Miscarriages and anniversaries and I’m just all kinds of introspective

by Veronica on November 27, 2012

in Life

It was our anniversary yesterday.

A year ago yesterday we got married. A year ago today, I started to miscarry. A year ago tomorrow, I lost a baby. It’s a strange time of year. Introspective, but not sad. Maybe if I didn’t have Evelyn, I’d be sad, but I do and everything that happened a year ago was the lead up to falling pregnant with her. The pregnancy that failed paved the way for the pregnancy that succeeded and here we are, twelve months on.

We spent the day doing not very much at home. Nathan watered the new trees that we’ve put in, carrying buckets backwards and forwards all over our paddock. Isaac ran around, ending the day on an incredibly festive spirit by colouring his face in green and red. Amy cried, tired after a long Monday at school and Evelyn slept. I did a bit of everything, including more words on my current WIP.

If you look over into the sidebar you can see that I completed NaNoWriMo with days to spare. A week to spare in fact. I’m rather proud of myself, because November hasn’t exactly been a stress free month. If you’re interested, my novel synopsis can be found here. Feel free to tell me how much you like it, I’m currently running on a mix of chocolate and ego and my ego meter needs refilling.

I’m enjoying the writing. Fiction is a lot of fun, harder in some ways, but a lot easier in others. My characters have rather nicely taken over and are currently running the show – I’m just the one writing it down for them. I reckon it will finish up somewhere around 100k words, but we’ll see.

In any case, nothing new is happening. Evelyn continues to twitch. Two weeks ago she started holding her head up when she was on her tummy. That lasted a whole two days (long enough for the Paed to see it, at least) before she lost that skill. Her vision seems to be getting a bit better, unless she’s tired or upset, or there is too much background “noise”. (I think I’ve said this. Recently in fact. Am I repeating myself? I repeat, reality is a bit warpy when I’m writing fiction.)

So she’s back to trying to eat the floor when she’s on her tummy. No signs of rolling over yet, nor can she grasp toys yet, or hold onto things. We’ll get there, it’s just a slow process. We see the neurologist again in a bit over a fortnight, so hopefully he has some ideas for us by then.

In summary:

I love my husband still; having a small baby makes having a miscarriage a year ago not that sad; I win at NaNo and am entirely awesome; and the baby is still odd- adorable, but odd.

How are you? What’s going on in your November that I have missed? Fill me in. (And yes, I mean YOU. If you’re reading here, I’d like to know how your month has been. Stop second guessing yourself. I honestly want to know. Tell me your stories.)

{ 22 comments }

Mindy November 27, 2012 at 9:41 am

Wow, that synopsis gave me chills! Really looking forward to getting my hands on the finished product.

Happy Anniversary. I have been enjoying Evelyn’s baby photos this November and thinking I must find someone with a baby I can cuddle. It has been too long between baby snuggles.

Dorothy @ Singular Insanity November 27, 2012 at 9:49 am

I’m in awe of anyone who can write fiction. My poor attempts in high school were enough to send me running for the hills of non-fiction. And then it only took me fifteen years of business writing for a bureaucracy to realise that I could write anything else.

What’s been happening? Trying to wean off meds without self-desctructing and getting my writing mojo back.

Happy anniversary :-)

Carly Findlay November 27, 2012 at 9:58 am

Good for You re your novel! Well done especially during a stressful month. I do hope Evelyn continues to make progress. And happy anniversary to you.

My November? I’ve had sore skin for about four weeks now. When will it ever end? I cannot describe the pain. I’ve been in hospital. Back at work this week. A boy broke my heart when I was in hospital. Friends came to visit me too. I have good friends. Meanwhile I’ve done the Nanowrimo bloggers challenge, writing a post everyday. Pretty proud of this month’s writing efforts. Especially today’s post. And I saw my favourite singer on Friday night. He was so lovely, and his wife/manager loves my blog. That’s all.

Jen November 27, 2012 at 10:20 am

I’m proud of you doing your fiction writing with all that’s been going on. That’s awesome.

I’ve had a super busy November parenting, preparing & presenting a social media workshop on top of my day job, preparing and participating in a wedding. I really should write more about this on my blog.

Give that baby of yours a big kiss and a hug from me.

Kathy November 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Wooot to you on NaNo. It feels good, doesn’t it? I missed it terribly this year :-(

November has been calmer than August-October work-wise, although still plenty of steady jobs coming in. Socially it’s been very busy indeed and it likely to get more so before Christmas. I have injured my back, and yesterday I fell over on the concrete at the kids’ school, which did something not nice to my wrist. So, yeah, the hurtiness.

Also, I have decided to publish a book of poetry in the new year, and I talked you into coming over to Melbs next winter for the Emerging Writers Festival, so those things make me happy :-)

Nic November 27, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Big congrats for your anniversary :-)

My November has involved a restructure at work and a sore hip that is not repairable. But I still have a job and Christmas is nearly here :-)

river November 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Happy Anniversary.
I haven’t gone over to read your synopsis yet, I’ll do that on the weekend when I have more time, but congratulations on finishing ahead of time. That’s awesome!
My own November hasn’t been too bad, things go along quietly here, as always, but I do have that allergy cough that I had last year as this time, (I thought I’d caught bird flu, you might remember), the constant coughing is driving me nuts, but stronger medication is easing it a bit. Just not fast enough to suit me.

