I originally posted this on MySpace, but I felt that it deserved a little air, so here it is!
Ok so with all the hoo haa about attachment parenting and it’s set guidelines on how to be an “attached mother” I have decided to post why I am most obviously NOT an attached mother. I know that most “attached mothers” parent quite similarly to myself but I am sick of having the small percentage of militant mothers tell me that I’m not attached because if a few thing I do.
Right here we go-
I DO NOT demand feed my baby! – My baby does not demand a feed, she merely suggests (in her own little way) that we would all be happier if I just gave her a feed. Hence it is not a demand feed.
I have and use bottles! – I own 3 bottles, one is in the bathroom and I use it to wash Amy’s hair. One has a lid on it and rice in it which Amy liked to shake and the final bottle is in my kitchen. I use it to measure liquids because I don’t have a measuring jug.
Amy sleeps in a cot! – Yes that’s right, you heard me correctly Amy has her very own cot. It has 3 sides and it adjoins my double bed- BUT it is a cot and she will sleep in it until 5am, such a pity she still wakes every hour.
I have and use a stroller and pram! – Amy loves her pram, she sleeps in it of a daytime. It takes a walk of exactly 1.4km to put her to sleep in it and she makes broooom broooom noises the whole time. I use a stroller when I go out shopping because my back is just not strong enough to carry Amy and the shopping. I do seem to end up carrying Amy and pushing the shopping quite often though hmmmm.
I use a dummy! – Yes god forbid I use one of those AWFUL silicone soother thingies. She doesn’t use it of a daytime, only during the night and only for 2-3 mins after I put her down from a feed. Then she spits it out. It does save my sanity in that it keeps her asleep while I put her down and keeps her settled as I either roll over and go back to sleep, or go back to whatever I was doing in the loungeroom.
I let my baby cry! – For 2 minutes while I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair. For 30 seconds while I turned the stove off and put the pots on a cold hotplate. For 1 minute while I went to the toilet. I did try letting her cry herself to sleep once but she cried so hard that she vomited, so I was left with a inconsolable, miserable baby. She also was incredibly clingy the next day and screamed everytime I left the room for a month!
I use disposable nappies! – As do most mothers, I am on tank water so even if I was motivated enough to remember to wash nappies each day (which I’m NOT) I don’t actually have the water to wash nappies. YAY for disposable nappies, oh and YAY for baby wipes. These miraculous things can wash dirty faces, clean snotty noses, remove the stick from sticky hands, remove food from my clothes, get rid of baby vomit AND clean dirty bums. Miraculous I tell you.
And last but not least
I breastfeed to a schedule! – Ok so I’m not the one who sets the schedule, but I’m sure it’s a schedule of some sort. Amy is just the one who sets it. See no.1 Demand Feeding for more info.
{ 2 comments }
Hey! Everyone is in bed early for a change so I thought I’d go back and read your earliest entries. I love this post. I wrote an article for a magazine once, similar to this. I tried letting him sleep in a crib and letting him cry, but that ended up the same as you – he always cried till he puked! Since then I’ve always slept with him, and I did carry him in a carrier until he was just too heavy – which happened young, never used a dummy, fed “on demand” whatever that means, but I used bottles (couldn’t breastfeed for very long), which cut me out of the attached parent club, even though I made my own organic formula from the best ingredients on earth. And I definitely used a stroller too – HELLO, my kid weighed 30 lbs and was 32″ tall on his first birthday! I appreciate the “attachment parenting” thing, but there’s a snobbery about it which is unfair, as it just doesn’t work for everyone.
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I think all that you do is fine. I just a dummy all the time during the day and not and she loves it. I use sippy cups so she can get more water and I use the pram because she loves going on walks and she is getting heavy so I can not always just hold her. And I do let her sleep in her own crib.
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