Month: April 2008

  • 52 Hours.

    It has been 52 hours since I last breastfed Amy.

    We didn’t plan it this way, but this is how it is happening. After a busy day yesterday, I found myself at 5pm without having fed Amy.

    So I let it go.

    When she asked for boobs shortly after that, I distracted her. Just to see if we could go a whole day without a feed.

    All day yesterday and all day today. No feeds.

    Amy tries to pull up my top and pats my chest saying ‘Boobies? Please?’

    I tell her my boobies have no milk left.

    She cries a little and snuggles in deep to my chest. Strokes my neck and then puts her hand into my top to assure herself that I am still Mummy. That my boobs are still there.

    It is breaking my heart.

    I know that if I don’t take this chance and run with it, we won’t be weaning anytime soon and while I am happy to keep breastfeeding, I really want to conceive and weaning is the only thing we haven’t done yet.

    I am sad. And worried.

    What happens if she gets sick? How am I supposed to deal with it without boobs? Boobs make everything better.

    But sad mostly.

    For my little girl who is growing up so fast. Who soon, won’t need ‘Mummy boobies!’ when she is tired or hurt or sick.

    I am missing my baby.

    I haven’t fed, or expressed since about 5pm on April 3rd. I have no idea what exactly I am doing or even if I really want to do this. Most people have a plan and drop one feed every few days. Me? I’m sailing by the seat of my pants and hoping to god this doesn’t blow up in my face.

    So I am sitting here with porn star sized boobs (okay, so they are a little saggier than porn stars boobs) and a heat pack on my chest. Great look, you should try it some time.

    Honest.

  • Six Words

    Susan from Momabetes (she also can be found at James and the Giant Moose) tagged me for a meme.

    I know, I know, you hate me. I hardly ever do memes.

    Instructions…

    1) Write your own six word memoir;
    2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like;
    3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere;
    4) Tag at least five more blogs with links; and
    5) Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

    Lets see, a 6 word memoir.

    Needs more sleep to function normally.

    No?

    Or we could try…

    May explode under stressful circumstances. Avoid.

    Or or or!

    Needs chocolate and hugs to function.

    But the one that seems to fit me best is…

    Amazing cook, indifferent housewife, fantastic mother.

    You can find examples of my amazing cooking here.

    My terrible housekeeping here.

    And my mothering skills here. (Okay so that link? Is more like my negotiation skills, but you know. Negotiation is a big part of motherhood, right?)

    So there! I am not going to tag anyone for this (heh, you know I just can’t be bothered doing all the links and all the comments right?), however I invite you to share your six word memoir in my comments. Or not. As you see fit.

    As a side note, Nathan and I just finished watching the movie Planet of Terror.

    There is alot (a freaking lot!) of gore and I watched a good portion of the movie with my eyes covered, but if you can cope with that kind of thing I highly recommend the movie.

    It is so fucking funny. I pissed myself laughing through most of it.

    Have you seen it? What did you think?

  • Ducks? Mmmmmm

    Kat asked me…

    Let’s see… how about this:

    1. How did you meet your man?

    This is too long of a story for today. I do promise to tell you guys one day though! Wait for it, it will probably take me 3 posts to tell the whole story.

    2. When you were a kid, what did you want to be and do when you “grew up”?

    I swore black and blue I wanted to be a vet. For years, I wanted to be a vet. Then I changed my mind and decided I wanted to be a chef. After completing part of a Certificate II in Kitchen Operations and working full time in a kitchen (towards an apprenticeship no less) I quit my job.

    I still love and adore working with food, but honestly, I don’t think I could be a chef and a mother. Not at this point in my life.

    Eventually, after the kids are all in school, I want to study nursing.

    3. Are you grown up yet?

    No. definitely not. I am 19 and I think I have a whole heap of growing up left to do. That said, I am mature (you can tell, right?) and I don’t enjoy alot of things people my own age do.

    4. What has been your most embarrassing moment with Amy so far?

    Well, how long do you have?

    I don’t get embarassed very easily. I tend to just laugh as Amy does stuff, I mean, how else would I cope? The funniest (albeit red face inducing) was the time Amy popped one of my boobs out in public. From the top of my shirt. In front of a group of teenage boys. As red as I went, I nearly pissed myself laughing at their faces.

    She also tells everyone out in public ‘Mummee boobies!’ and pats my chest.

    5. How much time do you spend reading/writing blogs every week?

    I used to spend alot more time than I do now. Since I moved into this house, I probably spend 2-3 hours a night writing and reading. My internet connection sucks, so I don’t get done nearly as much as I would like.

    This explains why if you are on blogger, you haven’t had a comment from me lately. It takes me ages to load the comment form and generally fails a good 4-5 times before my comment will go through. After 3 refreshes I tend to get impatient and swear I will come back later. then I forget.

    6. How many kids do you want to have?

    4. or 5, maybe. I want a big family. You know, when we finally get #2 happening!

    7. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?

    France, but not Paris. I want to see rural France and eat their food. I would also love to have ‘real’ sushi at a sushi bar in Japan.

    8. Who is your best friend?

    To be honest? Nathan. But if you are talking best ‘girl’ friend I don’t have one anymore. I miss having a BFF to talk to. Alot.

    9. Do you like ducks?

    Yes! Alot actually. Even though they are messy, noisy, bossy creatures, I really like ducks. I am actually wondering if getting a few muscovy ducks after winter would be such a bad idea. Although they would probably end up down at the river and NOT here giving me eggs and young ducks for the table. Hmmm, I wonder if there is any cash in raising ducks.

    10. Why?

    Because they give large delicious eggs. Because they are one of my most favourite roast meats.  Because I am always thinking about my stomach.

    As a side note, Amy ADORES ducks. She has a few books and some blocks with ducks on them and she loves them. I even caught her kissing the duck blocks the other day. Very cute.

    I have Burgh Baby’s question and answer half written in a draft. It was a tricky question and I need to answer it with my tact firmly at the front of my mind.

    If you like, you can ask me more questions. I promise to try to answer them.

    Also, if you have a spare moment, you should go check out this interview between Xbox4Nappyrash and Frogpondsrock. I nearly died laughing. Trust me, it is worth the click.

  • Got Nothing. Sorry.

    Humorous Pictures

    Nope, there is no blog inside my head today. Check back tomorrow for a ‘real’ post.

    I promise I will have something better.

    Hey! I have a good idea, if there is something you want me to write about, tell me in the comments. I will get my ass in gear and write it tomorrow for you. With linky love. Anything is game.

    Also, tomorrow I got my fast internet connected whci should mean that you see me about more often. if I haven’t been to visit you lately (because I SUCK badly and I am sorry) then feel free to let me know in the comments and I will rectify the situation. Mmmkay?