Marylin November 27, 2012 at 10:26 pm

That sounds like a book I’m going to want to read!
My November has been full of tears and angst and that general “why me???” feeling. Max’s lack of sleeping has got me to the end of my tether and I cracked.
Luckily the doctor yesterday really listened. Honest to god LISTENED. I think the fact that my mum pressed a copy of the post I’d written at the weekend for the doc to read helped.
So now I’m rattling from pills, but a combo of them starting to work (they’re quick release… yay!) and the sheer relief of finally being heard seems to be helping me stabilise a bit more.
Today I actually noticed the way the early morning sun hit the hills in the distance. I’ve been so withdrawn lately I didn’t even realise I wasn’t noticing anymore.
So onwards and upwards, right?
*hugs* x

Laura November 28, 2012 at 2:04 am

Happy anniversary :))

November has been good! Schools coming to an end so no extra muruals – YAY! No homework – YAY! We figured out whats wrong with Kiara – YAY!

Ok enough YAYing :)) It has been a good month. We are now full steam ahead into Christmas!

Megan November 28, 2012 at 2:09 am

My November has been pretty laid backed. Wrote a bit, did some educational reading, but mostly had a lazy month as I left one of the two jobs I was working to be able to begin building a business, the hard work for that I will be starting in about a week so my November got to be mostly stress free. Now to but a deadline on my own novel that I have been working on for four years.

butterfliesrfun November 28, 2012 at 2:47 am

Happy Anniversary!

Would love to read your novel!

BubbleGirl November 28, 2012 at 3:25 am

I’m around 20 weeks pregnant right now, and this month has been full of dislocations. I’ve dislocated my pelvis 3 times now, and my shoulder’s been out for over 2 weeks. It’s just too loose to stay in its socket. But, I have an apparently healthy little monster using my bladder as a trampoline, and I’m very much looking forward to meeting her. After 5 years of trying for a baby, I was feeling ready to give up.

Yesterday was the 6th anniversry of my father’s passing, and it really struck me this year, being pregnant, how much he’ll never have a chance to see. It hurts, but the support of other family members and friends is getting me through.

I’m so proud of your writing ability! I’ve had story ideas, but when I try to turn them into words, they kind of go *poof* and run away.

Pamela November 28, 2012 at 5:10 pm

wow, well done.

christina November 28, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Happy anniversary :)
My November has been family visits, toddler highs and lows, getting to know my newborn, learning how to parent 2 kids and mastitis.
I love your synopsis – I would read that book xx

Brooke - Little Miss Moi November 28, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Hi Veronica – glad to hear that little Evelyn sounds slightly better than last time I checked in to your blog. She is adorable – oddorable maybe? At the moment, I am in a weird place… 4.5 months into living in South East Asia’s poorest country, and I can’t read most blogs because they just kill my eyes. They seem too trivial. And that’s not a reflection on the writer, that’s just a reflection on where my head is at the moment. I was gifted a Kindle, fell back in love with reading after a year away, got cranky at how crap some books are (that I wasted money on) and after a fit of “I can do better myself” I am now one week into my own unofficial NaNoWriMo – 26K words. Obviously I have much to say. I doubt that it’s quality, but after a lifetime of telling myself I couldn’t write a book, I’m finding that it’s just as enjoyable as reading. So I’m in a good place. Thanks for asking xx

Leslie November 29, 2012 at 5:12 am

You’ve had an action-packed year. Congrats on NaNoWriMo and your anniversary!

Chelsie November 29, 2012 at 6:14 am

I really, really, really want to read the finished product! That sounds like just my kind of read. And I’m super intrigued where that story could go long term. My November has been hard for any number of reasons, but mostly I hate being so far from my family. (My husband is in the military and we are stationed 2200 miles from our family. My youngest sister has a pregnancy that is not going too well and today is going in for an amnio to see if they can figure out what is causing all of her sons very serious problems. But I am healthy and have everything I need, so I am thankful for all that I have been given.

Anne November 29, 2012 at 6:40 am

Congrats on your anniversary! :)

Well done on the writing, too! :)

November has been so-so … just been getting through each day and looking forward to summer and lovely warm days :)

Megan November 29, 2012 at 8:06 am

Congrats on NaNo – I’m liking the sound of your novel & look forward to reading it. Happy anniversary too. My month has been ordinary, had a falling out with a friend, have a sore sore shoulder, kids are tired & cranky & giving me the shits…looking forward to Christmas…kinda… oh & it;s too hot already down here – & I don’t have a pool!!! WAAAA!!

Lindie November 29, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Last Thursday my oldest granddaughter called me to tell me she is expecting. She was 7 weeks along and we pray she will carry the baby all the way. She is so excited. She is 26 and the doctors told her that it was unlikely she could have a baby because of her severe endometreosis. She is the oldest of 6 and didn’t want a baby for a long time since she had an active hand in helping raise the younger 3. But now she would like several. Say a prayer or cross your fingers.

MultiBlogginMum November 30, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Well done on the win.
Congratulations on your Wedding Anniversary.

My November?

Hmm the month of November is the worst month around …. since 2005 that is.

This year we had the 7th Anniversary of the loss of my gorgeous healthy 11.5 year old son.
He went to bed on the 19th of November, watched Harry Potter – the very first time it was on tv – and he never woke up again. :(
Healthy children should not die.
No children should die.

So in all honesty I really do not like November as it is a horrid month of memories for us.
Id do anything to have my handsome son with us now…

Hoping answers are found soon for your gorgeous baby girl.

Happy Elf Mom December 2, 2012 at 12:08 am

I’m so glad you and Nathan had this day a year ago. You are all of you a very beautiful family. I can imagine your grandmother would be very proud of the way you have run things and dealt with little Evie’s medical crises. I almost think it would be nice if you could spend a few days in the hospital with the camera on in the main room so that as things changed they would SEE IT. Might even save money in the long run. I know things don’t work that way, I just wish they did.

Here we have been dealing with the flu and Emperor has been winning chess games and G made a big heavy chair in woodworking class. And it is nearly winter. :)

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