Fifty Shades of Grey: AKA can people BE any more judgey and smug?

by Veronica on June 26, 2012

in Soapbox

So, it’s been a rough week here and when things get rough I seek out escapism. Being pregnant, I didn’t want to start anything mentally challenging, so I downloaded 50 Shades of Grey.

While I’m happy to read just about anything ever written, let’s face it, sometimes books are merely a fantasy world to disappear into and that’s what I wanted.

Three days later and I’ve read all three books and I’m a little sick of the judging and the smugness I see in the conversations carried out about the series.

Let’s address the main complaints:

It’s “MUMMY PORN”.

How offensive can you get in one statement? It’s erotica plain and simple. No one is getting all het up about the single women reading it, or the men – no, it’s the fact that it’s getting MOTHERS worked up that is offensive.

No one calls Playboy “Daddy Porn” so why does a new to the market book aimed at women suddenly get labelled “mummy porn”?

I call misogynistic bullshit on this one.

It’s badly written.

Yep, it is. I knew that within 5 minutes of starting the first book. I still kept reading. You know why? Because it’s escapism. Because I don’t need my books to come with a full complement of dictionary words. Because sometimes trash is exactly what I feel like reading.

It’s not so badly written that it annoyed me and unlike some books, I didn’t feel the urge to take a red pen to it at any point either.

“But if only people realised how badly written it is!”

This one is usually accompanied by much hand wringing and a “won’t someone please think of the poor poor consumers” type attitude.

It’s the assumption that anyone reading Fifty Shades has no idea that it’s badly written. Like all of us are suddenly too stupid to realise that it’s basically a stripped back, sexed up version of every other romance novel out there.

Look, you don’t expect sweeping epiphanies from Mills and Boon books – why expect it of Fifty Shades? It’s junk food for your brain. Stop expecting it to be a 10 course degustation menu. Sometimes I just feel like a cheeseburger you know?

The characters are SO much like Twilight’s main two characters.

I can’t really comment on this one, because I haven’t read Twilight – but correct me if I’m wrong, wasn’t Fifty Shades originally Twilight fan-fic that was published online, before being picked up by a publisher?

Not a good enough reason to judge everyone else reading it.

Have you read it? Have you found yourself being a JUDGEY MCJUDGERTON about the whole thing?

Leigh June 26, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I read them all in about a week as well. Not something i’d normally read and was certainly sucked in by the hype. Just like you, was having a bad week, and it was a great escape.

I am not afraid to admit that I did enjoy them. Wish there were more books (not necessarily that genre ;)) That had so many people reading and sharing.

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I agree, it was a great escape and I did enjoy them. They were fluffy and exactly what I hoped they’d be.

Rusty Hoe June 26, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I haven’t read it as it just hasn’t appealed to me. But I do get annoyed at the ‘mummy porn’ label. As you say it is demeaning and dismissive. I’ve read most of Anais Nin’s work, and I’m a mum does that now make it mummy porn, or does it remain as classic erotica? And why is society so horrified by the idea of mother’s being sexual beings?

Besides we all need a bit of fluff and trash to read or watch every now and then. Escapism is a wonderful thing. But then again I enjoy escaping by watching poorly written and poorly acted SciFi channel movies like ‘Two-headed Shark’, so I may not be the best person to ask.

Hope you’re feeling better and the pain is improving from your earlier Tweet.

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:28 pm

YES! I saw the mummy porn label being bandied around and my head nearly exploded. I hate that mothers are not seen as sexual beings and when we show that yes, we still are, then people get all weird.

lee August 15, 2012 at 1:01 am

hey be cool babe its just a book. no big deal

Becky August 15, 2012 at 1:10 am

Boring troll is boring.

lee August 16, 2012 at 12:14 am

its STILL just a book babe

Daisy June 26, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I’ve read them – it took me a week to read all three and they are pure escapism. A little bit of fun! I love that you’ve called it “junk food for your brain”. Yes, I’m finding the comments and the meme’s going around all a bit Judge Judy based!!

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I agree, pure escapism and a bit of fun. Nothing to get all serious and judgey about!

Becky from BeckyandJames June 26, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I started the first book and ended up giving it to my mum to read. I didn’t care one bit about the characters and wasn’t gettin the escape I wanted, so gave up. It wasn’t for me, but I don’t care who reads it. I’ve been interested in the reaction others have had, with a recent friend saying she cried at the end of the first book, which makes me wonder a little what happened but not enough to go back. Plus, my mum has confiscated it and banned me from reading it. At 29!!
As a Twihard, I hold no judgement for what people read and know just how good a badly written story can be when you need to escape.
Also, what IS mummy porn? Dumbest label ever.

