Author: Veronica

  • When a good uterus goes bad

    It’s interesting to visit both a public ob-gyn and then go visit a private one and then draw your conclusions about the health system from there.

    I saw a new, private Gyn on Monday.

    Honestly, it’s been a while since I walked out of an appointment that was for me, feeling like I had a plan and that I’d been listened to.

    To recap, my last appointment in the public system was a bit of a shambles. My periods are very irregular, insanely heavy and very painful, I’ve been trying to get someone to take my claims of suspected endometriosis seriously, and fighting the system every step of the way.

    So I went private, just to see if paying for the appointment would help with the whole listening thing.

    And oooooh boy did it.

    I told him my tales of woe, we talked about EDS a bit – but he knew enough about it that it was a conversation about my specific issues, rather than an educational speech on my part and then we got to the question and answers.

    Both my children were conceived within a month of coming off the pill. I’ve never managed a pregnancy on my own – even my brief foray into possible blighted ovum territory had had some help from the pill. I have acne and body hair, lots of cramping etc etc etc.

    He thinks it’s very likely that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. We’ll be doing some investigations to see if there is underlying Endometriosis as well, which is likely and he also thinks there is a good chance I have something called Adenomyosis, which is practically undiagnosable at 21, because our medical imaging systems aren’t sensitive enough to detect it in early stages.

    Which hey! I’ve always done health problems with style.

    Yes?

    Heh.

    He was lovely. I’ve spent so long battling the system to be taken seriously (7 years for an Ehlers Danlos diagnosis anyone?) that I had really forgotten that when doctors are good, they’re very very good.

    So, my uterus. It doesn’t work so well.

    I haven’t really talked about it here because SOMEONE is completely against the idea, but Nathan and I had been trying quietly to get pregnant. We had been trying since Isaac was about 5 months old and for anyone not counting, he’s 21.5 months old now.

    Almost 17 months.

    And nothing.

    However, when I told the public system that I’d been having trouble conceiving, they raised their eyebrows at me, looked at my age and the fact that I have 2 children and told me that there was no way, no how that I had fertility issues.

    When um, yeah, it’s sort of looking like I probably have some fertility issues.

    We’ve since stopped actively trying to get pregnant, Amy’s ASD issues and Isaac’s regression meant that we didn’t really have time to add another baby to the mix. But not actively trying and taking steps to avoid pregnancy are two different things. I still can’t take birth control and a latex allergy puts paid to condoms, so we’ve just been plodding along, waiting to see what happens.

    Which incidentally, appears to be nothing.

    It’s not surprising really, is it?

    So. Bloods have been taken to check for PCOS and I’ll have an ultrasound at my next appointment to check my ovaries (which at last ultrasound, sometime before I conceived Isaac, my ovaries were irregularly shaped and the sonographer asked if I’d been doing IVF, because they were much larger than they should have been) and various other things.

    Likely a laproscopy will be scheduled for sometime too, to have a look inside my uterus and see how it looks (I’m putting bets on black, gloomy and with little to no chance of sunshine) and then we’ll move on from there.

    And in the meantime, I’ll just try not to panic about how much this is all costing me.

    The private doctors might be good, but sheesh, they’re expensive too!

  • Sleepless Nights, now sleeker, more streamlined and squashed into a tiny little package

    I bought some shapewear. Otherwise known as spandex, tiny little figure squashing things that are infinitely tiny, or holy-mother-of-god-get-these-off-me.

    Take your pick.

    I’d thought about buying some for a while, but the whole ‘drop 2 dress sizes! look slimmer!’ thing turned me off. You see, as much as I’ve had 2 children and my tummy/hips/thighs look it – you can’t much see that under my clothes. I look okay, dressed.

    My issues is with my dislocating hips, knees and pelvis.

    So when I saw something advertised as being cellulite taming [which – aside, how do we tame cellulite? with a whip and a chair? train it to hang around on our boobs, not our tummy? I’m a little lost] I glanced at it.

    I was however more interested when I saw that this New! Revolutionary! material covered my kneecaps and entire hip region.

    Fuck it I thought and bought them.

    The first time squeezing into them, I wondered if they’d accidentally sent me an Amy sized pair instead. A quick look at the label told me I was wrong.

    I wriggled and I squeezed and I hopped around the bathroom swearing.

    All that effort, and they made it half way up my thighs.

    Amy looked at me quizzically.

    ‘Mummy. They won’t fit you.’

