Amy emerged from my bedroom this morning with cries of ‘TREASURE! Treasure! Look! I found treasure under your pillow!’
Before I looked around, I knew what she had.
My vibrators.
Now, let me clarify why there were vibrators (plural) under my pillow.
My little egg vibe that I loved, died a sad death around 12 months ago. I was left with a small vibe that vibrates hard enough to make my teeth rattle and a regular sized vibrator that is absolutely no good for external stimulation.
On top of that, my cymbalta seems to have the added benefit of making an orgasm practically impossible to reach. I’m sure I could get there, you know if I had 6 hours in which to work up to it. Not a chance baby. It’s a cruel kind of tablet that doesn’t kill your sex drive, just your ability to finish successfully.
So, last night I grabbed down my vibe-to-make-your-teeth-rattle and tried to get there with that.
No luck, too strong.
So I got out of bed, hunted around for my regular vibe (which turns down to barely there vibrations, but rattles like a mother fucker) and tried with that.
No luck. Again.
So I tried manually, until my wrist fell apart and I was left frustrated and tired and STILL not there.
No luck.
I decided that maybe it was because I could hear the TV still – Nathan was still awake. I got out of bed, grumpily turned down the TV and looked at the clock. I’d been in bed for nearly 90 minutes and I still wasn’t satisfied.
I tried some more and finally, I gave up, unsatisfied. I cleaned up the vibrators with the antibacterial wipes I keep in the bedroom, shoved them under my pillow and still hmmmphing, I fell asleep.
I forgot about the vibrators until this morning, when Amy came out of the bedroom gleefully shouting about her yellow and blue treasure.
I quickly whipped them out of her hands and went and stashed them back in my (very high) cupboard, mentally berating myself for forgetting to do that earlier.
Hi. My name is Veronica and it’s been too long since my last orgasm and I really need a lockable bedside table. Also I fail to learn from past mistakes.
***
Anyone else have the same issues with anti-anxiety meds and does anyone have any suggestions for fixing it?!
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This is a common side effect with a few different anti-depressive meds.
Talk to your GP about an alternative or how long he expects you to remain on the meds and what your options could be.
If the meds are working you might have to accept the trade off.
Jayne, that’s my plan. I’m pretty sure that my GP will be able to suggest an alternative for me.
No suggestions but plenty of empathy. I’ve had similar problems with a few types of meds, just seems to be one of the trade offs unfortunately.
Hope you can find a more suitable med & Amy’s treasure hunting days are numbered! BG Xx
Yep, I’ve had the problem. And I’ve had the problem with some that also killed the sex drive. The first problem seems to get better but not fixed over time. The second didn’t for me but does for some people. It can help to lower the dose slightly (which I think a lot of doctors don’t know) and some people go to an every other day regiment.
I do love that you’re so comfortable with telling us everything. I’m wondering if I’ll ever have the guts.
Thanks for the laugh, so sorry to hear about the side-effects. I know there is an anti-depressant called Wellbutrin that has much lower risk of sexual side effects but is not as effective for the pan.
Thanks guys
Rachael – I promised that I would be as honest as I could be when I started blogging. A lot of things don’t get blogged because of other people’s privacy issues, but mostly, I’m truthful. Being honest about the good stuff is easy, but the other stuff, the untalked about stuff, well that’s harder. But I also figure it’s the things we need to talk about and that need to be written about. If that means I talk about Amy finding my vibrators and a complete lack of orgasms, well then, so be it!
I had the same problem after taking antidepressant/anti-anxiety meds early last year. I feel your pain. I stopped taking them because of it and now my O’s are still not the same
if you fix the prob please let me know!
Hehe. Don’t mean to laugh but dude you seriously need to lock away your ahem toys. Hehe.
hehe shame about the too long, but we all know amy would get into them. oh . hmmm we need you some good adult stores.
hehe : 0 )
You might need to explain to Amy how one works. Tell her it’s a very adult-like device and at her age she shouldn’t be playing with things like that.
