Author: Veronica

  • Christmas

    We aren’t buying gifts for anyone this Christmas except for Amy.

    Now just let me read that sentence over again while I wait for the guilt to subside.

    It’s taken me a while – and lots of whinging to Nathan – to come to terms with why I alternately feel compelled to not buy for anyone except our daughter and then within the same moment, feel incredibly guilty that we aren’t buying for anyone else.

    Part of our decision came down to money. Nathan and I both have large families and to buy for everyone just ends up much too expensive for us.

    It doesn’t help that I am notoriously tight with money, taking a long time to actually make a decision to buy anything big (it took weeks of contemplating a Dyson before I was ready to say ‘Yes, let’s buy one’ and then we bought it with money we had put away).

    The other part of our decision came down to my annoyance with the commercialisation of Christmas. I don’t want to spend every year trying to outdo myself with gifts and decorations. I don’t want or need that kind of stress. I don’t want people to expect anything from me except good food and company, because good food and company I can always do.

    I don’t want to make myself crazy making sure that no one is forgotten.

    It’s much easier just to remember Amy.

    Much easier.

    I will still be making biscuits and truffles, wrapping them in cellophane and giving them for gifts. I will still be making something to take to Nan’s for Christmas lunch.

    So really, everyone will still be getting gifts, they just won’t be getting things I have bought. Instead, it will be things I have made with my own two hands and sometimes I wonder if that is enough.

    Common sense tells me that of course it is enough, but I worry that I will go to all the effort of making these things – while 9 months pregnant – only to have them pale in comparision of gift wrapped stuff from shops.

    Am I being stupid? Probably.

    But that doesn’t change anything, I’m still not buying presents regardless of how conflicted I feel about it.

    What are you doing for Christmas? What are your plans for gift giving? Who do you normally buy for?

    If you don’t celebrate Christmas I would be even more interested to know what you do celebrate. How do you deal with a holiday season that seems completely skewed towards a Christian holiday? Do you mind me asking?

    (I’m not a religious person by any means, Christmas for me is about good food and good company and a tree and tinsel, not so much about the religious significance.)

  • Neglected

    Now I know that I have been neglecting this blog terribly, but really, is that any reason for over 50 people to unsubscribe? Really?

    Hmmph.

    I will try and get something of substance up later today, okay? Just bear with me here.

  • Behavioural Issues

    I feel like I’m at my wits end.

    And to be honest, I wasn’t even going to blog about it, because it’s more of a hunker down and deal with it type thing, than a whinge about it on the Internet type thing.

    Amy has forgotten how to listen. I know that it’s all about her being TWO! and exerting her independence to either listen to me or not, but it is driving me mad. If I sit her down and make eye contact and make her listen, it immediately dissolves into a tantrum.

    Her tantrums aren’t that hard to deal with honestly. They generally involve some stomping and some throwing of herself on the ground silently. Sometimes they involve crying, but we ignore tantrums so she knows that they don’t work.

    Hence the silent throwing herself on the ground ones. I think they just her way of getting her shit back together again. 2 minutes of laying on the ground with her head hidden and BAM, she’s good to go again.

    But the not listening. Oh my word, the not listening.

    I feel like a broken record as I tell her not to do something 100 times and she still goes ahead and does it.

    Like not jumping on me.

    Or climbing onto the bench.

    Or pulling the books out of the bookshelf.

    Or emptying her entire toy box on the floor and then refusing to help pick them back up.

    Or jumping/kicking/sitting on the dog.

    Or any of the other hundreds of things that Toddlers just do to drive us mad.

    I know that alot of it is simply me being out of energy and patience, but those things aren’t her fault (okay, they are a little bit her fault, but she can’t help that).

    We’ve reinstated time outs for poor behaviour (she had stopped needing them because just the threat of time out worked).

    I’ve cut almost all sugar out of her diet.

    There is to be no more cordial or juice given as drinks, she can have water or nothing. She is allowed milk, but only from a regular cup and only 1cm at a time as I am sick of her sipping and spitting the milk all over the house.

    No giving in to nagging, no matter how much easier it might be.

    And the big thing, no more milk overnight. I’m sick of her waking every 2-3 hours to let me know her milk is empty and needs filling. I stopped breastfeeding overnight more than 12 months ago to stop night wakings, not to just replace them with a sippy cup.

    We stopped milk overnight 2 nights ago and mostly she has been sleeping better. Ish. Really, with Amy better is a relative term.

    So fingers crossed that some of these things start to pay off soon.

    [It’s not all bad though, she is still cuddly and snuggly, gives kisses on demand and will talk about whatever is bothering her once prompted to ‘talk to me, tell me what’s wrong, don’t just cry/whine/yell’. Plus, she has the mother of all colds so she hasn’t exactly been feeling 100%. Funnily enough, I was sure her cold was getting better, but last night and today she has practically drowned me in snot. Not fun]

    While we’re talking about behavioural issues, I should really mention Seven.

