Women and Vibrators

by Veronica on June 25, 2008

in Gotta Laugh

We all know blokes have a wank (although some women try to deny this fact) but how many women are open about masturbation?

Hardly any that I know of. At least not in real life.

So what is it that we are all so scared of? Are we scared of our best friend finding out that we like orgasms, even when our man is too tired to give them to us? Or when you don’t have a man at all?

Why do vibrators scare women so much that we orgasm with them and yet we can’t talk about them? I got a google search the other day ‘is it okay to buy my 14 year old a vibrator?’

OF COURSE IT FUCKING IS! Buy her a vibrator and a good store of batteries. Install a lock on her door and let her orgasm her way to bliss. If she’s home playing with a vibrator then she isn’t out getting her rocks off with a 15 year old boy who could possibly get her pregnant!

[Not that I did that of course. Ahem]

Women need orgasms as much as men do and if your hubby is a bit weird about it, remind him that the more orgasms you have, the more you want and he should really go and buy you some batteries shouldn’t he!

If nothing else, he might set out to prove exactly why the real thing is better than a vibrating version. Or not, as your tastes may run.

Most women masturbate at some point. Some use it to fall asleep at night, or to get rid of headaches (and yes, orgasms do indeed help with headaches).

So why are we so anal about it? You all know that my lovely daughter found my vibrator one day and then appeared, swinging it like a light sabre.

And you all know that I am pregnant and on a sex ban, therefore my imagination may be getting away from me at times [if it happens in my dreams, then it doesn’t count].

I don’t think I have ever spoken about masturbating [in as many words] with friends. Until I started blogging, I had never discussed the pros and cons of sex toys with anyone aside from Nathan.

So I want to know, have you discussed sex toys with your best friends? What about masturbation?

Would you attend (or host) one of those sex toys parties?

And if I hosted a sex toy party (which I have always wanted to do), would you like me to post about it afterwards?

All pictures again stolen from my favourite site.

Memarie Lane June 26, 2008 at 12:28 am

I wouldn’t host one just because I don’t host sales parties. I hate sales parties, I don’t go to them either.

I’m not at all opposed to masturbation, but I don’t need any special toys to do it. I know a lot of women really like them, but they seem invasive to me. I’d rather have the real deal or just my imagination to work with. Also I think penises are gross (vaginas too, don’t get any ideas :P) in general so seeing something that looks in any way like a penis is going to turn me off pretty fast. My imagination does me a lot better.

Memarie Lanes last blog post..Not Just Desserts

Kat June 26, 2008 at 1:43 am

Hmm… I wouldn’t host one – and I don’t think I’d go to one. Its sort of a private thing, isn’t it? That’s how I feel about it, anyway – But I’ve definitely talked about toys/masturbation with friends at different times. Went shopping with one friend a few years ago, and we had a blast laughing our heads off in the shop. She ended up buying that pink one you have a picture of at the top of your post!

Kats last blog post..Eye Chawnee

Marylin June 26, 2008 at 2:41 am

Oooh I remember the first time I ever orgasmed, being oh-so-quiet talking to my bf over the phone in a dorm at boarding school – hahaha oh the shame if any of them had realised! At least, I don’t think they ever did!

I wouldn’t host one, but more because I don’t have many friends to make it worthwhile. I haven’t been to one but I so would if I was ever invited 😀

I keep hinting to J to get me a new vibo soon cuz I’m in need of a replacement!

Oh, and I remember when I moved into a flat with a friend at uni we bought a set of two at the same time to save on delivery… then promptly scurried off into our rooms to try them out as soon as they got there, so yeah, openly talk about sex, orgasms, whatever 😉

Marylins last blog post..Sleepy Boy

Sandy (Momisodes) June 26, 2008 at 4:02 am

Good heavens! I’ve had some monster headaches lately. Perhaps I need to visit this site 😉

I don’t think I’d host, probably because I don’t feel well-versed in the toy dept. However, I’d gladly attend one!

Jenn June 26, 2008 at 4:52 am

I never had one or been to one but my ex sister inlaw use to sell the stuff and do parties! I never ever did it in my life until after I got divorced and I never got one from a guy either until I got rid of the first husband. Anyways after a guy friend of mine told me about it and how to do it and I tried then I told my friend who had gotten a divorce at the same time as me she didn’t quite understand so I stayed on the phone with her to take her through it step by step and once I knew she was on her way and doing things right we hung up and she called me back later and thanked me! haha

Jenns last blog post..The Bib Says It All !

Lou June 26, 2008 at 6:05 am

I’d host one. Because demonstrations would have to be OUTSTANDING!!

