Don’t piss the universe off

by Veronica on July 2, 2009

in Headfuck

The morning of Nan’s funeral dawned grey and bitter. Awoken by Isaac looking at me and smiling, I was hoping like hell I could feed him and go back to sleep. Unfortunately, Amy woke up part way through the feed, so I was listening to her yelling ‘Mummy! I AM awake NOW!’ while Isaac kept breaking off to smile. I dragged myself out of bed and looked at my outfit hanging on the door ready to be put on. It wasn’t going to be a good day.

Mum forwarded a copy of the Eulogy to me. It was a first draft put together by my uncle. It was good, but it needed editing and polishing. So, I rang Mum, we talked and then I rewrote parts of the Eulogy and tied it all together into a cohesive speech before sending it back to Mum.

Just a heads up for anyone else who may or may not be involved in organising a funeral. Rewriting a eulogy on the morning of the funeral? Yeah, I don’t recommend it.

I was so stressed that my uncle would be upset with me for rewriting parts of it, but I pulled myself up, tucked myself in and figured that of course he wouldn’t be annoyed, it was only a first draft after all and it was too long and missing chunks and it was better now.


Eventually we were all ready and packed into the car.

Turn the key. Click click click goes the car.


Again, turn the key. Click click ffffft.


Fucking fuck of a fucking car. Fuck.

Dressed to the nines, we were standing in our very soggy front yard with a dead battery. FINE. We’ll just change the battery from the other car. Nathan jumped into the other car and checked to see if that one would start. Click click whirrrrr fffft.

Two cars. Two dead batteries. What are the odds? Dear universe. I know that you can fuck things up if you choose to, but really, don’t we have enough going on? FortheloveofGOD.

A phone call later, Mum and Dad were on the way to help get our stupid fuck of a fucking car started.

I have never been so stressed in my life. We quickly rearranged Amy’s care arrangements, knowing that no way in hell we had enough time to get her out to his parents AND back to the funeral.

Mum arrived and after enough swear words to make a sailor blush, our car was started and running.

I had the shakes, I felt nauseous and I was more than ready to be done with this day.

We got to the funeral uneventfully. Just as the car died. In the car park.

Oh my fucking god.

But we’d made it and everything could be sorted later. My stress levels were through the roof (have I mentioned I was a little stressed?) as I got Isaac out of the car and into his pram to walk in.

I flicked my head back, drew in a deep breathe and walked through the glass doors. My uncle saw me, looked at me and then immediately looked away. I didn’t notice really, I was too busy looking for Mum. I was about to fall apart.

I found Mum and started swearing about the car. Nothing better than a minor emergency to take your mind off the big things.

I was keeping my shit together fine, until I saw two of my parent’s friends walk through the front doors. Two men, dressed in jeans and a leather jacket. Two men, who weren’t there for any other reason than to say goodbye to Nan and provide support for US.

I burst into tears I was that pleased to see them.

The service was lovely and I cried the entire way through it. All the work put in and it pulled together perfectly. I made it there on time and Isaac was good throughout. You can’t ask for anything more, can you.

And if a certain family member of mine refused to acknowledge my presence there, merely exchanging polite words when I initiated conversation, well then. That’s not my issue. That’s his.


In other things:

I asked and I received. I had my big girl panties all ready, but it turns out I didn’t need them. Not really.

Go on, go and read it.

And… I had my breast checked by a GP today. Definitely a lump there and it feels mobile so that is a good thing. In most cases, mobile lumps are benign cysts. I’m not terribly positive that it does move though and I’m the one feeling it at every available opportunity. HOWEVER. We’ll just not think of that. I am off for an ultrasound of it (‘it’ sounds weird. I almost feel I should name it) next Thursday. I’m much less worried now that I’ve seen the doctor and we’ve got things in motion for checks and stuff.


frogpondsrock July 2, 2009 at 9:11 pm

Oh sweetheart I do love you so… Your Grandmother was incredibly proud of you and I don’t think any of us would have coped as well in the last twelve months without each other. Mum relied on you to remember ALL the details of all our trips to the doctors.

The first draft of the Eulogy read like a resume. The final draft had a bit of heart.

frogpondsrocks last blog post..That Look.

Janet B July 2, 2009 at 9:46 pm

You’re obviously a special girl Veronica! I do hope things start looking up now. I am glad that your arrrangements well!

Janet Bs last blog post..Bed Time!

Ali July 2, 2009 at 10:15 pm

Don’t give another thought to family members who have their noses out of joint. I’m sure you wrote what your Nan would have wanted.

Alis last blog post..Buy me a ranting chair!

witchypoo July 2, 2009 at 10:41 pm

I will never understand why some family members feel the need to create a shitstorm while everyone is already grieving. I’m sorry for all that you are going through, and relieved there is a little peace in your heart about the lump.
Tell your mum to breathe. Much love to you.

witchypoos last blog post..This is the Song that Never Ends

Tanya July 2, 2009 at 10:59 pm

what else do you expect? the universe is like that. as long as you felt the funeral went the best way it could thats all that matters.

Your nan lives on in her children, their children and their children.

I read that review btw, good job!!!

p.s good luck with the breast lump.