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I’ve done that with a few books that other people have loved. It’s interesting (for me) to see what grabs me and what I struggle with.

Tam June 26, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I haven’t read it, mostly because I hated Twilight. But I have a girl’s weekend away coming up and want something trashy to read, so I might have to download this. I’m all for a bit of sexy stuff in my books. Especially if the husband is no where around to get any funny ideas.

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:31 pm

I haven’t read Twilight, so I can’t really comment on it, but I’ve heard lots of different things about it.

I liked that it was escapism – a lot of sex, but it was pretty soft by the third or fourth scene. Or maybe that was just me.

Kirsa June 26, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I usually don’t like pop-lit, if the masses like something, then I generally find it far too predictable and boring. But last night, I could not sleep and was trolling about on Kindle for something to put me to sleep. This book popped up so I read the sample, and was sucked into the escapism despite the poor writing and despite the fairytale characters. It was the perfect bedtime story.

It is no better and no worse than pirate romance books, or roadhouse highland prince meets poor (but beautiful) redhead and sweeps her off her feet books.

I did however enjoy a review of the movie, not because I agreed with it, but because it was a very funny and well written review. http://screencrush.com/50-shades-of-grey-movie/

Each to their own, and if this books allows women to escape for a little while then who are we to comment?
Thanks for your post.

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I generally don’t either, for similar reasons, but I’m pregnant, exhausted and pretty well couch bound, so was looking for soft/light reading. It was great!

Tina ~ Tina Gray {dot} Me June 26, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I’ve only just downloaded it but haven’t had a chance to start it yet. So I’m ignoring all the feedback and reviews until I can read it for myself.

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Good idea!

kelli June 26, 2012 at 4:50 pm

haven’t read them. Undecided really. I was listening to an interview with Anna Funder the other day and she was saying how she isn’t sure she has enough reading time to devote to these three books. In that, if she averages a book a week that is three out of 52 books for the year and she isn’t sure she wants to put was three on pulp. Sounds a bit book snobbish but I kinda see her point. However, I am curious and all that ;P

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:25 pm

There is no way that these three books would take a week each to read. I’d fit them in around my regular reading if I was her. (Like chocolate fits into a healthy diet. God, I am full of the food metaphors today.)

workingwomenaus June 26, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I wouldn’t waste my time reading any more Twilight books (the first one was enough for me) but I don’t see the link between the characters. I also agree with you about reading a trashy novel for the sake of it sometimes! You don’t need to read intellectual, brain draining books every single day. Sometimes some light-hearted reading is just what the doctor ordered.

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I’ve not read Twilight, so I can’t really comment on the link, but I saw someone complaining (loudly) about how similar it all was. Which, if it’s fan-fic – DER.

edenland June 26, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Love it when you call misogynist bullshit on things, Veronica.

I entirely agree with your post. I haven’t read the books, simply because I like my porn hardcore. But the judgement around it all will have the author laughing all the way to the bank.

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Ha, Nathan’s usually the one subjected to my rants on the misogynistic nature of things. He just sighs and listens.

The sex for me did nada, because yeah, it was pretty soft (also, I was totally jealous of how many orgasms she seemed to manage while never touching her own clitoris). But in a Mills and Boon way? It wasn’t a terrible read.

Julia June 26, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I haven’t read it but I will! Just have a few other “trashy” novels to get through first. I read Twilight and I LOVED the escapism. And yes, the authors (of Twilight and 50 Shades) are laughing all the way to the bank because of all the judgey types. Don’t they know that the more you talk about it, the more people like me will WANT to see what the hype is about?
Like how you refer to “junk food for your brain”.

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Oooh, what trashy novels are in your pile? I think it’s all my brain can take at the moment!

Julia June 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Read Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic books!

Hespera's Garden (Kristie) June 26, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I am about 30 pages away from finishing the last book. Have enjoyed them thoroughly. I like some of your points and will remember them myself 😉

Yes, it is fan fiction originally.

I did want to attack her inner goddess with a pitch fork occasionally.

I appreciate the research she went into in the kinky-fuckery 😉

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:40 pm

God, yes. Her “inner goddess” made me a bit eye rolly at times. And I wanted to slap her and make her act like a grownup occasionally (you know what? enjoying sex is not a bad thing! Stop with the guilt!), but easy fun reading.

Carli June 26, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I’ve found some posts/articles that have had a little dig at them pretty amusing but I’ve probably missed the overly judgy stuff. I’m a big sucker for escapist trilogies and they make a great distraction from the heavy reading I have to do for school.

