Get off my bloody lawn. (Still alive)

by Veronica on March 17, 2014

in Life

I don’t even know what I’m doing lately. Not on the Internet in any case. I read through the latest dramas, the fitspirations, the omgamazeballs sponsored crap and you know what? I’m just bored. It’s all the same. It’s all been done before and my eyes are jaded.

I’m tired, you guys. The Internet was my happy place for so long and now I feel like I’m too busy to sink in deep and let it envelope me properly. I dart between soap making forums, facebook, twitter, the blog and click away, run away.

Eve clings to my legs and I can’t type when she’s awake and I’m too busy when she’s asleep. I want to tell stories, but taking the children out of the blog – they’re getting too old, the bigger two at least – means I’m left only telling my stories and I feel like I’ve said everything in triplicate already.

Jaded. Tired. Mostly annoyed at the shiny new things playing on my goddamned Internet lawn.

(It’s all been done before)

(Even this)

I’m not leaving, no. Maybe changing direction. Working out where I want to go with this space.

I’m really enjoying the making things from scratch, but oh, it’s so much more work than pre-packaged things. I feel like I spend all day washing dishes, preparing food, washing dishes, making soap, washing dishes, feeding children, washing dishes. It’s perpetual chaos and don’t get me wrong, it’s the very best kind, but my spoons are limited and sometimes you can’t have them.

This isn’t much more than a whinge, a whine, a giant complain out into the ether.

But it’s also a heads up, that this space is metamorphosing (again), into something new.

I need to get my head back together, write more, play more, experiment more.

And maybe this means I’ll write about making soap from a newbie’s perspective for a bit.

I definitely want to do a year of making things from scratch, but I need to plot and plan this out. I also need to juggle the time I spend here, with time I could be spending writing articles to pitch elsewhere (Hey, did I tell you: Essential Kids published an article of mine?) which will actually pay my bills.

In summary, I’m tired, and this space is changing.

But tis all good.

 

Caroline March 17, 2014 at 10:04 pm

I’d be interested in a year of making things for scratch. i’d follow along with this for sure. something I’ve been putting off for too long. so far i’ve managed laundry liquid 😉
love your blog and can’t wait to see what the future holds 😀

Krista Petrauskas March 18, 2014 at 7:25 am

Peace be with you in your changing directions. VERY important that you do what makes you happy,fulfilled and enriches you.
Making changes in your domestic life brings unexpected rewards and inner changes once you get used to the new rhythms in your life.
The internet can eat your time up.The here and now, and the substance of your life and its meaningfulness, is more important than the blue nowhere.
Writing is your talent and getting paid for it makes a world of sense. Read Essential Kids – you were spot on.
When I think about what you have written it makes me think of music
Norah Jones
(http://mp3truck.net/play/VnFscktLVy1ad1k-209/norah-jones-change-is-gonna-come-original-song-from-wretches-jabberers-sndtrk.html)
I keep hearing Sam Cooke singing “a change is gonna come” Dylan and Joan Baez are there somewhere as well

Krista Petrauskas March 18, 2014 at 9:53 am

Correction : VERY important that, what you do, is what makes you happy, fulfilled and enriched.

tiff March 18, 2014 at 4:16 pm

hearing you. I hope your change brings you new enthusiasm for your blog.

river March 19, 2014 at 4:46 pm

“I’m really enjoying the making things from scratch, but oh, it’s so much more work than pre-packaged things. I feel like I spend all day washing dishes, preparing food, washing dishes, making soap, washing dishes, feeding children, washing dishes. It’s perpetual chaos and don’t get me wrong, it’s the very best kind, but my spoons are limited and sometimes you can’t have them.”

just like our grandmas and great grandmas did, except we don’t have to wear corsets and half a dozen petticoats, hand wash everything including coats, carry water from a well, stoke a wood fire stove even in the heat of summer to cook meals. So maybe a tad easier for you. I’m admiring you. Years ago I thought of doing similar, but didn’t get past cooking from scratch. Now I can’t be bothered. I still cook from scratch but not all the time.

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