    ‘Yes. They will.’ [struggle struggle, hop, wiggle moan]

    Something that I’d bought to help stop my hips dislocating was rapidly in danger of dislocating the rest of me, getting it on.

    ‘They just need to‘ – pant pant, breathe, sigh –‘stretch!’

    Eventually, a few clicky finger joints later, I had them all lined up. The crotch was sitting where it’s meant to, the band at the top was cutting off my breathing and eating ability and I felt like I was being cradled in the grip of a killer bear, about to squash the life out of me.

    They were on.

    I turned around a few times and wriggled.

    Yeah. Totally sexy.

    Then, the ultimate test.

    Not like some people, I didn’t need to be able to fit into a certain dress and whilst my cellulite was definitely tamed, so was my ego – no. I needed to be able to walk without my hip clicking out of joint and subluxing about.

    And….

    Success!

    I can walk without my pelvis falling apart! Sure, breathing is a little tricky and it feels like I’m wearing a second skin that is 2 sizes smaller than my normal one – but my hips are staying in place.

    And that my friends is definitely something to celebrate.

    I just don’t know how I’m going to go taking the bastard cellulite taming things back off again.

  • I hatched a duck egg in my bra. No, really.

    My duck had her babies last week – sadly, 2 didn’t make it and died despite my best efforts.

    On Friday, she left the nest with her eight surviving ducklings in tow and I checked the eggs left behind. Only to find one just pipping, with an alive duckling still inside.

    I wasn’t impressed that she’d left it there and I’m too compassionate to let anything die if I can help it, so I brought it inside.

    After finding it rather hard to keep warm in a box with heat packs, I gave up and tucked it in my bra.

    Where the duck poked and prodded and eventually, started to emerge.

    A few hours later, the hole was even bigger.

    Well. A little bigger at least.

    The hatching was very slow going and at 6pm, I remembered that I had a broody hen, without any eggs. So I popped the duckling under her to keep warm overnight.

    However, the problem is, often chooks will peck to death anything that they hatch that isn’t a chook itself. Shame, but it’s how it works.

    So at 8am Saturday morning, I went and checked my duck.

    And it still hadn’t hatched.

    I picked it up, still in it’s shell, with a hole about an inch across and looked at it. Struggling strongly still, the shell had dried out under the hen and the duckling had no hope.

    A little bit of warm water, a few hours later and some serious help from me…

    SUCCESS!

    It did the final hatch in a box with it’s sibling. Before I went and stole the egg back from the hen, I found a duckling, supposedly dead in the shed. Cold and stiff, it’s foot twitched when I picked it up.

    I wasn’t sure it would survive, but tucked it inside my top to warm up, while I went about the morning chores.

    Coming back inside, I handed the half hatched egg to Nathan to keep warm and made up a batch of sugar water to hopefully perk up the 95% dead duckling that was unresponsive.

    20 minutes of heat late (some of it from the hair dryer), some sugar water and a warm box later, the duckling was looking like it might just live.

    They’re bloody tough.

    I left both ducklings in the care of Nathan while I went into the city for a twitter meet up and when I came home, they were doing brilliantly.

    Here they are Saturday night.

    We had some issues with the little one with the black dot on it’s head – the mother got them wet too early and I think it caught a chill. It’s needed reviving a few times, but it appears to be getting a bit better now.

    We’ll keep feeding them and babying them when they need it.

    I mean, how could I not?

    ***

    Unfortunately, we had a major problem with our ‘older’ ducklings – they managed to get into the big bathtub and couldn’t get back out again. I was appalled to find ten dead in the bath yesterday morning and angry with myself, because I’d meant to put a plank of wood in the bath and just hadn’t gotten around to it. I didn’t think they could make it into the bathtub yet.

    They managed to jump the 12 inches to get into the bath, but couldn’t manage the 3 inches to get out of it again.

    I’m so angry with myself still. The poor babies.

    Needless to say, there is now a plank in the bathtub, so any other babies finding their way in will be able to get out again. This joins the standard ‘bricks in the water’ that all the shallow and low down containers had to prevent drownings. Next time I won’t just assume that they can’t jump up to the bath yet. Because obviously they could and did and well, fuck. The guilt.

    Sigh.

  • Sharing the Love #1

    A long time ago when I first started blogging, things felt different. I found a few blogs I liked and from there, clicked through their blogrolls, subscribing to blogs along the way.

