I have been avoiding my blog because I didn’t want to whine here, but then I thought about it and if I can’t whine here, where the fuck can I do it? Considering IRL, Nathan’s eyes keep glazing over.
I am finding things hard. I am pregnant (18 weeks tomorrow), I am tired, I am hormonal and fuck me, but did I mention the hormonal? Very very hormonal. Nathan is lucky to have any balls left and his only crime was to use his own computer in a free moment today.
[We will ignore the fact that in that particular free moment of his, I was half way through making dinner, Amy kept climbing onto the bench and throwing things to the dog, I had burned the white sauce and spilled enough milk to float a small ship]
So yes, hormonal and screechy.
***
To make it even worse, Amy has suddenly decided that TWO! is the new awesome and that she is going to be TWO! at every opportunity.
Shoot. Me. Now.
Tantrums, head banging (in order to hurt herself enough to have real tears and need real cuddles), whining, squealing, screaming, more tantrums and then more screaming until I honestly think my head will explode. Either that or my eardrums will. I find myself saying ‘quiet voices, we have quiet voices inside; I am listening, Amy, I AM LISTENING, what do you want?; Do NOT squeal at me; Take a deep breath and TELL me what you want’ all freaking day. I should just tape myself and play it back.
She doesn’t turn 2 for another 15 days, but apparently she is in training and has been for a month.
****
When you are at your wits end, it can be funny what nearly pushes you over the edge. Like today, I turned on my computer today, plugged it in and when I checked the battery it said ’0% charged. Plugged in, not charging.’
WTF?
And then, in the middle of trying to get my battery to charge (restart-check-shutdown-restart-check? Cross fingers and hope like hell check? FAIL) Mozilla ate my bookmarks.
I didn’t realise how naked I would feel without my list of bookmarks. And without the safety net of my battery.
I guess it just must be time to buy a new battery. HP Battery Check told me to.
**Updated, I managed to get my bookmarks back thanks to lots of help from Xbox4NappyRash. Go and love on him with comments for me.
***
Nan starts treatment on September 1st. I know I haven’t written much about it lately, but some things are just to big to blog about y’know? Aside from a few niggly aches, she is still as healthy and active as ever.
After treatment starts, I guess it is a wait and see process.
***
Nathan starts his new job tomorrow and I am thrilled, honestly, I am.
BUT.
But I know that I will be stuck at home, even more often than I was before. Even if I get my act together and get my license sooner rather than later, we still only have 1 car. And that one car is no good to me if Nathan has it for work and I am at home. By myself. Still.
I am not complaining about him working (because hello, it’s WORK) but I know I need to get myself together a bit more in order to cope. Lately I can’t seem to get it together enough to do anything, let alone do most of the housework/cooking by myself. With the toddler who is very much TWO!
To be honest, I enjoyed the 50/50 housework split that we had happening while he was home. And even while he was working nights.
Just somehow with this job I can’t see him getting to do much more than get home, eat dinner, play with Amy and go to bed.
There will be an adjustment period and I can’t see that being the easiest thing for me.
***
Amy’s climbing has gotten worse. Or better, depending on which side of this TWO! you are sitting on. Short of tying lead weights to her legs I have no idea what I can do to stop it. She won’t listen, she can climb on thin air and my benches are low.
Not a great combination.
Sigh.
But hey, I’m back, I’m blogging and I suppose I can always vent it out here, right? Right?
Is anyone still there?
Email to a friend
{ 36 comments }
I am here Honey and feeling for you, what an active little miss you have, perhaps I can smuggle her in my suitcase when I fly off to visit Michael in Sydney???
I’ll swap you the TWO! year old for my hormonal 11 going on 30 year old cos fuck me, but she’ll be lucky to make 12 at this rate (in eight weeks time)!
The job change settling in periods can be rough, but they don’t last forever. Remember to take things easy (TWO! year old permitting) and you’ll soon be in a new routine.
I hope your Nan’s treatment isn’t too rough on her (or the rest of you) hugs
Bettinas last blog post..Hijacked!
