I was half way through my shower today, when I spotted my razor on the wall.
Hmmmm. I thought. I haven’t done any maintenance in a while. Maybe I ought to look into that.
Sure, my razor was a little blunt and I probably ought to buy a new head for it, but what the hell I figured, I’ll work carefully.
Just as I started, the bathroom door flew open and in crawled Isaac at the speed of light.
Hmmmph. ‘Hello kid.’
‘Here-ya!’ He demanded, passing me a face washer from the floor.
Nathan followed him in shortly, smirking, and I glared at the both of them until they left.
Back to what I was doing, I was contorted in an awkward position when Amy raced in. I quickly changed to shaving my legs and she didn’t notice.
‘Hi kid. What do you want?’
‘I needa use the potty.’
‘Oh. Okay. Quickly then.’
She left and I went back to what I was doing.
Now, the upside of being bendy is that I can see bits of myself that you probably can’t, meaning that shaving is more sight-work and less guess-work.
The downside of being bendy is that my skin is so fragile, I have to be incredibly careful not to tear great chunks of skin out. Which, incidentally, I have done before, leaving a 4 inch long and inch wide gash down my shin. My shower looked like a scene from Psycho that day.
So, I’m contorted into an awkward position, again, half upside down and moving carefully. I wasn’t really prepared to see a mouse run under the washing machine. Luckily I didn’t start jumping up and down trying to schwack it while I was still contorted.
As a side note, we bought new shampoo and conditioner yesterday. Apparently it has a ‘cooling’ action or something, anyway, I didn’t pick it out.
You can see where this is going.
No matter how careful I am, the fragility of my skin means I cut myself numerous times shaving anyway.
And we’ll add that to some distractions.
And ‘cooling action’ conditioner, still in my hair while I was shaving.
Maybe it would have been pleasant for a hard core masochist. Me, not so much.
Laugh all you want, it will be your turn next time.
So for this Easter, I wish you undistracted showers, sharp razors and conditioner that doesn’t make your girly bits feel like you dunked them in mouthwash.
A basket full of eggs and a pleasant weekend would also be nice for everyone.