You know your toddler has been watching too much ‘Chicken Run‘ when she picks up the axe to carry around saying ‘It’s chickens! It’s chickens!’
Yes. There is a scene in Chicken Run with an axe that I think she has paid too much attention to.
[Oh and YES, we did remove the axe from her reach, right after we finished laughing.]
A few of my readers are about to become first time mothers and they mentioned that they were pleased I was blogging my new mother stuff. Now admittedly, because Isaac isn’t my first, it isn’t such a steep learning curve this time.
I thought though, that maybe some people would benefit from a list of random advice I could put together. So here is my slightly skewed version of what you need as a new mother. Also, it’s out of order. I’m typing this with a sleepy feeding baby on my lap, forgive me.
Invest in a bunch of baby blankets that you can use as wraps. I originally bought muslin wraps, knowing that Isaac would be born in Summer. That said, I find myself using a stretchy cotton weave blanket MUCH more often than I ever pull out the muslin ones. Stretchy seems to work better for him because it leaves him some wiggle room without leaving him free to startle. I started with 2, I now have 6 and generally wash 2 a day.
Speaking of which, newborn babies startle quite often, mostly over nothing. It doesn’t always mean they are waking up. This is why swaddling/wrapping is so good.
Don’t bother buying outfits for ‘good’. Likely your baby will outgrow them before they have worn them more than 2-3 times. Instead, invest in the all in one suits. LOTS of them. Your baby will puke often and you will go through more of these than you think you will. I have about 15 of them currently in rotation through the wash and drier and that is with me doing at least 2 loads of washing every day.
Buy a cot/bassinet and have them set up. That said, be fully prepared to co-sleep. Actually, be prepared to sleep where ever/whenever you can. This time around Nathan volunteered to move out of our bed, with Amy he got all pissy about it, but seriously, sleep is worth a pissy partner. When Isaac is a little bigger, I fully intend to set the cot up with 3 sides like I did for Amy so I can have the best of both worlds.
Even before your baby comes, have some nappy rash cream on hand. If your newborn develops a nappy rash, the last thing you want to be doing is heading to the shops to buy some while their little bum hurts. Prevention is so much better than cure. I have Bepanthen and Sudocrem that I use in rotation. Bepanthen is lanolin based and Sudocrem is zinc based. Even better? Both of these can be used on your nipples if they crack.
Nipple care: Use the nappy rash creams for any cracks, grazes or uncomfortable bits.
Breastfeeding. Amy was the easiest dream baby to breastfeed. No cracks, no pain. Isaac however? I spent his first month telling everyone that I was so thankful he was a second baby and I knew what I was doing. He was difficult to latch and he cracked my nipples early. Sunlight, breast milk, air drying and healing creams all helped with the cracking. That said, every other feed was uncomfortable up until a little while ago. We weren’t doing anything wrong, my nipples were just being more sensitive this time.
Have ice packs and heat packs on hand for engorgement. Heat before a feed to help the milk flow and ice afterwards to help the swelling and pain. Newborn baby nappies make pretty awesome ice packs. Just fill them with water and freeze.
For immediately post partum, make sure you have a ton of maternity pads and underwear that you are comfortable throwing away. I bled through 4 pairs of underwear in my first night after Isaac and I’m not counting the amount of pads I changed.
For a vaginal delivery:
Use ice on your perineum for the first 24 hours after your baby. Trust me, you NEED to. Also, painkillers are your friend. Warm water will help to ease stinging after you pee as well.
Pelvic floor exercises!!! Do them!!!
Take your own soft toilet paper into the hospital. Hospital stuff is scratchy and the last thing you need.
Bi-carb soda in a few inches of warm water will help to ease stinging and itching. Salt water will help with the healing process, although it will sting. Don’t try it in the first few days.
I haven’t had a C-section, but I hear that the advice is: painkillers often, don’t lift anything heavier than your newborn and remember to ask for help if you need it. Also, more painkillers. Support your incision with a pillow if you need to cough or sneeze and MORE PAINKILLERS. Sheesh, you just had major abdominal surgery, take the offered drugs.
Your baby doesn’t need much stuff. Somewhere to sleep, clothes, nappies, food and cuddles. Really, that’s it. Some things make life a lot easier though.
A change table. Mine is a plasticky fold up one, but it saves my back on regular occasions. Even better, when your baby is bigger and you don’t use it as often, it can be folded up and chucked into storage.
I use my bouncer every single day. Mine looks somewhat like this one. Isaac sleeps in it of a day time and it is SO handy to have something to put him down in when he isn’t a big fan of laying down completely flat when there are things to DO and SEE!
If you are bottle feeding, you will need about a dozen bottles and something to sterilise them in. Again, I don’t know anything much about bottle feeding, sorry. Hopefully some one else can jump in with advice about bottle feeding!
AND….
That is about it for now! Feel free to add your own advice in the comments!
So.
– I ended up taking the kittens down to the cats home. I don’t have the energy to bottle feed them and yet I somehow couldn’t just let them die. They are now in the best place possible and guess what? I don’t have any cats anymore.
Which would be FINE had not a family of goddamn mice moved into the ceiling above my bed.
– Isaac is still not sleeping anywhere that isn’t my boob. On the occasional occasion that I can get hom to lay down in the bed, he needs my little finger in his mouth in order to sleep.
And NO, Daddy’s finger will NOT work, neither will Nanny’s or a dummy. For the love of all that is good and sleepy I wish he would take a dummy.
