With the rise of “Home Beautiful Bloggers” I have noticed a trend towards the airbrushing and prettifying of lives. Marita noticed this too and set up her “Real Homes” challenge, and Zoey has noticed it as well, addressing it in a post titled “10 things I am not good at”.
And I’ll admit, there is a push towards making our lives cleaner and less messy. To make the hurts more sanitised and worthy of a “Better Homes and Gardens” article, a yes, we’ve had troubles, but look at how uplifting our ending is!
This is where it’s easy to be a bit less than truthful with the truthiness of things. To photoshop the dirty bits out and skim over the mess.
And so I present to you, a series of photos of my kitchen and dining room, entitled:
What is actually there, VS what I want you to see.
What is actually there: The Kitchen.
The kitchen, taken from the living room. Bench top and shelves care of my father, who makes things for me. Hanging hooks (new!) care of Nathan. Hole in the wall covered by cardboard and duct tape, care of the previous owners and their stupid range hood that died and we’ve not had the money or inclination to replace. Red extension cord that runs to the other side of the house and powers my computer because my living room has NO power points.
What I want you to see: The Kitchen.
Artfully hanging pots, overexposed and given a slightly grainy filter. The edits are meant to draw attention away from the fact that they are mismatched and old.
My gorgeous kitchenaid, that I was gifted by a friend after he won it in a competition. If I didn’t tell you that, I’d just let you assume that I can afford such luxuries.
What is actually there: The Shelves.
Lots of different types of tea, plus percolater coffee hiding in a silver cannister. Herbs, spices, sugar, salt. Isaac’s laxative, because I have to sneak it into his drinks, or he won’t drink it. This corner is perfect for sneaking things in. Dessert glasses gathering cobwebs underneath the shelves, as well as a snap lock bag of broad beans for planting.
What I want you to see: The Shelves.
Carefully blurred tea cannisters, sitting on a lovely wooden shelf. Slightly overexposed to hide dust and fingerprints.
What is actually there: Hanging Spices.
Various hanging spices, a pair of scissors that I thought I’d lost until I edited these photos and a hanging pudding. Also, a grimy windowframe in a horrible colour.
What I want you to see: Hanging Spices.
What is actually there: Fridge and Fruit Bowl.
Freshly decluttered area next to the sink. Grimy wall and window frame. Empty jar. Canteen list stuck to the fridge. Spray bottle filled with lemon juice and disinfectant for when Isaac gets poo on the carpet. Gorgeous fruit bowl that was a wedding present from Kathy.
What I want you to see. Fridge and Fruit Bowl.
Fresh fruit. That’s all I want you to see of that corner.
What is actually there: Dining room.
Books. Nathan’s computer. Things shoved into the bookshelf willy nilly. I get points for having a table cloth on the table, but that’s a rarity, and anyway, it’s crooked.
What I want you to see: Dining Room.
Ceramic vase and platter from Mum. Really, if I’m trying to pretty things up, this is all you need to see of my dining room.
In conclusion:
Anyone can have a beautiful house on the Internet – all it requires is some carefully angled photos and a good photo editing program. You can’t see the bits I don’t photograph and you can’t make judgements based on things you can’t see.
At the same time, anyone can have a perfect life on the Internet. It’s very easy to gloss over the shitty bits, it’s much harder to share reality. If you’re feeling inadequate about your organisational skills, your decorating, your life in general – remember, it’s very easy to present a version of reality online that is actually nothing like real life and you shouldn’t let someone else’s blog make you feel bad.
Personally, I prefer my real life to any version I could pretty up.
Disclaimer – I’d just spent an hour cleaning the kitchen and decluttering everything because it was giving me the shits. So it’s already tidier than normal.
My kichen is in boxes š
Miserable š You’ll get there eventually though. We’ve been here for four years and it’s still only just getting improvements done now!
Thanks for the disclaimer! I was going to comment on how neat your kitchen is. I like the shelves everywhere. I think you use space cleverly even if you can’t afford the remodel etc. your countertop and hooks etc. are nice, nice touches. š
Here’s the kitchen a week ago, before I decluttered it! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150766692377490&set=a.10150403042847490.380387.361847322489&type=3&theater
I’m not sure there’s any angle or filter that would make my house look lovely š I was just thinking about this this morning when I was cleaning the cupboard under my sink. I had thought to do a before and after but I realised I forgot to take any before photos and then I was secretly glad that I forgot because it was possibly the most disgusting thing I’ve seen in a while…
Thanks for making me feel a little more normal today.
