On trust issues and labour

by Veronica on July 23, 2012

in Pregnant. Finally.

I have pre-hospital nerves. This shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. My good experiences with the doctors at the hospital can be counted on one hand and having a gentically rare condition that went undiagnosed for years doesn’t help.

Being told that you’re faking illness when you’re not, tends to lend a certain level of distrust to any further medical interactions.

It’s hard, knowing that I am going to give birth sometime soon and not entirely trusting the team that I may end up with. For the two births I’ve had, one was a disaster and one was amazing. Both of these were due to the medical team that was part of the proceedings.

I’m writing this, just to get it out of my head. If I can talk through my distrust of the entire medical system, then maybe I can get over it enough to stop stressing about going into the hospital when I go into labour. Maybe I can move past it and relax enough to let my body do what it wants to do.

I’m sure it will be okay. This is my third baby and I know what I am doing. I am also not a teenager anymore, being popped into the “naughty girl” box.

I’m sure it will be fine. I just needed to talk about it.

Peskypixies July 23, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Talk away.


Jessiebean AKA Thrifty Mama July 23, 2012 at 1:34 pm

i know where you are coming from, I haven’t the background that you do but I am prepared for a battle to have the birth I want. Many people just do what they are told and many caregivers in the hospital system aren’t prepared to be questioned or told no. I, like you am sure I will be fine (I have a fully briefed husband prepared to battle for my rights!) but I can’t help feeling slightly apprehensive and battle ready anyway.

Alannah Shore (luvbooks) July 23, 2012 at 7:00 pm

My third labour was the best of four….sending such vibes to you! Is that the cot up against your bed? If it is, I love that you are co-sleeping…much better than getting up and going to another room in the cold….not that I really have that problem in Central QLD, but I loved bed-sharing! I also love the smell of Lux on freshly washed baby clothes. To help the pre-baby nerves, have you written a birthplan to be (hopefully) included in your hospital chart?

Veronica July 23, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Yep, that’s the cot up against our bed. Co-sleeping has made my life so much easier in the past, so I’m not even bothering with a bassinet this time.

river July 23, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Awww, cute little baby clothes! And the cot is ready too. All you need now is the baby.
I had the bassinet next to my bed too, until the baby slept through the night, then it was moved to the end of the bed. Once my babies were big enough for the cot, they were all sleeping pretty much from bedtime to 6am so they went to their own room.

Denyse July 23, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Sure does make me feel happy for you & Nathan seeing those pictures. The blog is yours, to tell your fears and your stores. We are always ready to hear you. Denyse x

Happy Elf Mom July 25, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I don’t care if you are a “naughty girl” or not. You should not have been treated that way! But I think you are right that that is very unlikely to happen to you again. It’s just a scary time that will be followed by a very GOOD time with much cuteness to share. 🙂

Ali July 25, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Well, I can relate to this, I’ve been so abused by the medical system. My life is a long stream of misdiagnoses, disbelief, mistreatment and outight abuse. By the time I got to pregnancy number 3 I was almost ready to go for a homebirth and even had a hospital midwife who was willing to support that choice (and allow me to pretend it was accidental) and attend me at home. I chose not to, however I was at home within two hours of a wonderful water birth and it worked out beautifully. I think it was because Beefy and I had a clear idea of what we wanted, he knew what to say, how to protect me from interference and I also just lucked out and got into the low intervention/early discharge/midwife only program and got allocated an amazing middie. With number 3 I understood completely what my body could do, what birthing was like for me, what I wanted etc and focused myself on those thoughts in the lead up to labour. I was relaxed because I knew that no matter how vulnerable I was during labour, Beefy would guard me and would pretty much carry me out of the hospital mid-labour if he thought I was at risk of unnecessary intervention. Always remember that even though you’re on their turf, you are the boss. You and Nathan get to decide and no matter what anyone says, you can do this. You know that your body can do it and your body also knows. It remembers, your contractions will be more efficient, your labour will progress more smoothly because it’s done it all before. I’ve been told a half hour before giving birth that I wasn’t coping and should consider pain relief as I had hours to go yet, I’ve been told I’ll be labouring all night only to give birth two hours later. If you believe the stuff they throw at you your body will respond, if you believe that you are in control and get yourself in that zone where you ride out each contraction and focus on what your body is doing, shutting everything else out, then they won’t have a chance to intervene in any way. You have the right to refuse any and all interventions (including internals). Just make sure you and Nathan are an inseparable team, focus on each other, shut it all out and trust that he will take charge and protect you if you need it. It’s going to be a wonderful birth and a short and relaxed labour. You’re going to be great.

Allison July 26, 2012 at 10:19 pm

If you are concerned about your birth team, have you considered taking a Doula with you?

Also, I love the cot sidecar, nothing nicer than newborn snuggles, and the ability to just move them over when you are done without getting out of bed.

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