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 5:42 pm

I think most of the articles have been pretty balanced, it’s been twitter conversations and comment streams that get all “I’m not reading it because I’m such a hipster who can’t like anything popular”.

Carli June 26, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Oh then I definitely missed those, well hey we liked it before it was cool! 😉

frogpondsrock June 26, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I am currently reading, “Nothing If Not Critical” selected essays by Robert Hughes, Susan Sontag’s, “On Photography” as well as “Death of a Lady’s Man” by Leonard Cohen. All three of these books require great amounts of concentration on my part and with Sontag, I can rarely read more than a page or two at a time as she sends me off on bouts of deep, deep thought.
The tottering pile of books next to my bed also contains novels, lots of novels, ranging from the wonderfully epic and detailed Game of Thones to the delightfully ridiculous Alexia Tarabotti series. The short stories of Alice Walker rest happily next to the Bookseller of Kahbul, next to David Eddings and Robin Hobb.
Books books glorious books, I read them all and I read them all for different reasons. I haven’t read 50 shades of grey only because no-one has handed me a copy.
I get super annoyed when people get all up on their high horses about what women read, as they would do well to remember that we are so very very lucky that women in this country are ALLOWED to read.

Toni June 26, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Haven’t read them, not planning to — I’m most of the way through book 5 of A Song of Ice and Fire and trying to ration myself because I know I’m going to be heartbroken when it’s done.
But, you know — whatever blows your hair back. Somewhere, sometime, someone has criticised everything that’s ever been written. Usually someone who can’t write themselves. So if you enjoyed them, that’s all that matters.
For pure escapism, I have the True Blood books. The latest is waiting… but you know… George Martin calls louder….

frogpondsrock June 26, 2012 at 6:53 pm

I read the fifth book so so slowly, When all I wanted to do was dive in amongst the characters and swim with them. I wish that George would write faster.

Zoe June 26, 2012 at 7:23 pm

I stayed up to finish the first book of the Hunger Games at 3 am Monday, after an 8 hour drive that day. Have started the second.

So if you have another crap week soon … recommended 🙂

Veronica June 26, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I loved The Hunger Games. Like you, I read straight through. Could not put them down.

Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye June 26, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Yes its raunchy, yes the writing is crap but it’s a no brainer – escapism as you say. I just started book number two!

Veronica June 27, 2012 at 10:20 am

Excellent!

Recycled ReliX - Cathy June 27, 2012 at 10:13 am

I am in to my third book of the Millennium series or the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and cannot put it down. If you want a good crime, mystery then grab them – they are great! On my bedside I have the two Hunger Games waiting plus the Fifty Shades of Grey Series – Oh which to choose next??

My Husband eats books and he has already read the Hunger Games and is on to the Millennium series….. wonder if he will read Fifty Shades??? (he went out and especially bought them for me because they were Mummy Porn!! Go figure?)

Veronica June 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

I loved both the Millenium series and The Hunger Games. Both really enjoyable trilogies!

Suzie June 27, 2012 at 11:09 am

As with The Da Vinci Code I had to jump on the bandwagon and read it to find out what people were talking about. I made it through page 80 by skipping bits and pieces, I think the sex started on 81 but I gave up in disgust as the writing had me in horrors. I made it through the Da Vinci Code only because we were on holidays and I’d read all my books and all the kid’s books, I couldn’t make it any further through 50 Shades.

I don’t read romance so I can’t compare and my light reading is generally Gerald Durrell or fantasy. I read almost anything sci fi or fantasy and have developed a love for business books about a particular aspect of business rather than general books. I do read biographical books, as for trashy books? nup, I don’t have the time for them.

It has been interesting reading the comments here but it doesn’t change my mind.

megan June 27, 2012 at 11:51 am

I’ve only read the first one, waiting for someone to take pity on me & lend me the other 2..Yes badly written, but like you, pure escapism nothing else. I too took offence to the Mummy Porn tag that is being thrown around..erotica has been around for a long long time..get over it & get used to it I say! Nothing wrong with a trashy novel anyway..people watch trashy TV all the time.

Enid Bite'Em June 27, 2012 at 11:58 am

Hahahah. Yep, I’m a Judgy mcJudgerton on this one. Trash has its place, escapism is great, The Hunger Games I loved, but unfortunately I laughed several times when I read the free Grey excerpt from Random House. I obviously need to look elsewhere for my ‘trash’. When I was reading Grey I thought I was going mad – everybody else seemed to be in big grey love that week, so I’m glad for both perspectives. But I agree, the Mummy porn label is offensive, and who cares what anyone else reads. I think a world where nobody reads is a lot scary than a world that reads ‘trash’.