How would you respond to studies that show that “vibrators ruin one’s sex drive when the real sex comes along”?
I guess it may affect the specialness of real sex but I never thought about it until now.
Well that’s not the post I was expecting!
We’ve had a similar problem, not the finishing but the lockable drawer. Lube really needs to go up high. I don’t know if this is a silly question, but can Nathan help before your wrist falls apart?
Wow thanks for the honesty! For me? The number one thing that works for me while doing DIY is fantasy. Epic fantasy. Like as in before I even go there, I spend at least 15 mins thinking up a movie theme, a location, what it looks like, what it smells like, who is there etc. The bigger the fantasy the better the pay off. As for vibrators ruining the ‘real’ sex…um – who says you’re not allowed to use ‘em when the real sex happens?
I have dumped many a new antidepressant which killed my sex drive or ability to orgasm. I can tell you that a combination of Nortryptiline (super old antidepressant) and Klonopin has worked very well for depression and anxiety without sexual side effects, but that I am stuck using them for life due to dependency (which is different from addiction). My GP has also suggested adding Wellbutrin to the mix should I begin to have difficulty during menopause (yep, I’m 51). So perhaps a few meds to explore further with your GP.
Both Mr A and I had the same thing happen with the 4 types of anti-depressants we’ve collectively been on. In fact, I gave up on one of them because of it. The trade off just wasn’t good enough. My sex life keeps me more sane than any pill managed to!
Really really hoping it either wears off or you get a different, better script.
LOL thats too funny
hope she doesn’t find them again soon
Explain to Amy how one of them works? WTF. Quickly confiscating the vibrator and changing the subject is the way to deal with that issue Kelly. Distract and divert. the number one tool of a forgetful mother.
Kelly – I don’t think we need to be explaining to Amy how they work just yet.
As for vibrators possibly ruining sex, well no, actually, I find vibrators complement my sex life quite nicely. Sometimes, there is no substitute for warm bodies and love, but a vibe can be useful there too.
Deb – I’d love Nat to help before my wrist fell apart, but sometimes, I just want to finish and fall asleep you know? If he’s part of it, well then we don’t tend to sleep as much as I’d like to. Hehe.
I’ve had similar problems with meds. I preferred when my sex drive disappeared. Now I have a libido but I frequently can’t orgasm. Sexual frustration is not a good thing. I do use toys to help because if I try the manual method I’ll dislocate my wrist and fingers. No fun. The right toy can help but they can get pricey.
Well, you’ve already heard all my grand advice/thoughts over email. And kids are so inquisitve, dammit, so high up is the only way to go when hiding things.
Vibrators ruining sex life?? Never heard of it. I’ve read that repeated exposure to porn can actually rewire the brain and make it so men require increasingly explicit visual stimulation to get off (ie, addiction to porn), thus impeding intimacy, but vibrators?? I don’t get it.
I have no helpful advice for you, sorry. Apart from remembering to put your toys away.
i have zero helpful advice.
is it okay if i laugh at the fact that your kid discovered your vibrators and called them treasure?
I am right there with you. I’m on Clonazepam, and I haven’t even attempted “relations” in 2 months… I’m too tired/depressed/in pain to even think about that kind of stuff.
Don’t have a clue about how to fix it though. Sorry. Eat more chocolate!
i’ve been waiting. to say anything, cuz im a jirk, and was hoping your experience with cymbalta was different then mine. i went on it for pain, and anxiety. and i wasn’t able to have an orgasm until i went off it, and then it still took a few weeks for stuff to feel normal again. it helped with the “phantom” pain and anxiety. but i got the insomnia, which suffering from insomnia for years was a huge deal breaker for me, also i started to get really weird symptoms like yawning so deep that my heart started to beat really weirdly. hoping that was a fluke and you don’t get it cuz its WEIRD. not being able to sit still happened. i finally understood people with add. also the whole if i sit still i’ll pass out asleep. which wasn’t fun. that went away though. after about 5/6 weeks.
also weaning off it is a bitch, i had skull splitting migraines that felt like what i imagine aneurysms feel like but with out the whole, relief from death thing.
so yeah, it did was it was supposed to, but for me, the side effects weren’t worth it. i do miss the whole no anxiety or depression thing.
maybe the orgasm thing evens out. i don’t know i was only on it for 4 months. i hope it does for you ^.^
and um, thats hilarious your daughter found your stash. lol!
