Dear Ehlers Danlos Syndrome,
Seriously, you’re fucking up my sex life. I mean, I know complaining isn’t going to change anything and it’s not exactly like you can tone it down for me, but I’d like you to know that some things? They aren’t exactly ideal at the moment.
I can’t have sex because my hips flick in and out of joint, leaving me either screaming (and not the good kind of screaming either) or limping for days.
I can’t masturbate because my skin tears and there are only so many vibrator induced orgasms one person can have before they’d like something a little different to be happening down there.
And finally, I can’t give blow jobs because my jaw clicks out too.
Nathan is very unhappy.
So am I.
The least you could do would be to give me spontaneous orgasms. That way I’d be completely satisfied and could tell Nathan to deal with it completely guilt free.