Wakeful baby. Is wakeful.
It’s 11.35pm and I am awake with Isaac.
[Updated: it is now 12.09am and he has successfully nommed himself to sleep. Think of me as I move us both from the loungeroom to bed]
Now if I was more together, this post would be coupled with a photo, but cut me some slack. I just went to change Isaac’s nappy and I am so tired I forgot HOW to change him, half way through the change. In fact, I think I may have forgotten that I was changing him at all. I don’t quite remember now. I know that I eventually remembered what I was doing and his little bum is now all parceled back up.
And boobs! He wants BOOBS, RIGHT NOW plskthnx.
Couple this with the flailing and the om nom nomming and the wiggling and the snuffling and oh god did I mention the flailing?
He’s a good baby though, especially of a daytime when other people can see him. He naps like a champion – in my arms – my naked boob right in front of his mouth just in case he needs a little more. He is content for whole minutes at a time, so long as he is Up! And looking about! And being talked to! Less content if he is down in his bouncer at ankle level. I can only imagine that the fun things to look at do not reside at ankle level.
He doesn’t cry much either, but then he is only 3 weeks old and if I recall, it took Amy about 5 weeks to find her voice. Some days I wish she would lose it again.
And the best bit? He stays mostly asleep overnight, waking only to feed. He is however, the noisiest, fussiest sleeper I have ever seen. He snores, he fusses, he snuffles and growls. He also seems to need the tip of my little finger in his mouth all night.
I am still trying to work out what is better; a pink and wrinkled little finger that has been sucked on for hours, or a soggy nipple that has had the same thing happen to it.
Needless to say, I’m not exactly sleeping lately.
To be honest, it’s not exactly the easiest time to be dealing with constant breastfeeding and entirely sleepless nights (although, it does mean my blog name is good for a little while yet). Nan’s tumour has grown. Lots. And faster than we expected too. After the great news in November that it had shrunk so much, it’s now back and spreading.
Not content to do what most cancer does though, her cancer has spread to her heart. Not something we were expecting. If it had of spread, the liver ‘should’ have been it’s next port of call. Funnily enough, her liver is clear and healthy. Heh.
The crappiest bit though? Yeah, there isn’t anything left that they can do. Chemotherapy will just make her sicker – and the radiation that she had before isn’t an option anymore. (She developed Radiation Pneumonitis from the last lot, therefore, no more.)
It’s shit. Actually, it fucking sucks. It all fucking sucks.
The doctors are saying three to six months. Knowing Nan, we are counting on twelve. Still not enough. No where near enough.
It’s not meant to be like this.
***
Also, does anyone know how to get lanolin based nappy cream out of toddler hair? I have shampoo’d it once, but then Amy tipped the entire bottle of shampoo into the bath water and etc etc, so I didn’t get around to shampooing it a second time. She had a severe case of naughty today. Sigh.
Will try and shampoo it again in the morning.
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Finally, remember that Nan reads my blog, so keep that in mind when you are commenting. She might just decide to growl at anyone that gets too morbid.
