When I was 34 weeks pregnant, we switched our bedroom and the study around.
However, I didn’t move my vibrator with me. Everything else got thrown into my knickers drawer, but sadly, my vibrator was left behind in the top cupboard. Hell, I was 34 weeks pregnant, the last thing I wanted to do was masturbate, so it wasn’t exactly on my list of priority things to remember move.
It languished up there alone for quite a while.
I didn’t even think about it because I was pregnant, then I was postpartum and THEN Eden Fantasys sent me a sex toy to review and the new sex toy was much quieter than the old vibrator and quiet is what you need when you are sleeping with a 3 sided cot up against your bed. Plus you know, once I wasn’t pregnant anymore, proper sex was back on the menu.
What I didn’t realise though? Was that my vibrator wasn’t exactly alone.
I had to venture into the top cupboard the other day when I was sorting clothes. You know what I found? My poor lonely vibrator. Surrounded by mouse crap.
I looked at it. I looked at the mouse crap. I looked at my vibrator again. Mice. MICE. They had been running all over my vibrator. Probably entertaining themselves with tiny mouse fantasies while they made more tiny mouse babies. Because you know, we all need MORE mouse babies.
I haven’t been game enough to get it down and wash it yet, let alone even fathom the thought of using it again. I may possibly have shut the cupboard door and ignored the whole situation.
*shudder*
God knows what those dirty little mice have been up there doing.
No wonder they look so damn smug when they skitter through the house.
Oh sorry, that’s pretty funny if a mite disgusting. Those crazy horny mice!
Karen MEGs last blog post..Moobage?
Well, if the mice become even more prolific, you’ll know why.
Also, ew.
Robin G.s last blog post..Male Readers Beware
No doubt they’re smug. Ew.
Hahahahaha. That is hilarious. Also just a little bit wrong and eewwww.
Just get rid of it. Truly. I think it’s better that way.
Alis last blog post..What? I’m completely coherent and rational
At least you didnt find any mouse porn up there or any used mouse condoms. That would really be gross
Suzies last blog post..Grandpa’s House
oh no! so gross!!!!!
ew, that is gross, kind of funny yet really gross.
Megans last blog post..The Easter Bunny is not Safe at my House
ew, ew, but, um, hilarious! Too too funny.
FishyGirls last blog post..Heavy
Mickey just couldn’t compete with Minnie’s new found love…
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Knots
Yuck. Throw it out and get a new one. I’m not even kidding. If you decide to keep it please don’t tell me.
Oh yuck… I’d buy a new one. Chuck the old one out.
am. completely. horrified.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
I can imagine their little mousy conversation:
Her: “Wow, Herbert, look at the size of THIS THING!”
Him: “It isn’t real, you know.”
Her: “I know, but its so…HUGE.” {Looks him up and down}
Him: “I’ll be at my brother’s.”
Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..Growing like weeds
Well, if you see a mouse running around with a big grin on her face and a shape vaguely reminiscent of the three-wheeled motorcycle, you’ll know why.
lceels last blog post..Not Well
Oh, Veronica. I wish I had a clever comment, but I’m laughing too hard.
Leslies last blog post..The Preacher Man
lmao, you made my day!
Tanyas last blog post..Kicking Peanut
There’ll be a huge slice of cheese waiting for you in front of the Pearly Gates, when you get there, for all the pleasure you’ve given those critters
Jaynes last blog post..Cheer, cheer the red and the white, trivial honour the name by history day and by April 15 night….
One should NEVER share a vibrator with mice. NEVER.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..In the land of Google… you’re never alone
Umm, eewwwwwwwwww!! Chuck it and buy a new one.
Joyce-Annes last blog post..Almost done
hahahahahahahaha! I’m telling my mice about it. Maybe they’ll leave my kitchen when they find out that the fun is at your house!
CKs last blog post..TWO’s house
I just had to come out of lurk mode for this one. The imagery is awesome.
anjas last blog post..Folding down the cage.
How many mice does it take to operate a vibrator?
frogpondsrocks last blog post..Around the world in 80 clicks.
eww to mice and mice poo..
definatly a new vibrator on the menu i think..
Well, on the bright side, if they stick with the vibrator at least they won’t get pregnant….Can you get tiny blow-up lady mice with appropriate orifices for the males? With a bit of luck this could bring a whole new meaning to Three Blind Mice lol!
LOVE the picture you posted there. Chuck the vibrator, you’ve got the new quieter one anyway.
Hahahahaha! Honey, I’d turf the vibrator …
Janet Bs last blog post..It’s been a while …
Ditch the vibrator. That doesn’t even bear thinking about. Yuck. have you still got the Edens Fantasy one? If not, get online and order yourself one – I’m sure they’d give you a discount for such a glowing review!
Barbaras last blog post..104/365 – Fairy Girls
Gross. This is unspeakably gross.
Ugh. Shudder. Ew.
I can not think of anything that would get me further from being ‘in the mood’.
Get a new ‘best friend’ – the old one will never know!
Beas last blog post..a billboard would be less obvious
Mice are gross, horny vibrating mice grosser still.
Definitely time for a new BOB (battery operated boyfriend)
tiffs last blog post..How do you raise awareness?