Sorry if this is more assvice than you maybe want but I’m offering these suggestions with the best of motives
Now, this sounds so much easier than it is to actually put into practise but . . ! You have to modify Amy’s behaviour now before baby makes his/her appearance otherwise you will completely lose the plot. Try setting aside a whole week where you do not do much in the way of housework or fancy cooking and really concentrate on stopping Amy from doing the ‘bad’ things and encourage some good things. See, sounds easy doesn’t it lol! With the climbing put her back on the floor every single time with a firm ‘NO’, if she persists or tantrums put her in her room. This is not a punishment, merely a ‘time out’ in a safe place. If the noise gets to be too much, use earplugs, walk away or use an i-pod to diffuse it, but do not give in as she will only learns that screaming loud and long enough means she can do whatever she pleases. Talk to her in a very quiet voice every few minutes and ask if she has finished yet as you have something nice to do when she is quiet. Reward her for doing good things with an extra story, DVD or lollies, or whatever suits you best. This IS achievable but it is very tiring. Persistence is the key. The good behaviour can be as simple as waiting quietly for a few minutes while you do something you need to do and Amy lets you complete your task without climbing or making a mess or throwing a tantrum, or it can be helping you to tidy up. Small steps at a time and she will learn. Bright children are frequently much harder work because they get bored and/or frustrated so easily. Find her some ‘jobs’ to do for you and reward them. You may be doing all of this already I know but maybe not consistently enough. Dealing with someone who is TWO, whilst pregnant, worrying about Nan and dealing with your CFS has got to be tough but it will be worse if things are still the same by next January. I had very similar problems with my younger son and as I had 2 babies to childmind at the same time he had to learn some self-control and this worked, honest. I’m not saying he changed into a little angel and we certainly had our share of relapses but, on the whole, things were a lot better. Good luck.
In the meantime, more hugs, Motherhood is a very hard place sometimes.
I’ll make room for you in the corner here…we’ve got triple choc choc chip bikkies, hot chocolate, chocolate ice cream and chocolate sprinkles.
Oh and the corner is inside a playpen so we’re safe from those who are TWO!
(((hugs))) for your Nan.
Jaynes last blog post..NZ kinder busted for loud music
Aw, honey, we’re all here for you. I just wish I was closer – Amy and I could go on “girls day out”.
Rees last blog post..A Day in the Life
“Fuck google, ask me”…
and this is MY corner….
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..The black humerus
Of course were still here. You have a lot on your plate. But you’ll be ok. Just take a deep breath and have a glass of win…oh no you cant do that your preggers than relax and light up a…oops no cant do that either. So take a really hot bath…nope a no on that too. Forget it panic!
Suzies last blog post..Never Wordless Wednesday
Rocking is good
Um, three is worse. Considerably. *ducks*
Mr Ladys last blog post..No, Really. I’ll Take a Cab. Thanks Anyway.
Lots of hugs, Veronica for you and your Nan. Eventhough it seems like Nathan won’t be there as much, he will be. It gets easier. Really, it does. I had three under the age of 5, the oldest was a whirlwind … my friend used the refer to the oldest two as “thunder and lightning”.
I feel for you .. I really do. Just “try” and take it easy. You will get through it (you may have a little more grey hair at the end though!).
Jenn FLs last blog post..Finishes
vent all you want hun..
thinking of you..
almost time to find out the sex of the baby.. YAY
Maddi has 9 teeth now..
thinking of you..
btw my blog is missing your love..
Tazs last blog post..43 Weeks Old
you can vent
Oh, this is so exactly my day. I hope you take some comfort in knowing that there is another pregnant woman out there breaking her husbands balls, exasperated with her toddler, and hiding behind mounds of laundry and dirty dishes while everyone goes hungry becaseu I can’t get a free second to cook dinner.
Today will better, right?
And thanks for the Nan update. You just have so much going on.
Jennis last blog post..Letting Go
Blow off the corner, I have a rock over her that you can hide under… just so long as you know that you have to share it with me and I don’t do dishes.
Plus, I guess you’ll be bringing Amy, so that’ll be three TWO! year olds (2 have been living the TWO! year old lifestyle for 9 months now, so they will quite possibly teach Amy some new tricks of the trade)
Actually, it’s a pretty small rock. Stay in your corner.