Jacquie June 27, 2012 at 1:02 pm

For what they are, I loved them! The characters only slightly resemble the twilight cast to me but hey I loved those books too. I agree that people are expecting too much from these books, they are what they are supposed to be.

alimartell June 28, 2012 at 5:53 am

I didn’t like them. REALLY didn’t like them. Enough to write an entire post about how much I didn’t like them.

But at the very tippy top of my post I put in a very loud disclaimer stating that if you love them, like them, or anything in between, that’s totally cool. Different strokes, right?

kathy June 29, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Now girls it’s only about 100 years since women were being treated for ‘hysteria’ which may or may not have the reason that the vibrator was invented.

I just got an invitation to the film of the same name at Hobart Eastlands next Wednesday and the invite said ‘feel free to pass it on to your friends’, sounds like you all need to go along… first in best dressed … here are the details and the website for RSVP
Hysteria
Based on true events in 1880 London, the handsome young Dr. Mortimer Granville (Hugh Dancy), a believer in modern medical theories, lands a position as the assistant to society doctor Robert Dalrymple. Dalrymple is a specialist in the female ailment “Hysteria” – a catch-all diagnosis that seems to be affecting half of England’s women! Their treatment involves a literal hands-on method, and demand becomes so great that Dalrymple and Mortimer cannot keep up with ‘curing’ women. To keep Mortimer working, Dalrymple promises him his business, and marriage to his beautiful, young daughter, (Felicity Jones). But when Mortimer falls for Dalrymple’s older and unconventional daughter Charlotte (Maggie Gyllenhaal), his future looks doubtful. In desperation, he invents a machine that will at least solve his medical challenges – the world’s first vibrator. In the delightful spirit of Calendar Girls, Hysteria takes a rather remarkable and daring true story and turns it into a gentle, warm-hearted comedy.

6.30pm, Wednesday 4th July
Village Cinemas Eastlands
RSVP here: http://rsvp.hopscotchfilms.com.au/RSVP/QantasTAS/

Recycled Relix - Cathy June 30, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Ok time for a Grey Update – I am 1/2 way through the first book and all I can say is I wish I didn’t have to work (I don’t think I could handle reading this book in the shop) plus I wish my son would go play somewhere else so I can attack my husband! Oh well…. maybe later

lee August 16, 2012 at 12:12 am

he might prefere it if you had sex with him instead

Samantha July 1, 2012 at 11:08 am

I get your opinion about ‘mummy porn’. So how about we just drop the ‘mummy’ bit and call it porn? And possibly not have it displayed so prominently where kids can get to it, because you wouldn’t do that with Playboy and if I remember correctly, this wasn’t erotica, this was explicit.

To be honest, after the third sex scene I started skipping them and it took very little time to read. And it was badly written. And he was a little emotionally abusive.

And I forgot where I was going with this.

Cham July 1, 2012 at 7:59 pm

hi there. i just came across your review. and you raised a lot of valid arguments right there. but to answer your question, yes, i actually found myself judging it. yep, judging it so hard. it came as offensive to me at some points. i thought it was just a pretty harmless trashy book at first, but things started to get worse when Anastasia was forcing herself to play his dirty games in the bedroom not because she liked it, but because she’s playing the martyr of some sort. and i did not like that it’s not the fact that it sublimely becomes a bad example to a lot of readers on how a woman should behave in a relationship. Ana is just everything we hate about Bella in Twilight. she’s not believable. she gets under your skin.

Becky July 2, 2012 at 11:30 am

I haven’t read all the comments, so this might be a repeat idea, but I actually feel pretty dang strongly about this subject.

Hold on, I have to arrange my soapbox.

Look, the book is porn. It has been my experience that the majority of men like their porn in a visual video-type format, and women like their porn in a written word type format. Maybe it’s classified as “erotica” because there are less pictures, but eh – same difference. Tomato, tomahto. The same tingly bits get all tingly, regardless if it’s labeled erotica, porn, or escapist fiction.

Do I care that people read it? Not really.

I read it just to see what all the hype was about – to be honest I’m a little disappointed/embarrassed that it’s one of the best selling books of all time. About halfway through I wanted to scream. IT’S JUST SEX, PEOPLE. GET OVER IT. It feels good, doesn’t it? It’s fun. NOW GO DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE. Do a crossword puzzle…. watch a movie… let your lady bits dry out for a second… yeesh.

Here’s where I get all fired up:

Why is it okay for women to like Fifty Shades of Grey, but not guys to like porn?