    Slowly I gathered around me a group of women who commented here, who loved on me and who were generally amazing all around. I did the same thing for them. As well as that, we shared our traffic and our readers and slowly slowly, we formed a ‘group’.

    I look back over my blog for the last 3 years and while I’ve still got a blogroll, I rarely link to other bloggers just to share the love. I don’t write a quick post to say ‘I found an amazing blog and you should read them too’ anymore. And looking around, not many people do anymore. Of course we all still link, but posts dedicated to sharing the love? I’m not seeing them as often.

    And really, I miss them. Because while I loved getting linked and an influx of different traffic, it was even nicer to click to a friends blog and find her recommending a new read and finding amazing blogs this way. I’ve also noticed a downfall in blogrolls lately, not so much on the newer blogs, but on slightly older ones – ones who have been accused of favouritism by having a blogroll. I miss blogrolls.

    I asked on twitter a few days ago for recommendations for blogs and while I got some great new blogs to add to my reader, I was also underwhelmed by the response. Surely we’ve all got an absolute favourite that we’d like to share?

    So. I thought about it and I’d like to instigate a thing, wherein I write a post once a month, telling you about a blog I’m reading and why I love them.

    Ideally, I’d love if other people would join in and write about their favourite blog too and then we’d all link up – but I’m not sure it would turn out like that.

    The idea is simply, sharing the love. Letting your readers know about someone they should be reading too, if they aren’t already. I think finding new-to-me blogs this way will be easier and more fun too.

    So, first blog for me:

    Failure to Nap.

    Statia has been blogging for a very long time, nearly 10 years and a few different domain changes type long. A looong time. There are 8 years worth of archives on Failure to Nap, so if you’re after some decent blog reading…

    I found her blog via Shannon, a little while ago (I forget how long) and subscribed immediately. She’s funny and she’s real and she says fuck a lot. What more can I want?

    Even more, now that we’re dealing with the whole aspergers thing, it’s been lovely to bug the shit out of her, asking questions about her son and how she copes with various behaviours. Statia’s run the gauntlet of infertility to fall and stay pregnant with her son, and then was surprised to find herself pregnant the natural way soon after with her daughter, who is now a full blown TODDLER.

    Plus, anyone who allows me to get a good bitch about blogging out of my system is a winner, in my opinion. She’s one of four women I can bitch to, without worrying about what they’ll think – probably because we think similar things.

    So, anyway, you should read her because she’s awesome.

    ***

    If you’re playing along with share the love, add your link in the comments and I’ll link you up here. No, we don’t have a button, but if someone is offering? I’ll be in that. The idea will be to link to a blog you love monthly and tell your readers why they should subscribe.

    Also, picture was shamlessly stolen from Statia’s header. I think she’ll forgive me. I hope so.

    ***

    Others sharing the love:
    Frogpondsrock
    …from Toushka
    Our Park Life
    Kebeni
    Drovers Run
    Picklebums
    BabbleOn
    This Mid 30’s Life
    College and a Novel
    Gluten Free Soy Free
    Drifting Through Life
    Play, Eat, Learn, Live
    In Search Of
    Ramblings of a Broken Hearted Mummy
    Mm is for me
    The Tensile Times

    Leave a link to your post detailing a blog you love in the comments and I’ll add it here for you.

  • I feel like the Pied Piper

    Inevitably, when I walk out into the big yard, the poultry notice and hoping that I’ll feed them, they follow me around.

    It doesn’t matter that I’m going to take photos, I might have FOOD!

    Food? Do you have food?

    One of the ducks even hops off her eggs to follow and see if the wheat will be forthcoming.

    As I get closer to the fenceline, the mother duck notices me and abandoning her ducklings, flies in to land at my feet.

    A trail of ducklings follows, running frantically and peeping the whole time. A few overbalance and crash, landing on their beaks and making me laugh.

    As I continue away from them, they follow, running around in circles and growling at me when I merely take photos and don’t magically produce wheat.

    They all stop to grumble at the lack of wheat and lack of movement on my part. Even the cat has followed me by this point (back left corner).

    Of course, my movements as I return to the house makes them all hopeful again as they weave around my feet, worse than a pile of puppies.

    This was during the afternoon, they’d already been fed for the day. Of course I, being the soft hearted person that I am went and got a few handfuls of wheat to scatter. And then I spent some time bothering the ducklings by handling them during feed time.

    Some mornings, my entrance to the big yard is heralded by a sea of poultry towards me, a moving seething mass, clucking and peeping, hoping that I’ve got wheat.

    It’s good fun.