PS I love you. Keeping It Real.
PPS I have some water bombs and some red and blue paint, if you need it, to, you know, throw at Nathan.
What comes after PPS? Anyway, If you don’t want that for Nathan, then how about for his former bosses? Could be therapeautic?
No?
I’ll shut up now…
Still here
(Not going to mention that three is worse than two…). Bear is almost three – and I’m about to throw her out the window half the time (the other half is her smiling because she KNOWS she’s too damn cute to throw out the window).
Damn those children.
Good luck with the change of jobs. Change is hard – but at least you’ll have a sleep-healthy Nathan!!!
Tonis last blog post..Ugh
Ouch. Fucking OUCH!! I know something of what you’re going through. Annie used to say, (sometimes) when I got home from work on Friday, “Bye, bye asshole. I’m going out with Sandy and Carol. I’ll be drunk when I get home. Have fun with these two dickheads.” #1 was four and #2 was two. I found myself repeating, constantly, my favorite Bill Cosby quote – “I gave you life – I’ll take you out.”
lceels last blog post..The story so far …
you whine away,,,, we are here waiting for the whining to start…. well ok I am anyway. It will be fine… with him working, I know this is gunna just chap yoru butt but go for walks with that kid and wear her butt out!!!!!! set her outside and let her climb her little heart out… or you could send her oh wait no I am too far away sorry. ok just keep whining! It will NOT last forever…. promise…..
Just a moms last blog post..WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
That’s what we’re here for, right? To hear you… to give you a place to ‘put all that crap’ that’s inside and needs to get out.
First, I think Sharon’s advice is very, very good advice.
Second, I think you need to put N on alert (and not in a mean way, necessarily) that for the next weeks (or months!) meals will be self-served sandwiches or whatever anybody else wants to make. A can of soup with bread. Toast. Easy. This isn’t about creating wonderful meals, this is about you getting through any way you can and nourishing Amy with food that is not time consuming. Sometimes mommies need to get into “it’ll do” mode. It’ll do, because mommy needs that extra hour of meal prep for her sanity. This is the time in Amy’s life that she won’t remember the meals you labor to make. It’s the ONLY time it’ll be that way. After she turns 5, she’ll bitch at you constantly that everything you do is wrong and she’ll point out to you that you ARE NOT playing with her ENOUGH. Take TWO! while you can.
Get the venting out. Put it out here… so it’s not IN THERE.
You are such a doll. I hate hearing that you’re struggling.
I’m sending as much love and light to your Nan as I can muster.
Hey, I had a 4 and a half year old, a 13 month old and a newborn baby. And a husband who worked away for 6-8 weeks at a time and was only home for a week. And was fucking usless when he was home. Which is why I am now a single a mother. You cope. And I did it with no family around me at all. And I had a dodgy Gall Bladder which put me in hospital on numerous occassions with a breastfed baby and 2 others at home who I had to have friends look after. Apparently your wife in hospital on a morphine drip and a half drugged baby isnt really worth coming home for. Things get easier as they go along.
I’m still here, but I can’t offer any suggestions. U honestly don’t know how parents of tantrumming toddlers cope. Mine didn’t. They had bad moments and got themselves in trouble, but the only full blown tantrum any of us remember is K at age 3, when I was buying mixed lollies to share after tea. (dinner,supper)She wanted her own little bag of her favourite kind, I said No, we’re having mixed, but I’ll make sure some of your favourites are in there. Well, she carried on all the way home, (a 5 minute walk) then went to her room saying she wasn’t going to have any lollies at all. I thought for sure she’d change her mind, but even after she calmed down, she refused to share our mixed bag. I can remember minor fighting, teasing, etc, but that’s it. Days were hectic, with playing, cooking, housework and all, but altogether easy. Hubby was away a lot and we had a routine that seemed to suit all of us. This is not helping at all is it? All I can say is that 3 IS easier, because the child is at least more able to communicate verbally, so can say what she wants or doesn’t want. I agree with some of the other commenters about simpler meals (we ate a lot of baked beans, prepared in the morning, cooked in the afternoon casseroles, cakes and biscuits were baked after they were asleep until they were older), and the very firm NO and time out in her room to restrict the climbing and throwing of unacceptable things.