Lous last blog post..Take me out to the ballgame

Jenty June 26, 2008 at 6:10 am

Yes, I’ve hosted one (my mom was even there :) ) and I’ve been to many. I’ve even been to a few big public events where toys are promoted and sold 😉

Jentys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Tired toddler

Burgh Baby June 26, 2008 at 6:50 am

You are scaring me again. GLAOIAWELTER!

Burgh Babys last blog post..Caution: A Rare Glimpse into the Mind of the Male Species

Taz June 26, 2008 at 8:10 am


never hosted a party…

and no sorry hun not very open to a random bunch.. lol

but yes i do own a vibrator and yes it stops here..

tiff June 26, 2008 at 10:39 am

Look at that doubler! Yousers! That kind of looks painful to me, painful yet oddly interesting…

Umm, I was invited to a sex party once but seeing as I was thoroughly embarrassed when I went to SEXPO with a friend, who has no fear of anything, ANYTHING, I tell you, I kind of backed out at the last minute, especially seeing as the same friend was going to be there and I had these weird images of her ‘sampling’ all the toys. *shudder* See? I’m still not over her putting on the collar with the spikes and the leather whip and riding the weird goth male around the pavillion, like some warrior princess. Scarred forever.

tiffs last blog post..Positives.

Marie June 26, 2008 at 11:58 am

I would neither host nor attend such a party. I don’t think it’s wrong or any such thing. I just think that so much of the blood normally in the rest of my body would pool in my face, thus causing massive organ failure. :)

I would happily read about yours though!

katef June 26, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Oh bout time you did another vibrator post! ROFL

If you had a party, I’d go… I reckon it would be a good laugh and I could really use a good giggle at the moment. But I guess it depends who would be there… I am pretty open about such things with some people, not so with others.

Is it odd that sleep comes way before sex or even the odd masturbation orgasm in my book at the moment?? That makes me sound like a really sad prude ROFL.. but really I am just TIRED!

katefs last blog post..What Can We Do Today?? – Draw Big!

Amy June 26, 2008 at 3:00 pm

I LOVE that you posted about this.

During pregnancy my orgasms were gigantic – I couldn’t get over it.

I used to talk about this type of stuff with my college girlfriends, but it has been a long while.

You go girl.

Amys last blog post..June Days :: 24

river June 26, 2008 at 7:10 pm

I haven’t discussed sex, sex toys or masturbation with my friends. Most of them are girls I work with and a much younger age group, so the subject doesn’t come up. I’ve discussed these things with my hubby, when I have trouble with my back and can’t have sex, he’s happy that I can still orgasm by masturbation and he does it too. Sometimes the pair of us side by side on the bed.Those times we even help each other….. Occasionally there’s a toy or two involved.
I wouldn’t host a party and I’m not sure I’d go to one. It would depend very much on the age group of others invited I think. If you were to host or attend a party I’d like to hear about it here. Maybe I’d learn something helpful.

river June 26, 2008 at 7:19 pm

Tiff, I kinda like the look of that doubler, think I want one………..

Deb June 26, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Hi! This is my first time visiting your site, and you are on a topic that is near and dear to my heart! :)

I have talked about vibrators with some close friends, and I successfully got a few of them to order one. My one friend e-mailed me afterwards telling me that she was changing her will, leaving 1/2 to me, and the other 1/2 to the manufacturer of the vibrator. I felt like I had really done something great for the world. :)

Debs last blog post..It has been said that the best things in life are free…

nikki June 26, 2008 at 10:14 pm

My bachelorette party was a sex toy party. Heh. It was fun.

nikkis last blog post..Canework

Suzie June 26, 2008 at 11:34 pm

Ahh my favorate type of disscussions. As I never get to do anything fun I would never get to host a party let alone one with toys. But if I could I would and I would certainly go. I have a great back massager that unfortunitly the dog ate. But I have invested in a new one and love it so.

Suzies last blog post..I Just Wanna Sleep!

Hyphen Mama June 27, 2008 at 2:08 am

There should be a warning on my front door: “If you enter this house, be prepared for Hyphen’s incessant masturbation and sex toy chat.” Because really, if you hang out at my place long enough, the topic of conversation inevitably turns to sex toys and masturbation. Okay, maybe it’s not just at my house… maybe the problem is ME. Basically, if you’re around ME for any length of time, the discussion turns to sex toys and masturbation. I guess I think masturbation is THAT important. I am SO willing to buy my daughter (and son) vibrators. I wrote a post about it….

Hyphen Mamas last blog post..Then the Only Question Left is: How Do We EAT?

Jenn FL June 27, 2008 at 5:58 am

Yes .. I have discussed sex and toys with my best friend. I have talked about sex with other women, but nothing like I talk about it with my very best friend.