Tanyas last blog post..1 month old

Barbara July 2, 2009 at 11:00 pm

Oh love. That sounds like a shitty day. Maybe your cars were coming out in sympathy? Not sure where I’m going with that. I’m glad the service was ok though.

I read your review this morning and was mightily impressed. I’ve been reading their blog for a while (since xbox got reviewed) so I know how it can go for people. I think you got a great review and you deserved it. I’ve asked and I’m reinforcing my big girls pants with steel girders as we speak – I think I’ll need it!

Barbaras last blog post..Wet Flannel

lceel July 2, 2009 at 11:25 pm

That uncle of yours – needs to look around him – see what other young women your age are like – and then realize just what an amazing woman you are. he should bend over and kiss your …. well, you get the idea.

So glad the lump appears to be a cyst – I know that nursing mothers often get them – along with blocked milk ducts – although those are usually accompanied by pain. Anyway. Take a deep breath and feel this *HUG*.

lceels last blog post..A Little Unhappy

Hyphen Mama July 3, 2009 at 1:00 am

Dear gawd, just READING about getting TO the funeral gives me anxiety. Seriously, what are the odds?

Your uncle doesn’t matter one. little. bit. If he didn’t want input, he shouldn’t have let anybody else see it beforehand.

Hyphen Mamas last blog post..Thank Gawd for Small Favors

Mrs. C July 3, 2009 at 1:14 am

Family. Don’cha love ’em? It seems like you’re over your “things breaking down expensively” quota for a while. Did you give your uncle your blog address? :]

Mrs. Cs last blog post..When You Come Over…

Marie July 3, 2009 at 1:51 am

First, I love the title.

Second, I read the review and Yay! but I don’t think you’re too verbose. You tell a story.

Third, hugs. More.

Xbox4NappyRash July 3, 2009 at 5:11 am

You should have belted him in the face with a dildo.

Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Give us a wave

Jeanette July 3, 2009 at 7:14 am

Can’t stand family politics, it’s so unnecessary!
Glad you’re getting the lump seen to, hope it’s benign

Jeanettes last blog post..Pink

Taz July 3, 2009 at 7:58 am

thinking of you hun.

hope things get better

big hugs

jean July 3, 2009 at 11:45 am

Ok, take a deep breath. Everyone deals with their grief differently. Your upset family member is just taking it out on you. It sucks and isn’t fair so try to ignore it.

I don’t know what to say about the car. Seriously, what are the odds? Can I say that from here, it can only get better? Really. Or is that too cliche?

I’m glad that you got the lump looked at. I think you should name it. How about Martha? I don’t know why, that name just popped into my head.


Joyce-Anne July 3, 2009 at 11:52 am

I’m sorry you have to deal with family politics at this time. It’s so unnecessary. Meanwhile I am happy to hear you are taking care of yourself. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Joyce-Annes last blog post..Vacation is all I ever wanted

Sharon July 3, 2009 at 2:08 pm

Funerals bring out the best and the worst in families. You did your best to get through an extraordinarily crappy day with grace and dignity, those who didn’t can deal with their own problems. The day was about Nan and no one else. I’m positive she would have been extremely proud of you just as she always has been 😉

Moves like a cyst, sounds like a cyst, let’s hope you get a beautiful picture of a cyst when the ultrasound is done so that we can all see it too!


river July 3, 2009 at 6:18 pm

You have so many friends and relatives, you probably don’t need that particular uncle anyway. Glad the funeral went well.

Jaye @ July 4, 2009 at 2:57 am

Try to ignore him, he’s probably just grieving and taking it out on anyone and everyone in his path. Try to stay positive – and away from family politics.

Jaye @ canadian-mom.cas last blog post..Welcome!

frogpondsrock July 4, 2009 at 7:03 am

You have some really good comments here Vonnie. He is grieving and we are just too sensitive. All you need to remember is how much your grandmother loved you and how very very proud of you she was. xox Mum

frogpondsrocks last blog post..That Look.

Jayne July 4, 2009 at 12:41 pm

Forget about the family member who obviously wanted to be the centre of attention at your Nan’s funeral, because that’s all it boils down to in the end, a tantrum.

Jaynes last blog post..You may take your combine harvester and….drop it round the back of my place, ta.

Bendy Girl July 4, 2009 at 10:27 pm

It may be worth bearing in mind that you or I will not have the same concept of ‘movement’ as a non bendy doctor. Just cos we can’t shove something 6 inches in every direction don’t mean it’s immobile.
As for your family member, they can go hang out with mine & all miss out together. Lots love to you all BG x x x

mike the unconcerning uncle July 4, 2009 at 11:03 pm

read my blog

mike the unconcerning uncles last blog post..WTF

Dina July 5, 2009 at 8:12 am

I’m a little late getting to this.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know your nan was so important to you. She seemed like a wonderful woman–funny, honest, and brave.

Dinas last blog post..Joel Fitzgibbon

Cat July 6, 2009 at 2:25 pm

Hey there, I don’t read blogs very regularly but I wanted to let you know that I’m sorry to hear about your nan. My grandmother also died earlier this year and it’s such a sad time. My thoughts are with you and your mum and the rest of your family.

Cats last blog post..

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: