It was for your own good, Internet

by Veronica on December 13, 2011

in Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, My body is broken.

When I got to the point where the Internet became less escapism and more ‘holy fuck I’m going to stab myself in the eye’, that’s when I decided that right now, novels are safer and the Internet probably ought to fend for itself for a few days. So I took myself off the Internet, mostly ignored twitter and didn’t write anything.

I can’t guarantee that I am completely better right now, but I can guarantee that I know my limits and I will remove myself from the Internet before making sweeping statements regarding selfishness and arseholes.

So, there’s that.

Yesterday I spent sitting in the recliner, with the perfect amount of pillows propped under my left knee (my good knee, bastard luck) and supporting my shoulders, while I lamented the fact that I had only panadol for painkillering and trying not to cry. It was a bad day. It was a bad day in that it felt like I’d been chopped into pieces and put back together badly. A trapped tendon in my knee left me wondering if it was going to dislocate and dump me on the ground screaming first, or tear. It didn’t dislocate and doesn’t feel torn today, so I can only imagine that it has something else fun in store for me.

It was at the end of yesterday that I got incredibly grumpy about my response to pain meds and wondered if it would be worth feeling like I’d taken speed, in order to be able to function just a little bit. In the end, I went to bed and sulked, knowing that sleeping overnight was more important than being pain free and writing a blog post, or eating something.

So that’s what I did.

Today is better, tomorrow will hopefully be better again.

Zelda December 13, 2011 at 12:22 pm

**hugs**

tiff December 13, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Hoping each day gets better. Sending love and healing vibes xx

Stimey December 13, 2011 at 1:22 pm

So sorry. I hope tomorrow *is* better. Love to you.

Marylin December 13, 2011 at 8:49 pm

*hugs*

That’s all I’ve got the energy for at the mo. Max woke us up at 3am for the day, my period started, and Max’s nursery won’t let him stay the last 30 minutes of his ALLOCATED TIME so I can see Zack’s Christmas concert.

However, it all kind of pales into insignificance once I’d read this.

Love ya xx

Matrassen December 13, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Hello, I think you need a new nice mattress:) I enjoy your blog, keep it coming 😛

Grtz from Holland!

river December 13, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Hugs from me too.
And chocolate pudding.
Because everything is better with chocolate pudding.

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