I would host a party if I had people to invite. I have been invited to a couple and only attended one of them

Tanya June 27, 2008 at 8:47 am

I was invited to one of those parties but had something on the same night. I was given a catalogue though and Nathan and I twisted our heads at the strange bright coloured things. Some I didn’t even know what they were or what they did. I just couldn’t figure it out.

kaylee June 27, 2008 at 1:25 pm


kaylees last blog post..Wonderful Birthday

kaylee June 27, 2008 at 1:29 pm

AND I got a question for you thats totally off subject BUT how IN THE freaking world do you tell a boy that wants to have sex with you that you arent interested? I mean i turned 17 today and got a boyfriend that Wants to have “real sex” with me and he is tryingto get me to agree to it and he is already taling about having a child should I be scared????

kaylees last blog post..Wonderful Birthday

river June 27, 2008 at 4:06 pm

kaylee, the word you are looking for is NO, gently but firmly. Repeat, repeat, repeat. If you are not ready then don’t let him wear you down.

kaylee June 27, 2008 at 4:55 pm

river its not that I aint ready to do it’s That i think i am too youg to do it. My mom would have my buttt if i got pregant(and thats wat hes talking about) this young!!

kaylees last blog post..Wonderful Birthday

Trish June 27, 2008 at 5:12 pm

I went to one earlier this year and it was so much fun …everyone was laughing so hard -snorting and running off to the bathroom to try the magic HOT cream.

It was fun to see them but no testing allowed except on the tip of your nose.Everyone was trying to be as discreet as possible and not pretend they liked it.

It was a friend with twins who hosted it and she had her mother / sister there as well as a few other mother and daughter pair so from 20’s to 50’s we had.

The host kept telling everyone is was so good for pelvic floor muscles *wink*

The other mother (oldest one there) and older women daughter pair won the party prizes knowing all the sex words for the games.

I have never talked about masturbation to my friends (OMG they would crumple if I mentioned sex some of them) but it’s great to be more open about orgasms so many women never reach this bliss LOL.

Trishs last blog post..If nobody is watching …

Cassandra Rae June 28, 2008 at 3:08 am

I love that you are blogging about this because you are so right: we are afraid of getting real when it comes to masturbation and our sexual needs and desires. I’ve never used a toy before, but I am curious about them. I have been wanting to throw a pleasure party for quite some time now and it is definitely something I see in my future. In fact, there’s this awesome woman I know who is all about helping women improve their sex lives and empowering them through education about sex toys and sexuality. Yeah, she sells sex toys and she is one of the classiest, brightest, and most supportive business woman I know! I’ve even blogrolled her….I guess I’m way more passionate about women embracing their sexuality than I realized :~)

Cassandra Raes last blog post..Facing the Unknown with Relief

Kimberly September 21, 2008 at 6:05 pm

Umm…I don’t think I would host one, but I would attend one in a heartbeat. I don’t have any problems talking about masturbation with my guy friends, but I can’t really talk about it with my girlfriends. I don’t know why. I guess it’s because men are more open about that sort of thing and they don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I have some mature male friends so they don’t make crude remarks wen we talk about it. I can’t even talk about it with my twin sister. She gets very uncomfortable when anything about sex comes up in a conversation.

Trixie September 21, 2008 at 6:15 pm

I wouldn’t host a sex toy party, but I would love to go to one! They sound like so much fun! Women getting together to talk about sex, sex toys, masturbation and orgasms while having a few good laughs as well! What can be better than that?!?! No one I know is open about masturbation and it would be fun to get together with women who are not afraid to talk about it. :)

Sajs October 18, 2008 at 6:16 am

I would host a sex toy party but I don’t even our a vibrator, I want to buy my first and I’m doing research about them. I would love to read about a sex toy party. But my real question is about how men react to vibrators.

kira February 17, 2009 at 12:22 am

@Sajs: I don’t know about all men, but at least my boyfriend loves mine 😉 (I own the bunny on the top of the page)

Otherwise: With most of my friends I couldn’t talk about masturbation – it’s like oh, but you’ve got a boyfriend, why should you. People are sometimes just too serious about the whole thing.

And the sales party – never heard of one being organised, wouldn’t want to do one myself. But I’d sure go there out of curiosity – and to see how red I can get 😉

tayyy March 17, 2009 at 7:19 am

i am 14 years old and am already have these urges im not sure if im ready to do my boyfriend but i really really want to try using a vibrator. i want to use my moms but im scared it will hurt really bad even though it really skinny i need tip and reasurence cause im so ready for a vibrator…………………………………..
get at me pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssssssseeeeee

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