of blood tests and that’s it until after Christmas.
Encouraging things though are this:
This is Evelyn holding her head up briefly the other day. It didn’t last long and she hasn’t been able to repeat it (I say she’s storing up energy for next time) but she did it and I am so very proud of her.
Yesterday she giggled for the first time. I nearly cried.
Everything else continues along steadily. She’s still having episodes regularly, she still sleeps more than any baby ought to – especially a baby who is over four months old – and her eyes still aren’t great.
But she is deliciously kissable and every little thing she manages is a huge achievement. Go Evelyn.
Isaac saw the doctors too regarding his stomach issues and we’re looking into starting the FODMAP diet with him. I expect the adjustment period to be a bit hellish, but we hope it’s going to help. Just waiting on seeing the dietician now.
I held Evelyn’s feet in my hands and kissed them until she smiled at me. I looked at them; at the silvery scars on her heels and the remnants of failed cannulas and I tucked them back under her blanket for her; safe from air and touching and harsh needles.
I’ve been reading a lot. This year has been rough and I’m ready for it to be over. I keep dreaming that my grandmother is alive and that everything is okay with Evelyn and then I wake up and nothing is right. I’m not as mentally healthy as I could be, but I suspect a lot of that will be fixed by the holidays. Until then, I’m reading and I’m writing and I’m kissing my children.
How are you?
Exhibit A: Where did my baby go?
Exhibit B: I have THREE children. How did that happen?
Exhibit C: It was a cold morning and she is FUZZYWUZZYADORABLE.