Trust me, it’s all about overexposing and getting in really close to things. My house is a renovators delight and I just don’t photograph those bits!
Husband and I are on a decluttering mission today, both of our allergies have been sooooooooo bad. I’m waking up during the night with asthma attacks from the dust. So we’ve decided to pack everything away that can possibly be packed away.
Then dusting simply involves wiping a damp cloth over surfaces rather than picking things up, wiping down and returning to its spot.
Suddenly our life looks so much cleaner because everything is hidden behind cupboard doors. Not sure how long it will last though as the cupboards are so full and I’m not ready to part with all our stuff simply to breathe easier.
We’d love to get rid of our carpet and declutter properly, but I suspect that has been put in the “long term” basket. This house has very little storage and hardly any cupboards, so we’ve got a lot of things in boxes in the shed.
Cupboards do hide a multitude of sins though!
Truth be told, I love your house in its natural state. It’s the kind of house I find the most comfortable and welcoming. š
But the pretty photos are very pretty!
As much as I love the look of clean, uncluttered, white houses, I always want to have the kind of house that feels like home. Where people take their shoes off and curl up on the couch with tea and don’t feel uncomfortable about it.
And, as messy as bookshelves get, I couldn’t live in a house without loads of books and I always stickybeak at other peoples bookshelves when I get a chance!
I have a whole messy room FULL of messy, messy bookshelves. š One day I will have a beautiful library… for about 2 days, until I start rummaging!
Oh yes, I’d LOVE a library. But then I’d need a librarian, otherwise all the books would end up on the table, covering the benches and hiding under my pillow.
Have to love this post and I also love your disclaimer. I really appreciate your honesty and candidness – and bravery – it’s brave to put it out there in the way you do! I wish I could be half as brave – what a great role model you are – you inspire me!
Yes, had to add a disclaimer because I did spend a fair bit of time decluttering. I think it’s the start of “OMG we’re having a BABY”. Which I will admit, Nathan loves, because I declutter and clean. Normally I ignore it all!
This is why I love you š
The cleanest my houses have ever been, was at time of being on the market for sale. Day to day is a different story. I am blessed with lots of space, storage and helpful children, as well as time, which should make tidiness easier, but it still requires effort. I’d rather use my effort for writing.
We’ve always said that if we want to put this place on the market, then EVERYTHING is going to have to go into storage in order to keep on top of things. Frankly, I’m hoping if we ever sell, then I will have done enough work on the garden to make the garden sell the house!
Being tidy is hard.
Ha Ha!
I do the “House Beautiful” photos too, you know I do, you’ve seen my blog.
Sweep all the clutter to one side, wipe up the dust and coffee/milo spills then photograph.
Sweep all the clutter to the OTHER side, wipe up the dust and coffee/milo spills and photograph.
Make the bed, scoop the used tissues into the bin, draw the blind down so the dust doesn’t show, light a pretty lamp, photograph.
I don’t have a photo editing program though, so I take a few dozen shots at different angles and levels, then choose the best and dump the rest.
I really like your kitchen and dining shelves and your kitchen bench is something I’d pay big bucks for if I was building or renovating a home.
Hehe, I think it’s how most of us work! Hide the clutter, avoiding showing off the fingerprints.
My kitchen bench is my favourite part of the kitchen.
I don’t mind a bit of photoshopping on blogs I read š I quite enjoy the escape from my own messband know that any photos I see are probably not an everyday reality.
Oh, please don’t think I’m anti-photoshopping! It’s my very favourite image editing program. But I’ve noticed a trend towards super exposed photos, or close ups and I thought I’d point out that it’s very easy for anyone to do, you don’t really need the perfect house first.
I think we’ve all got dirty washing piled up behind the bedroom door to be honest!
No, I don’t think that š And I wish I had photoshop! I’m too tight arse to pay for it.
Yep, washing, dishes, ironing. Piles of stuff are homely, right? Perhaps I’ll go and take some arty, super exposed close ups of my dirty laundry. It might make it look beautiful! LOL
God I love the truth … makes me feel so much better about myself. Just proves how careful you have to be when basing your opinion or yourself (or your home) on what others project.