    Seven was a difficult dog to toilet train, but recently she had been really good.

    Recently, as in, up to 3 days ago.

    3 days ago, Seven starting shitting inside again.

    Now, my answer to that was simply ‘Fuck it, I cannot deal with this, dogs go OUTSIDE.’

    However, that didn’t exactly work, because yesterday, as Nathan and I cleaned up the study, while we were IN THE ROOM, she shat inside 3 times. Within an hour.

    I would have killed her. Nathan was much gentler than I would have been and I don’t know if that is a good thing or not.

    This morning I woke up to find dog shit on the bathroom floor AND underneath the table in the dining room. This despite me putting her outside at midnight, 3am, 6am and 8am when we got up for the day.

    Nathan reckons that it is because the cat and kitten have been sleeping inside. He seems to think that it’s territorial.

    I don’t disagree. Not exactly.

    But the cat and kitten have been inside for nearly 3 weeks now, if it was territorial, wouldn’t she have started it 3 weeks ago, not 3 days?

    Sigh.

    So here I am. Venting. I am out of energy and patience. I just want Seven to stop it and be good and stop the constant fucking whining already. I just want Amy to listen and talk and behave without me having to stand there and MAKE you behave.

    I want it to be easy.

  • Discombobulated

    I’ve been a bit discombobulated this week so far.

    It started with a midwives appointment Monday. I’m still measuring small for dates (about a month behind) but my uterus is showing growth so there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.

    And I wasn’t worried, knowing that I had measured small with Amy and that I felt bigger this time. Until I looked at my hospital appointment records from Amy’s pregnancy and realised that ‘hey! sure I measured small with Amy, but I’m measuring even smaller with this kid, even if I feel bigger and wtf?’.

    So yes, a full 2 weeks behind where I was measuring with Amy and 4 weeks behind where I should be. Also, the baby has moved from being head down, to being sideways and seriously baby, my sides are not simply there for your stretching and strengthening exercises. Please refrain from trying to kick your way out. My sides are not an exit. Trust me, when the time comes, you should hopefully be able to find the exit easily.

    Then on Tuesday, Nathan was given a weeks notice at work.

    WHAT?! I can hear you saying? Yes. The job that he started 3 months ago after being fired* from his other job, just fired him for no good reason.

    [His shirt wasn’t ironed on one occasion. He didn’t pick up a bit of bread in a walkway that wasn’t supposed to have had anyone in it. Uhm, yep, that sounds like the entire litany of complaints against him]

    Unfortunately, because he was a new worker and his 3 month ‘trial’ period was nearly up, we can’t do a thing about it. Funnily enough, his sacking happens at exactly the same time that his boss lost a large contract elsewhere and needed somewhere new to put his workers who were working at the old place.

    Sigh.

    Luckily, before I had too much time to stress myself into a frenzy, Nathan had made a few phone calls to ‘people he knows’ and he now (24 hours later) has a new job lined up. But honestly we didn’t need the stress.

    Then today, just as I am getting my head around Nathan starting a new job in a week or so, Amy decided to finger paint herself with yogurt.

    I mean, sure, in the scheme of things yogurt finger painting isn’t that big of a deal, but I would have much preferred that she eat the damn yogurt, rather than request it and then paddle in it.

    And the cat keeps leaving her kitten alone for hours and hours while she galivants about, content in the fact that I won’t let the toddler or the dog maul him. Leaves him for hours and hours, until he starts to mew wildly about being hungry and cold and bored and hungry and then I have to go and find the stupid mother cat (who is actually quite a good mother, it’s just that the kitten is still living inside and I am so over it).

    *deep breaths*

    Plus, on top of all that, Amy continues to wake at 4am and not go back to sleep until around 5.30am, needing patting and cuddles every 10 minutes or so, meaning that I am in and out of bed in the cold, unable to sleep while she sorts herself out enough to go back to sleep. It’s not something I am enjoying. More to the point, I can’t even blame her cold because she has only had the cold for 2 days, while the sleep issues have been happening for 2 weeks now.

    Right. Yes. So, discombobulated.

    How have you been?

    ****

    Also, new theme. Any issues? Does it take too long to load?

    ****

    *I say fired, but we actually just won our unlawful dismissal case against his former employers.

  • The Day A Kitten Fell Out Of The Sky (kinda)

    So remember last week I promised to tell you all about how I wound up with a kitten in my bathroom cupboard?

    Well…

    November 11th.