What exactly is ‘real sex’? Penis in vagina is not the be all and end all!
Haha! I did lol at what Amy did. *luckily* she’s at the age where you can stash it away and hope she forgets about it.
My friend is on meds for bipolar and it has the opposite effect.
YES – she is satisfied in under 5 minutes!!!
Sorry if that makes you feel even more frustrated.
Funny!
Celexa not only killed my sex drive, but also my orgasm-achievement possibilities. Having never been on Cymbalta, I can’t offer any firsthand knowledge, but it may be listed in the possible side effects?
Lexapro was my wonder drug – antidepressant and antianxiety rolled into one, and I never had sex issues with it. Unfortunately, my state-covered insurance doesn’t cover it.
But, might be worth looking into?
I always tell the doctor, the quickest way to make me more depressed is to make me gain weight, or not want to have sex. (And now, whenever I go in for a checkup, he asks if I’m having sex yet, telling me it’ll do wonders for my mood! HA!)
I remember my stint on Paxil. I couldn’t come if my life depended on it. Those were the days my boyfriend (now my husband) would have a sore jaw and tongue following any sex. I could get to the edge of orgasm, but not over. Evil, evil, evil.
I’m not up on Cymbalta. I know the SSRIs can kill sex drive and orgasm-potential. Does Cymbalta effect Serotonin and norepinephrin? I switched to Wellbutrin, at some point, and it had zero sexual side effects. But I don’t know how Wellbutrin fares for anxiety.
@ Kelly @ Student of the Year: I think it may be advisable to have a break from this sex right now. You may find it helps you orgasm even better. Just give it a break for two months and see how you go. You might be surprised.
I have had the best sex life ever, lately, after having not done anything with it for a year before that. http://.hubpages.com/profile/infonolan
Kelly @ Student of the Year –
EVIL EVIL EVIL indeed. I’m coming off it, simply because it makes me so manic that I’m crashing badly (my skin broke out badly, everything is falling apart and I’m horribly ill) and it’s only been since I started the cymbalta. Yep, it’s a serotonin affecting one – that might be the issue?
I dunno. i guess all this external stimulation could be the issue.
Poor Amy. She’s so innocent and adorable! I don’t see any harm in letting Amy know how one works. Maybe because I’ve never been a mother, so I guess don’t take my word for it, but it may be an idea.
Here are some LINKS:
Images of vibrators for all to see:
http://media.onsugar.com/files/2010/02/08/2/33/331481/9923ad54b12c0038_soft_rubber_vibrators.jpg
My profile and BLOG on Sex, vibrators, etc.:
http://hubpages.com/profile/infonolan
I dunno. i guess all this external stimulation could be the issue.
Poor Amy. She’s so innocent and adorable! I don’t see any harm in letting Amy know how one works. Maybe because I’ve never been a mother, so I guess don’t take my word for it, but it may be an idea.
My profile and BLOG on Sex, vibrators, etc.:
http://hubpages.com/profile/infonolan
I have discussed some of my views and I’m more than prepared to debate it in my “Sexual life” hub comments if you’re keen. I will add more if I feel it may be useful.
I dunno. i guess all this external stimulation could be the issue.
Poor Amy. She’s so innocent and adorable! I don’t see any harm in letting Amy know how one works. Maybe because I’ve never been a mother, so I guess don’t take my word for it, but it may be an idea.