Pinterest is a big one for making me feel bad about my house/yard/garden. But again, it’s all selective editing, or people with huge amounts of money!
I was JUST thinking about this last night and contemplating a similar post – LOVE it! x
Great minds!
I LOVE that you have bookshelves over your table!! This is hard to believe, but there are people who *gasp* DON’T HAVE BOOKS!
I know!!
How can you call it a home if it doesn’t have books???
Exactly! How can it be a home without books? WHAT DO THEY DO IN THEIR SPARE TIME?!
Oh yes! I cleaned out Annie’s room today and took all the books out of her room to the bookshelves. Filled up 3 whole shelves with books and realised soon we will have to get new bookshelves. The thought made me happy š
I get you. I love seeing the truth behind the photos too.
Metaphorically we all only show the bits of our life , on the blog , we want people to see.
Many of us photo-shop the gritty bits out.
I now live in a termite invaded shed with a concrete floor and mismatched recycled kitchen, cobwebs and arty beams and real tree posts- at the moment.
I couldn’t hide anything …
We are renovating a mobile home-,with recycled materials ,second hand windows , annexe panels and recycled kitchens.
Arty beams and tree posts sound like my cup of tea! Especially when paired with the recycled materials in the renovations!
Interesting, I was looking through the “dream” houses on a real estate website the other day, looking for homes in our area if money was no object. I ended up boring myself to tears. The houses were immaculately perfect and nothing I’d want to own. I want character and guts to a house, not white walls and white carpet.
I once heard a great quote that went something like “stop comparing your own behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel” – I thought that summed it up to a tee š
I think that is a brilliant quote.
Clever post. I loved it.
Thank you!
I love your kitchen – no matter what angle you take. It has a natural rustic feel. And I adore your bookshelf above your dining table.
I can see all of the kitchen’s faults, because I work in it every day. But yes, I love that it looks like a home. And because our house is open plan, the kitchen truly is where everything exciting happens.
I love it.
….and such a great photographer you are.
Coming from you, that’s a huge compliment. Thankyou!
I think this is a conversation we need to keep having. I know of so many people who feel like shit after reading blogs; feeling that they’re not good enough, that they can’t live up to the cool lives of the bloggers they read etc.
It’s true, there’s a dirty pile of laundry just where you can’t see it in the shot, because let’s face it, what blogger wants to show their mess?
I agree. There’s nothing wrong with the super pretty photos and a good dose of unreality, as long as we remember that even the home beautiful bloggers have days when their kid vomits and the dog tracks mud inside and the washing hasn’t been done.
LOVE this!!!! Recently someone posted some of the “what I want you to see” pics and I rather childishly thought “OF COURSE your kitchen looks like that” – now I am curious to see what she didnt want us to see!!!
I’m always curious about the dirty laundry hiding in the corner and the dishes stashed in the oven. But I’m a stickybeak!
I like a mix of things, pretty, but also real. I’m a big fan of feeling connected to someone elses reality.
What a clever and fascinating post! I love your vision and your kitchen, the ‘before’ and the ‘creatively selected’.
I had such good fun doing it too!
I love this post SO MUCH.
I may actually try this myself.
DO IT! I’d love to see other peoples houses and their take on this.
Oh so true Veronica! You should see when I take my food photos for the blog. No time for staging or props. I’m in too much of a hurry to eat it! LOL I skilfully block out all the dirty dishes that are surrounding the dish I’m photographing, sometimes with success. A great post and making me feel better about my messy house.
Anne xx
I used to do the same thing when I was taking food photos!
Veronica, I love this post! As you know I am living in a shed while we build our house…nearly 4 years of dusty and dirty fun! I remember one stormy day we were flooded out and it took hours to get home..BUT when I did get home to my dusty shed, I was so happy because THIS WAS MY HOME!
It doesn’t matter how a person decorates or how a house looks, it is family that makes a home..and btw I love your kitchen, it’s a working kitchen and I can imagine alot of cooking and baking going on in there!!!!!
I agree, it’s family that makes a home. I always wonder about the memories being created in the bright white perfect environments. It just looks so sterile!