Oops, that should read “I” honestly don’t know….
(Obviously “U” DO know…..)
Still here sweety. I’ve been leaving the blogging alone for a lil bit because I just didn’t have anything I could write about to be honest.
Hope things get a little better for you soon honey. xxx
Marylins last blog post..Another post where I have nothing specific to say…
Still here. Hi! Sorry life is so rotten today. There are days, and weeks, like that. Here’s hoping Amy settles down a bit, you feel better a bit, and Nan’s treatment works much better than a bit.
Thinking of you…
The little boogers were made so cute so parents wouldn’t murder them. My younger was on the autism spectrum, and wasn’t that a right treat? I discovered that some foods made his behaviours escalate, and he was the healthiest eating child around after that.
I’m still here too, just going through my own load of crapola. Sorry life’s so hard on you lately…I’m sending you wishes for spa days and a real social life, and health for everyone, and maids to clean your house, and a peaceful two-year-old, although that last one…eh. It could happen…right?
AHHHH two-year-olds and their ANGST!
SusanBs last blog post..Thirty Years Later…
Wow, lots of people are still here!
I just wanted to say… lead weights = the best idea I’ve heard all day.
The horrible TWO! thing has come and gone for us. I definitely can tell the difference when I’m more patient with him, give him the time to do or say what he needs to, let him “help” me even when he’s actually making things harder. If I have the patience to do that, he’s much easier and less screechy and demanding. I don’t always succeed with the patience thing, though…
Ooh – ALSO – I notice a big difference when he’s watching a lot of TV! When he doesn’t watch any, he’s much easier to deal with. When he watches an hour or more a day, look out. He’s just a pain in the ass. If I were pregnant, though? He’d be watching a LOT of TV because I’d be doing a LOT of sitting on my ass!
KATs last blog post..Questionable Parenting Practices
I hope you’re doing better today. Checking in on you. I can’t say I understand because my first child was actually quite docile (I know! And yep, he IS a boy!!!) but the second one threw me for a loop.
Maybe this next baby will be a docile little boy? Fair warning, my docile little boy grew into a sweet and helpful teen… but he makes critical comments that are TOO on target. Yikes.
Mrs. Cs last blog post..After the Rain.
A wonderful Montessori teacher we had for our first child once explained the theory of periods of integration and disintegration that children go through. I can’t remember all the technical stuff, but he basic gist was that intergration (the good times) are from
1 to 1.5, 2 to 2.5 etc and the periods of disintegration (the bad times) are from 1.5 to 2, 2.5 to 3 and soon until they are 6. I have found this to be quite true with my 4 kids.
So from this long winded comment I guess I am trying to say that it will get better soon (hopefully).
PlanningQueens last blog post..He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 4)
Glad to see you’re blogging again
I really sympathise with the climbing! Connor is driving me beserk, but you’re not making me feel any better, I’d forgotten how bad it does get! LOL!
And wow at the 18 weeks, it’s flying! We need a pic of your tummy
Jentys last blog post..Moments with Daddy
Take a deep breath in and try to relax! I wish I lived nearby because I would come and keep you company!
nikkis last blog post..You’d think I was making this shit up
Nods and waves. My girls were 22 months apart… MPS was working on the other side of the state.
One piece of advice.
NEVER run out of chocolate.
Kelleys last blog post..Green is the word, the word that you heard.
Hello, beautiful mama. Just stopped by, thinking about you.
Kats last blog post..Just Another Boring Mommy Blogger
Just remember “this too shall pass” I feel for you!
Micheles last blog post..And…here is my darling!
*waves* I’m still here. Have you tried tripping her up every time she tries to climb on something? Also, either brandy or a gag for the tantrums. Actually, give her the gag, you have the brandy (just a wee nip of course)!
Barbaras last blog post..238/366 – Her Favourite and maybe His One Day
Just read this post- hubby back to work? Alone with a toddler? No driver’s license? Are you like my twin? I hope not, because I really don’t want to discover that I’m suddenly 20 weeks pregnant.
Lillys last blog post..34 Inch Pianist
I am a dad of two boys with autism, I look to your blog for current info! Thank You!
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