My profile and BLOG on Sex, vibrators, etc. (click my name):
I have discussed some of my views and I’m more than prepared to debate it in my “Sexual life” hub comments if you’re keen. I will add more if I feel it may be useful.
well I think I’d stop interfering with a med that interfered with my ability to orgasm but then I’m a greedy self centered sex pig like that!!
oh dear that didn’t make much sense did it obviously I meant to say
I think I’d stop taking any med that interfered with my ability to orgasm ……
Kelly, I don’t think external stimulation is the issue, so much as the drugs I was taking.
EmmaK – I’ve stopped the cymbalta now, it made me hideously ill and really, there is no point being hideously ill AND sexually frustrated. And my partner loves me, but after 5 years, he’s not exactly available for every single orgasm I want! Hehe.
Hi guys, sorry, a whole bunch of comments got caught in the spam filter. I guess that’s what happens when you couple talking about sex with talking about meds! You’ve all been fished out now.
porn and vibrators have always helped my sex life. Perhaps it’s the open communcation about them and exporing new things together?
Being aware of my own likes and drives etc
Amy – too funny! Just be glad the in-laws weren’t there visiting when she came wandering out!
I’ll say!
That’s okay Watershedd, my MIL reads my blog – we had a good giggle about it this afternoon.
Also, Kelly. I’m NOT impressed about your comment earlier, stating which suburb I live in. You should know by now that mentioning home suburbs, where someone lives and how you found their phone number are in bad taste and completely goes against everything polite and internet safe. I’d prefer if, in future, you feel the need to ask about where I live that you’d do so in an email, not as a comment. There is a reason no one aside from friends know my home address and it’s a SAFETY reason – I live in a VERY small community and the Internet doesn’t need to know where.
Please forgive me for invading on your privacy. I suppose I wasn’t really thinking when I posted that comment. I would never disclose my own address to the public so I shouldn’t be then doing what I did. Just goes to show, I might be just as as much of a hypocrite as the Coeliac Society. maybe even more-so. I acknowledge it though.
I have added some more information to my blog on pleasurable sex: http://hubpages.com/hub/Improvements-in-Sex-Life
Perhaps we need to be exposed to sex at later stages of life. I don’t know. It might be an idea, though.
I also have a VERY interesting entry on Lindt Chocolate and I think it may be worth having every Coeliac around having a look at this post: http://hubpages.com/hub/Lindt
I posted as it was something no one has ever talked about before.
Hi Kelly,
appology accepted, just please, don’t do it again! Hehe.
I’ve never tried a vibrator myself. Probably best not to, unless you’re too worked up and depressed and can’t suck up to some gullible guy!
YOU SLUT, AMY!! Nah jokes…
I just don’t see the point in them! I think it may be good to explain to your daughter, veronica, why they aren’t treasure… She can’t grow up thinking that they are treasure…
I was always ignorant when I went to school. Certainly not one of the ‘hot babes’ and knew very little if anything about sexual terminology. To help your daughter be more greatly accepted in society, perhaps you could mention something about them to her, instructing her not to touch them. Just a possibility…
If you mention them to Amy, she’ll probably try one and maybe misuse it. She might make a total fool of herself at school and get EXPELLED! Introduce them to her, Veronica, Just make sure it is at the right AGE!
@Veronica Do you have Ann Campbell’s email address. I am really keen to find out some of those businesses that falsely claim ‘gluten free’ so I can make it known! If she wants to contact me she can do so at kellynolan82@aol.com.au or http://hubpages.com/profile/infonolan
Isn’t that interesting you’re daughter’s name is the same as that of my co-worker!
It’s just a coincidence, Kelly. Nothing fancy said! Anyways I am very surprised to see you up at this hour anyway; do you do this every night? I just got back from the BEST dinner of my LIFE here where I live. So that’s why I’m up a little late.
I stand as I always have. Amy is only little at this stage and although being on strict diets, etc. would help (as it did me), she also needs to be exposed to the right things. Otherwise she will look like a fool! Kids’ tv shows, things for kids. Not adult toys! And NO it is not appropriate for Amy to know about condoms at this stage at all. If the word slips out, and Veronica ends up in a sticky situation, she can deal with it herself.
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