The Deranged Tooth Fairy

by Veronica on April 18, 2008

in Animals

When I was a teenager, we had a bad mouse plague one winter.

I was sleeping inside at the time, on a mattress on the floor of my brothers bedroom. He was about 8 at the time and my bus/caravan had no power and therefore was too icy cold to sleep in. Something about waking up to frost INSIDE the windows made me want to give up my privacy for warmth.

The mouse plague was so bad that if you shook the curtains, mice would fall out of them. It was BAAAAD.

Anyway, one night I was trying to sleep and suddenly the cat started going stupid and running up and down my legs.

I assumed it was a mouse (hell, I was completely desensitised by then) and so I started shaking out the blankets. The cat pounced, the mouse squeaked and I heard crunching nomming noises.

Satisfied that the mouse was dead, I promptly fell back asleep, after first reminding myself to be careful where I trod if I had to get up.

There is nothing better than treading on a mouse liver in bare feet. NOOOOOTHING better.

After sleeping all night (yes! I actually used to sleep! all night!) I woke in the morning and got up for school. Eventually, I was looking for something (think messy teenager) and looked under my pillow.

Lo and behold, there was a second mouse! Dead! Under my pillow!

I had slept on a dead mouse.

It was even squashed flat.

Obviously I went to school and told my friends about it. I’m classy like that.

One friend suggested that maybe the cat lost a tooth.

M – ‘Maybe your cat lost a tooth.’

V – ‘And the mouse was actually a present for the cat!’

M – ‘Well, cats don’t exactly need money’

V – ‘It can’t have been a good tooth, the mouse was very flat and very dead. Pretty pathetic gift if you ask me’

M – ‘Did you feed it to the cat?’

V – ‘Yup, I just had to wiggle it a bit and she thought it was alive’

M – ‘See?’

M – ‘Or maybe you lost a tooth and the tooth fairy was actually just messing with your head’

V – ‘A deranged tooth fairy’

M – ‘Nice.’

witchypoo April 18, 2008 at 12:59 am

That? It was a great story.
I don’t believe I would ever be desensitized to mice. I leave them potent poison, and when it runs out, I leave them some more. Did you have a nice hungry snake around to eat some of them?

witchypoo’s last blog post..Grammie’s Present

jessica April 18, 2008 at 1:24 am

That is disgusting. Cheers to you for living through it!

We have a scourge of these hideous creatures called box elder bugs and i feel like moving across town. i can’t imagine what it would be like if we had MICE. Yuck.

That being said, the conversation with your friend about “Maybe the cat lost a tooth” made me actually laugh out loud.:)

jessica’s last blog post..Try them out Thursday! 4.3.08

Jenty April 18, 2008 at 1:40 am

Oh gross!!
PMSL! rather you than me.

Jenty’s last blog post..Seaside here we come!

Suzie April 18, 2008 at 2:10 am

NO WAY! Oh yuck! As someone dealing with my own mice troubles you have put it in perspective. The shaking the curtain thing is a quiet an image.

Suzie’s last blog post..Potty Water

Marylin April 18, 2008 at 3:05 am

LOL now that’s a story! We had mice in one of the flats I lived in as a student… now we just have beetles… *shudder*

Marylin’s last blog post..13 Things I Love About Zack

Xbox4NappyRash April 18, 2008 at 4:58 am


You probably followed up by skinning it for a fur coat for a ‘Barbie’ or a big hat for ‘Russian Ken’

Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..So, God IS a woman…

Ree April 18, 2008 at 5:46 am

I was mucking out the barn one day and shoved the pitchford into the straw….heard squeaks…and came up with two mice. Ewwww.

Ree’s last blog post..Just Another Day in Hotfessional-land.

Hyphen Mama April 18, 2008 at 5:49 am

Okay. I just might have to stop reading your blog. NOT because you aren’t a great writer and story teller, but because I get SO HUNG UP on things you write about that for the entire next 24 hours I can’t stop thinking about it. I find myself scouring the internet for information about Tasmania: the soil content, the number of frog species, the date the last Aborigine lived there, the population. Completely consumes my brain. Yes, I need a hobby, apparently.
Today’s brain fodder: being okay with shaking mice from curtains.

Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..100 Thing About Me–3rd Act

julie April 18, 2008 at 5:52 am

My cousin was at her boyfriend’s apartment and stepped on a glue trap. With a not dead yet mouse stuck to it. It stuck to her foot, and she could feel the mouse wiggling. Yuck. I hate mice.

julie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen

Lou April 18, 2008 at 6:19 am

I like the notion that cats don’t need money so the Tooth Fairy (they’re real, you know) leaves a mouse instead. Very intelligent Tooth Fairy. And obviously a cat lover. Because normally, they only do humans. (Read into that what you may.)

Lou’s last blog post..Wordless(y) Wednesday Plus Bath

Jennifer April 18, 2008 at 6:57 am

This post will give me nightmares for months. Thanks!

Jennifer’s last blog post..Athlete’s Face

frogpondsrock April 18, 2008 at 7:46 am

I giggled when you told me this story then..

I am giggling now as well. hehehehehe

frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Mystery Object #3

Memarie Lane April 18, 2008 at 8:00 am

Mouse livers are great for healthy cuticles. I swear.

Memarie Lane’s last blog post..Celebrating Every Baby

Taz April 18, 2008 at 8:33 am

eww gross.. lol

cute story though..

Taz’s last blog post..25 weeks old

katef April 18, 2008 at 10:51 am

oh man and I thought our millipede plague was gross! LOL
The tooth fairy really is deranged too you know… she got greedy and wanted three of my Zoe’s front teeth all in one hit, and years before they should have come out too. Greedy little vixen!

katef’s last blog post..Follow-up

Anja April 18, 2008 at 12:23 pm

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. *shudders* Mice falling out of the curtains, yick.

I found myself internally cheering at the cat nomming on the mouse.

Deranged tooth fairy… that’s gold!

Anja’s last blog post..Hot Hunk Thrust-day

Bettina April 18, 2008 at 4:47 pm

I was reading then re-reading your opening thinking “well if she didn’t sleep inside then where the hell did she sleep usually?”

great story! lol

Bettina’s last blog post..Guardian?

Sarcastic Mom April 19, 2008 at 12:34 am

Mouse liver first thing in the morning is my FAVE!

Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..Don’t act like it’s never happened to you.

Cassie April 19, 2008 at 2:23 am

That would definitely be one deranged tooth fairy! If it had happened to me, I probably would have had a heart attack! Rodents are not my friend.

Cassie’s last blog post..Happy Birthday Furbaby!

HRH April 19, 2008 at 7:00 am

hahaha. I love this. I used to live in such a place. We had to hang even underwear up or else it became mouse nest. But, I never had a dead one under my pillow…you got me there.

HRH’s last blog post..I have a winner…

tiff April 19, 2008 at 6:52 pm

but funny, very funny

tiff’s last blog post..“Davey Oliver”

Cat April 19, 2008 at 6:54 pm

Ergh, that’s gross. Something similar happened to my mum once – the standing on a mouse’s body – but it was covered in ants, even grosser!

Once at Kapooka (basic recruit training for the army) when we were out bush another guy and I couldn’t get to sleep as we kept hearing noises and thought it was an enemy party settling into position before they attacked. We worked out in the morning it was most likely just a mouse when a) we weren’t attacked, b) a mouse had chewed through a packaged biscuit of mine and c) a mouse had chewed through someone’s pack of baked beans!

Gross, gross, gross.

Cat’s last blog post..Reserves and meeting goals

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