Last November, I participated in NaNoWriMo, writing 60k words of a novel in 30 days. It was hard, but rewarding and amazing at the same time. Sleepless Nights spent the month being neglected as I swapped my time between my novel, a tiny Evelyn, and everything else.
It wasn’t long afterwards that PND took up residence inside my psyche, making everything more difficult than it needed to be. I started meds, which saved my sanity and my marriage. Meds however, killed my creativity, even once I’d adjusted to them. I could still write, but it was harder to think of ideas and fiction was completely beyond me.
A little while ago, I tapered down my meds, before stopping entirely. I stayed on the meds until they began to make me feel the same way PND did.
This morning, I stood in the shower and had multiple ideas for what I wanted to write today. It had been months since I managed any good shower ideas, and honestly, I was so relieved to have my brain back – both from PND and from meds. I’ve also managed to cook again.
I missed this part of me.
Yesterday I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and wrote a flash fiction piece in response to a writing challenge. It was scary to write fiction again and scarier to publish it and share the link. But creativity is a great and scary thing.
I’m pushing myself. I’m coming back.
It feels good.
Tough prompt – but congratulations on flexing the writing muscle again!!
It must be so nice to feel more like yourself again.
Hooray for creative writing! Zombies and sex aren’t usually mixed, but you did it well. I almost expected Zombie Orgies and was glad it didn’t happen.
Yayyy!
So glad to hear this! And I loved the fiction. 🙂
Yay! I look forward to getting to the other side myself.
I can both relate and feel empathy for this transition back to creativity again. I weaned myself of antidepressants
as well for similar reasons and, also, they stopped doing the job they were meant to do. My physician agreed, it was rough, but worth getting back to feeling ‘myself’ again.
It took awhile for the side effects to disappear.They also masked another illness that I am trying to get on top of. Back to art and making was the greatest tool in all of this.
I think self expression is paramount, in words, paint, poetry, writing or song, whichever the means.
I think you express yourself very articulately (?) and I like the way you draw people into your everyday musings, with insight and compassion.
This entry was very powerful and evocative, as are your other blog enteries.
I reiterate: you have the spirit of a warrior poet and teller of narratives, with both strength and humour.
I wish for you continued strength and sustainability.
cheers, Krista
They won’t let me come off the drugs yet {Bipolar2, severe anxiety, depression – a trifecta}. I haven’t written a word of fiction since I started them. It’s been 4 years. I cry, just remembering how my brain used to fire and swell with ideas and words.
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