    The morning of November 11th, my tabby cat (as yet unnamed) was pregnant. She had spent the last few nights yowling to get inside and nesting every time she was in here. Nathan didn’t believe she was nearly big enough to be ready to give birth, but I argued, saying that she wouldn’t be complaining quite so much if she wasn’t. I suspected that she was only pregnant with 1 kitten and REALLY just wanting to give birth under our bed.

    So, in the morning she was pregnant still. You could tell, she was fat and swollen and grumpy. Not surprising really.

    However, that afternoon when I went outside to feed them, she wasn’t fat anymore.

    I went to get Nathan to confirm my suspicions.

    ‘Uhm, hun? You know the tabby cat? She’s not pregnant anymore’

    ‘What do you mean she isn’t pregnant anymore?’

    ‘I mean, she isn’t pregnant anymore. Come see and double check for me though’

    ‘You’re right, she isn’t pregnant anymore’

    ‘I TOLD you she was ready to give birth’

    ‘Well… maybe…. heh…’

    We debated whether the kitten that she had birthed was still alive, as there was no sign of it and she was sitting on our kitchen doorstep asking to be fed. We figured it would either turn up, or it wouldn’t.

    Yes I know, we’re not really the most optimistic couple.

    Nathan did look at me strangely though as I wandered around the yard ‘just checking’ all the likely spots that a kitten may have been hidden.

    [Old shed? Not that I could see. Under the house? Not that I could see. etc]

    An hour later, I went to the toilet and completely freaked out because I could HEAR a kitten mewing. I finished in record time, assuming that Seven had found the kitten and was killing it.

    I was wrong. Heh, all that wasted alone time, even if I was in the loo.

    Once I had heard the mewing though, I knew for certain that she hadn’t had a dead kitten, or abandoned it. I raced around like an idiot trying to track down the mewing. I even got Nathan in on the act, huffy sighing and all.

    After about 20 minutes of no luck finding anything, we gave up. The mother could look after it where ever she wanted too and we would just hope that Seven didn’t find the kitten while it was alone.

    UNTIL…

    I was on the phone to Mum and Amy was playing outside with the animals. Next thing I know I hear frantic mewing from a kitten, giggling from Amy and unimpressed meowing from the mother cat.

    I dropped the phone and ran outside. Amy had hold of the newborn kitten and was hugging it. Seven was racing around her barking like mad, trying to steal it, the mother was freaking out and I was standing in the middle of it.

    Needless to say, Amy was NOT impressed when I stole the kitten back from her and gave it to it’s mother. Tears, tantrums, snot – you name it, we had it.

    The mother cat picked up the kitten and instead of taking it back to where ever she had birthed it, she brought it inside!

    Where Amy promptly stole it again, while I locked Seven outside so she couldn’t play too.

    For the second time in 2 minutes, I rescued the kitten and gave it back to it’s mother. While I held Amy and explained why she couldn’t have it, the mother cat [who really really needs a name] picked it back up and dragged it through my lounge room, finally settling on taking it underneath the recliner.

    Obviously the recliner is the safest place in the house, seeing as how toddlers and puppies can’t wiggle under there.

    Me though? I really didn’t want a kitten living under my chair. The logistics of that? Just ugh.

    So while Amy screamed that it was ‘AMY’S KITTEN! MINE! AMY’S!!!’ I went and found a box and some scissors. I sat down with Amy and explained that no, it was the cat’s baby and Amy couldn’t have it. But that Amy could help me make a bed for the cat’s baby where it could sleep.

    Luckily once Amy realised that she was helping me and the ‘Cat’s Baby!’ she calmed down pretty fast and helped me hack a box to pieces.

    We lined the box with an old sheet and popped it into the empty bathroom cupboard. Amy patted everything down nicely and was very good about it.

    Then I went and got the kitten from underneath the recliner and with it mewing it’s little head off, I convinced the mother cat to follow us to the box.

    Where I quickly shut the door until she settled down to sleep and feed the baby.

    Somewhere in the middle of all that, I picked up the phone long enough to tell Mum I would call her back.

    Funnily enough, everything I just wrote about happened within the space of about 7 minutes. Heh. It was…hectic.

    What I gathered from what Amy had to say, was that the mother cat brought the kitten down out of the roof where Amy then stole it to ‘cuddle!’. Luckily she is mostly gentle.

    Now I would love to say that the kitten has since spent all it’s time in the bathroom, being quiet and not disrupting our lives.

    But I would be lying, because in the last 2 days, I have spent more time than I should tipping the recliner over, to find the kitten and convince the mother to move back to the damn bathroom already!

    Somehow she isn’t that interested in staying in the bathroom. SOMEHOW living underneath my chair is much more appealing to her.

    Sigh.

    Damn cats.

    Assvice of the day? Get your cats desexed.