Death, and similarities.

by Veronica on December 27, 2013

in Evelyn,Grief

The hardest thing about my grandmother dying, if you ignore the loss of our matriarchal support system, is that I can see her in my children and she is not here to see herself in them.

Evelyn Kathleen was named after both Nathan’s grandmother (Evelyn) and my grandmothers (Lyn and Kathleen), and I can see them in her. Especially my grandmother Lyn.

Death is a multi-layered thing. There is grief and grieving, loss and missing. It changes, warps and moves, and sometimes I am still struck low by just how much I miss her.

Our Christmas was low key. Original plans fell out of the window when all three children fell sick just before the big day, so we cancelled and stayed home. It was a good decision, albeit a hard one to have to make. The children spent a lot of time doing nothing, and being unwell.

Evelyn’s eyes are finally settling on the colour they will be. A piercing blue green, I see my grandmother in them. Same colour, same curls. And maybe, you think I am looking extra hard, because she died too soon and missed this third great-grandchild of hers. Maybe you’re right.

But then I see photos of Nan as a baby, and I know I’m not wrong.

I miss her, a lot.

Christmas is hard when your family is missing giant parts of itself.

I asked Mum today if she would hunt up the photos of Nan as a baby and send them to me so I could share them.





We think the final photo is our Aunty Joan holding Nan. My grandmother, Kathleen is on the right in the second photo. Joan was her sister.


Kim @frogpondsrock December 27, 2013 at 10:03 pm

The resemblance is uncanny. She is so like Mum at the same age. Xxx

Glowless December 27, 2013 at 10:37 pm

I see it, too. She does look just like her. Bobbin looks quite similar to my sister for whom she is named and it is bittersweet.

Alison December 28, 2013 at 9:31 am

I always saw Kim in Evie too, which makes sense :) Love these photos, love the hairstyles.

Amy R December 28, 2013 at 11:06 am

Oh my goodness! Even the same crazy cowlick!

Kate looks like my bff. I am not related even slightly to my bff, nor is Kate’s father. Please explain that one. Osmosis? Aliens?

Anne December 28, 2013 at 11:11 am

I can definitely see the resemblance, lovely photos as well :)

Its always interesting to look at old photos, especially baby photos.

Hope the kids are feeling better soon too ((hugs)) to you all xo

river December 28, 2013 at 3:18 pm

Definitely a big resemblance.

We have measles here in Adelaide, one child was hospitalised I read in the paper, I know your kids are immunised, but is there a possibility they have very mild cases, that would explain the fevers and runny noses.

Clair December 29, 2013 at 10:07 am

Wow Evelyn looks a lot like her great grandmother. One of the saddest things I’ve ever done was have my baby after my own beloved grandmother died. Not being able to share my daughter with my Nanna often makes me so sad, they say that time heals all wounds, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving. Her middle name is Kathleen (and first name Evie… Whoa!) because my mum is Kathleen (but goes by Kathy legally) and my Nanna was Eileen.

Veronica December 29, 2013 at 1:04 pm

That’s kind of cool. Personally, I think Evelyn Kathleen is the prettiest name :-)

Happy Elf Mom December 29, 2013 at 11:24 am

They do look much alike! Often our family is like a mosaic and we carry pieces of all our other members with us, and yet we are ourselves. Evelyn will grow into her own someday and look out world when it happens! Looking forward to many years of picture- and story-sharing from you on this one.

Megan December 30, 2013 at 1:05 am

Lovely photos, there’s nothing more endearing than photos from “the olden days”. The most beautiful thing is all the lovely hand knitted jumpers and cardigans everyone is wearing. There looks to be a lot of your Nanna is Evie’s face.

Blossom December 31, 2013 at 1:27 pm

Evie is just gorgeous. I love seeing the older photos.


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