– Updated the blogroll to fix some GLARING omissions. However, due to my sleepless state, I am pretty sure that I have overlooked somebody. Let me know if it’s you? Or if I am on yours and you can’t see yourself on mine, for goodness sake speak up and I will add you.
And yeah, that’s about it. I have some posts swimming in my head, but articulation is not my strong point when I haven’t had any sleep (Isaac didn’t go down until midnight when we both fell asleep breastfeeding, Amy was awake at 1am, which meant that I had to remove Isaac from my boob, prompting crying, then he was up and down to 6am. By the time I got him back to sleep at 7am, Amy was awake for the day. I need more chocolate.)
I awoke early this morning with Isaac snoozing soundly – still at my breast and a crick in my neck from where I had been sleeping sitting up all night. It wasn’t yet dawn, so I wiggled him over to his side of the bed and swaddled him, before arranging my pillows and attempting to fall back asleep.
A minute later, my soundly snoozing boy was wide awake, well aware that he had been moved and he was more than willing to let me know how unhappy he was at this fact.
And this is how my days and nights go.
Isaac is more than happy to sleep, just provided that he is sleeping on my chest or breast without interruption from me or anyone else. Woe is Isaac if I try and put him down for just a moment to do anything minor in his eyes, like pee or eat. Unfortunately for Isaac, using the toilet and eating are kind of neccessary to my survival and therefore, his.
It would maybe be easier to be a human pillow all the time if there was another human pillow that Isaac would be content to swap me with. Say, maybe the other human who helped give him life. But no, apparently I am the only one who will do. Some days I would be more than happy to stagnate on the couch, with nothing more to do than change nappies, breathe in the smell of a warm baby and breastfeed, but there are two other people in this house, plus me and things need doing. Which, yet again apparently only I can do.
So, this morning I awoke with a baby on my chest and after trying to move him, 10 minutes later he was back on my chest and fast asleep while I made the best of it and dozed myself. I’m tired, I’m strung out, my breast is still sore and there are these two short people who need every ounce of me that I have to give.
No matter that they have another parent. A PERFECTLY GOOD other parent, who has changed his working hours in order to be home nearly all day every day, who gets a PERFECTLY GOOD amount of sleep each night and should in theory be PERFECTLY GOOD at changing nappies and giving cuddles and preparing sandwiches.
Heh.
I’m thankful it’s Sunday and Nathan doesn’t work today at all.
I’m thankful that I went into town with Nathan while he worked yesterday and managed to cope for 3 hours alone with both children – Amy in the stroller, Isaac in the sling, not a playground in sight and I didn’t go insane or lose Amy. God knows I needed to get out of my house. This SAHM thing would be a lot easier if the staying home part wasn’t exactly what we do every day.
***
I’m also feeling a little strung out, because the mother of our kittens disappeared 6 days ago. Hit by a car? Caught in a trap? Shot? We don’t know. We do know that her five kittens were much to young to be weaned, although we are trying to make the best of it.
Unfortunately we started with five kittens and are down to three today. Seven killed two by ‘playing’ too hard. Unfuckingfortunately she two she killed were two of the kittens who had mastered the eating of food and weren’t doing too badly at all.
I now have 3 kittens living in my bathtub [so they can’t make too much mess, they haven’t mastered cleaning themselves yet] hampering my showering and keeping me on tenterhooks as I keep them alive by the skin of their teeth. Yesterday I was hopeful that all three would survive, they were healthy and active and LOUD and not having too many issues with their eating.
This morning I am worried about two of them and wishing I had the equipment and the inclination to bottle feed them. There is something that goes against every bone in my body to be all ‘come what may’ and let them take their chances. Dammit, I don’t want to let them die, no matter how much easier that would be; for me now and in the long run.
Sigh.
Equipment –
Medium mixing bowl
A sharp knife and a butter knife (not shown)
Mixing spoons and cups
An oven tray, greased
A cheese grater
The Cast of Characters-
1 ½ cups of self raising flour
1 cup of grated cheese
1/3 cup butter
400ml (approx) milk
3 stalks rosemary
½ tspn salt
Preheat the oven to 220C (200C if using a fan forced oven) 430F
Place the flour and butter into a large mixing bowl together
Using only the tips of your fingers, rub the butter into the flour, until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs.
Strip the rosemary stalks by grasping firmly at the top and running your fingers down the stalk.
Chop the rosemary finely with a sharp knife.
And add to the flour mix, along with the grated cheese.
Stir through gently and then add around half the milk.
Grab a butter knife and using a cutting motion, mix the milk into the flour. You will probably need to add a little more milk, but don’t let the mixture get sloppy. You are looking for a dough consistency.
This is about half mixed. Remember if it is too dry you can add a little more milk, or if it is too wet you can add a little more flour. DON’T OVER WORK THE DOUGH! Or your scones will end up tough.
Turn the dough out onto a floured bench and using a rolling pin (or in my case a glass bottle) roll the dough out to be about an inch thick. Mine is a little thin.
Using a cutter, cut rounds out of your scone dough. I used a well floured glass to cut mine.
Grab the scraps and ball them all together.
Roll them out and cut more rounds. Make sure you use up all your scraps!
Place the scones onto a greased tray, making sure they are touching, even if this means you don’t use the whole tray. Brush them with a little bit of milk and put them in the oven for about 15 minutes, or until golden brown on top.
Serve warm with butter.
Enjoy!