It’s the shoulds I don’t like. The idea that I should be aiming for whatever is being shown. It’s kids activities not houses for me, because I’m quite happy with my cobwebs but always worried if I’m a good enough mum.
Now I write about activities, but I really hope it comes across as – we did this, it was fun, it’s an idea you can use too if you want. I include the occasional disaster but I am also guilty of glossing over the times we didn’t finish properly because the girls moved on to something else.
Sometimes I get the vibe that bloggers think I should be doing other things with my kids – whether that’s outside or screen free or eating organic. I don’t know if it’s real or if it’s my insecurities and opinions coming through, but it certainly feels as if people are telling me how I should be doing it. And that makes me feel judged if I don’t agree or don’t do it that way. I’m sure they’re not doing it on purpose, but presenting an ideal is very off-putting.
I’ve never read your blog as I “should” be doing something with my kids, it’s always just a series of fun activities that I *could* attempt if I wanted.
I agree with you though, it’s the blogs that present themselves as “you need to aspire to this” that bug me. Not the ones who present as “I have this thing I really love and I want to share it with you too.”
Love this post! All too often I end up feeling depressed when I look at Home magazines. Huge open spaces, sparse furniture, lots of white…..and then I wonder to myself, how on earth do they keep it clean?
Within a day of vacuuming and mopping, my floors are covered in a fine layer of dust. Those huge rooms would need daily attention….Give me modest and comfy any day!
Modest and comfy is awesome. I always love the houses that make me feel like I can curl up with a cup of tea and a bok and be perfectly happy. In a showroom type house, I’d be constantly worried about laughing and spilling the drink!
I do lust after a house with huge windows and lots of light, but I also want character and warmth.
What? No! It can’t be true!!! This is like that Febreeze commercial where everything smells great but it’s really an awful horrible dirty room! I hate reality! I want to live vicariously through your beautiful bloggy airbrushed photo cropped designeresq artistically inspired pictures!!! I want an escape from real life!!! If I wanted dusty fingerprinted dog nose prints on the windows, smelly cat litter boxes, junk drawers that have turned into hoarder TV worthy rooms and garages, butt sinking sofas and chairs used as scratching posts by the cat all I’d have to do is turn away from my computer screen. But no, I sign up to follow the beautiful bloggers worlds so that I can dutifully read my blogger emails everyday and pin the worthiest pictures to Pinterest and enter contests and dream of someday … and happily ever after … when I will finally find that perfect inspiration that will motivate me to take control, make some changes, create something, decorate something, try a new nifty cleaning tip or yummy recipe that will give some meaning to my life! So, no more of this reality crap! I want fiction and fantasy! All you can produce as often as possible! Please! … Sorry, I might have gone a little overboard here … But all that reality just hit me in the face and I guess I wasn’t prepared … You should maybe post a warning before you go all reality on us … It’s kinda like deciding to watch a design show on HGTV but accidentally hitting the buttons for that show where somebody needs a new face or a 500 pound tumor removed and you see the horrid reality before you can change the channel … Well that’s probably an exaggeration … it wasn’t that bad … really it wasn’t … I’m just kidding … a little … š
Yes, absolutely. Entire blog should have a tagline that reads: Warning, Reality Ahead. Hehehe.
This is just yet another reason I need to invest in a macro lens… so much easier to just focus on the bits I like! š
Yes! Although, I used a 50mm for these, so start experimenting.
I love this post, for so MANY different reasons.
Bloody unreal xx
Thanks Eden. I had a LOT of fun with it.
Brilliant! I was just commenting on a similar post by Caz. So many blogs just show the ‘highlights reel’. It’s hard to put the less than perfect out there, but it’s so much better for all our souls š
Did Caz write something? I’ll have to go hunt it up…
I blog the real, because when I first started, it was the few bloggers who weren’t glossing over the crappy bits that helped save my sanity.
I swear I’m too lazy to do all of that… š
Love your kitchen and dining room! x
I had a mad burst of energy. I blame the ever-expanding uterus and the fact that I’m running out of time. (Okay, so I have MONTHS left, but my brain is not sensible)
this is great! I wish I was a good enough photographer to do the highlight stuff! lol! My friends house really is always that perfect.. mine ~ well I am just not good at cleaning up so often lol!! š
I have a good camera that I adore. Perfect houses worry me – do they have maid service, or do some people enjoy cleaning?
ooh thanks – some good tips on making my mess look pretty ! š
Yes, creative blurring and close ups will make anything look interesting!