I keep seeing women talking about in Facebook…. why is it okay for them to talk about how much they loved the series…and yet if their husband made a post saying, “Wow, I *REALLY* loved the titties on that little blonde in Ultra Kinky Anal Girls! Can’t wait to see the next installment!” they’d probably freak out.

If I saw a guy sitting in a doctor’s office looking at Playboy I’d be offended…. yet why is it okay for us to sit there and read about Ana crawling up on top of Christian and f*cking him (the author’s choice of words, not mine.)

I agree with you that it’s escapist fiction – the main characters annoyed me too much to like it, but I could see why people would like it. But why…and I mean WHY is it okay for women to like escapist romance novels, and not for guys to like porn? How pissed off would a lot of wives be if they walked into the living room and “caught” their husbands watching porn on the computer… and yet we can sit there on the couch next to them and get our cheap thrills guilt-free?

It’s not the books that offend me. It’s the hypocritical women.

Veronica July 2, 2012 at 11:47 am

See, I hadn’t thought of that, specifically because I don’t have a problem with porn, in any of it’s forms. Really doesn’t bother me and I honestly think that porn in most cases is healthy for adults.

Would I be bothered if someone in a waiting room was reading Playboy? Yeah, probably – but only because it would be very hard to hide what they were looking at. Porn on an iPhone when no one else can see the screen or hear anything? Fine.

Norton DeSilva July 2, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I read about half of it. Left me cold. Mainly I guess cause:
1. I’m not the target market
2. I’m into some fairly heavy kink so found it a bit dull
But I don’t go around criticising the book and those who read it. Erotica is quite good and if it gets people talking and exploring boundaries its a good thing.
You hit the nail on the head, it’s escapism, and obviously popular escapism. No harm in that.

unvanillaesque July 2, 2012 at 5:50 pm

I’m the same as Norton De Silva above, in that I’m into some fairly heavy kink – specifically BDSM and this book was TAME (and a tad lame when it came to BDSM, you should have a read of what the BDSM community actually thought about it – it’s not at all complimentary).

I’ve read all three books and did so in the space of 3 days. I’ve since also reread them. Are they great works of literature? Absolutely not but then again James never professed to be a good writer, Fifty Shades was adapted from her Twilight FanFic writing – putting words on a screen, doesn’t make you a good writer.

As for people calling others out on reading them – meh. I sat on a full plane (right next to the toilets, so always had a line of people right next to me, watching me!), book out and proudly reading it, it was a lovely way to pass 4.5 hrs, even the stewardesses stopped and asked me about it and we had a good natter!

Veronica July 2, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I did read some of what the BDSM community thought and agree, they definitely weren’t complimentary! But I also agree, it was very very soft – some blogs are better!

Nick July 2, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I’m just a guy whose interested in getting this book for my fiance. So I’ve searched for reviews. I recently got into a heated debate with one of my fiance’s friends as to my assumption for this book’s popularity. Apparently, without having read one page of the book or a single review, I’ve hit the nail on the head with my assumption. It’s risqué. The whole “Mills&Boon in the apron pocket, don’t let the husband catch me reading it” thing. Women feel like men don’t want them to read this because we may think of them as slutty. Not really, guys just don’t generally get caught up in mainstream “Twilight” and find it silly. This brings me to another point. Why is it OK for girls/women to have this book to hold aloft and scream “sexual liberation!!!!”, but if a guy does the same with a Playboy, he’ll get pelted with tomatoes and branded sexist?

Veronica July 2, 2012 at 6:30 pm

It is risque, but I’m not sure what the issue is there – it was meant to be. Of course, I’ve got no problem with porn or erotica in any of its forms, so that is a non-issue for me.

For me, 50 Shades isn’t visual, so you’re not inflicting anything on anyone else if you’re reading it in the waiting room, whereas Playboy is visual and less private. Maybe mens magazines ought to come with brown paper covers and blinders instead?

Nick July 2, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I have no problem with risque either, I’m just pointing out the reason for the popularity. This book wouldn’t have been remotely successful if it was about anything other than sex.

I didn’t mean to come across as literally needing to go buy a Playboy (bad example by the way) and read it in a waiting room. Hypocrisy raises its head though, when guys are ridiculed for being perverts whilst staring at a pair of naked breasts.

Veronica July 2, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I’m not sure – Twilight was huge and there’s no sex there and by all accounts, the writing and story are just as bad. (Disclaimer: I’ve not read Twilight)

Also, again, I have no problem with porn in any of its forms, but I can see that there is hypocrisy coming from some quarters. Just not this one.

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