Love to bits. I had a photo taken with the family for The Age and you can see the stains on the couch, I’ve had family consultations at home to show what a family house I feel really looks like.
Big Hugs lovely Nx
LOVE IT. Real life is just so much cooler than the photoshopped version.
I guess being a photography teacher I prefer the edited, artfully composed photos. I like the ones that have a little bit of mystery surrounding them. That’s just me though! I’d kill for all your books š
Oh, I agree, I love artfully arranged photos for their own sake – but in blog posts about living real life, I like honesty too.
Loved your post! Stay Real <3
Thank you, and I will, always.
crap, I think my problem is I have no idea how to find that ‘artful’ decent image to show something, or I need photoshop, or how to use filter things or maybe a camera, I only have my phone, that’s it. I have read all the posts on trying to take decent images with phones but they are still just images of what is right in front of me.
I actually enjoy your ‘after’ photos as good images. I don’t read many ‘beautiful’ blogs, unless I am looking for design tips or something but even then, I need the budget version – which there are some around.
I find taking phone photos so hard, it really just doesn’t gel easily with me.
I liked both sets of photos too, which is why they’re online (the blurry, crappy, wobbly ones didn’t make the cut), but I liked showing the “real” of my kitchen. I think we don’t share the real enough sometimes.
“a pair of scissors that I thought Iād lost until I edited these photos” that had me in stitches…
I started detesting blogs that have loads of fancy and artful photos. There, I said it! I much prefer seeing how things really look, and not the contrived angles where everything is blurred and the subject of the photo can’t be always identified quickly… Not unless it’s a photographic blog, there I will “excuse” it.
I’m glad SOMEONE noticed that! I’d honestly lost them until I checked the photos and then I went “Hey, that’s where they went!”
I don’t tend to follow the “style, my life’s perfect” blogs. I find them boring and contrived. I’d rather buy a magazine or browse pinterest if I want to look at house porn. It’s far more interesting looking at your home which feels awesome.
I do a bit too. “Look at how I decorated!” “Look at the money I spent” etc etc. Crappy.
I’m glad you liked mine!
Thank you so much for posting this! I rarely edit and then I wonder what people think when they can see my piles of washing or dirty dishes in the sink!
They probably feel grateful that you didn’t crop it all out!
Great post. This obsession with only showing the arsty, perfect, beautiful side of life, only the good, not the bad or painful, gets a bit tiring. Especially Instagram photos!! The filters on everything are driving me nuts! I love your reality photos, think your kitchen looks brilliant as it is.
It does get tiring. I love the arty, pretty, beautiful things as well, but I like to think that my blog shows a damn good dose of reality, on any given day.
I think this just goes to show that you can find beauty and even order in the midst of a little chaos and clutter… I need to remember that, especially considering how many times I’ve added a photo of my piles of washing to a blog post! LOL
I think my adoration of you just grew 100% – this perfection standard is my bugbear. Of course it taps into my inadequacies or rather my mask of insecurities of being not as financially savvy, not as wonderfully arty and crafty with my photography and it strips my ego bare. I gleam inspiration from blogs/pinterest for sure – but the reality is that more and more often I just feel ‘not good enough’. I wish people were more able to do what you just did. Keep it real.
Sure there is a time and place for arty/creative, show me the money kind of posts. I get that. Sometimes it just would be nice to see the ‘hey we’re down on our luck this pay – we just landed a $$$ amenities bill and have $10 to see us through till the next pay cheque kind of post!’ As that is real. The survival, I’m real, tangible and making do kind of posts.
Veronica = legend in her awesome really real kitchen. You got game and you brought it to the table š
You are a brave woman. I hate to admit it, but I like your modified kitchen better! Great photography! š LOL
I love this post Veronica, glad I found the link from Louisa Claire. I constantly think my house is a mess, a bomb site, a never ending round of cleaning. My husband is away 7 months of the year and I admit that I can’t do it all, although I really wish I could! It makes me feel better that people are more like me then I realise and not like some of the picture they show, although they do look pretty! I always pray that people don’t turn up on my door step without a phone call because I would be horrified to say come into the mess!
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