Author: Veronica

  • The Deranged Tooth Fairy

    When I was a teenager, we had a bad mouse plague one winter.

    I was sleeping inside at the time, on a mattress on the floor of my brothers bedroom. He was about 8 at the time and my bus/caravan had no power and therefore was too icy cold to sleep in. Something about waking up to frost INSIDE the windows made me want to give up my privacy for warmth.

    The mouse plague was so bad that if you shook the curtains, mice would fall out of them. It was BAAAAD.

    Anyway, one night I was trying to sleep and suddenly the cat started going stupid and running up and down my legs.

    I assumed it was a mouse (hell, I was completely desensitised by then) and so I started shaking out the blankets. The cat pounced, the mouse squeaked and I heard crunching nomming noises.

    Satisfied that the mouse was dead, I promptly fell back asleep, after first reminding myself to be careful where I trod if I had to get up.

    There is nothing better than treading on a mouse liver in bare feet. NOOOOOTHING better.

    After sleeping all night (yes! I actually used to sleep! all night!) I woke in the morning and got up for school. Eventually, I was looking for something (think messy teenager) and looked under my pillow.

    Lo and behold, there was a second mouse! Dead! Under my pillow!

    I had slept on a dead mouse.

    It was even squashed flat.

    Obviously I went to school and told my friends about it. I’m classy like that.

    One friend suggested that maybe the cat lost a tooth.

    M – ‘Maybe your cat lost a tooth.’

    V – ‘And the mouse was actually a present for the cat!’

    M – ‘Well, cats don’t exactly need money’

    V – ‘It can’t have been a good tooth, the mouse was very flat and very dead. Pretty pathetic gift if you ask me’

    M – ‘Did you feed it to the cat?’

    V – ‘Yup, I just had to wiggle it a bit and she thought it was alive’

    M – ‘See?’

    M – ‘Or maybe you lost a tooth and the tooth fairy was actually just messing with your head’

    V – ‘A deranged tooth fairy’

    M – ‘Nice.’

  • No ADSL For Me

    As of today, there will be no ADSL connected here.

    Apparently, after waiting a month for Telstra to first check the line, then activate it for ADSL and then finally fix the faults on it (last count: 4 faults, each requiring about 4+ business days to be seen to) someone has pinched the port that our connection was supposed to be plugged into.

    Pissed off is a pretty mild term.

    APPARENTLY while Telstra was busy fucking around and twiddling it’s thumbs, they simply FORGOT that we were actually in the process of getting real live ADSL.

    Maybe they thought that our telephone provider (who has been lovely and helpful throughout) were bugging them about errors simply because they could.

    Who knows?

    I do know that there is no longer the infrastructure at the exchange to support another ADSL connection and that there isn’t ‘the demand’ to upgrade their equipment.

    Even though the infrastructure was available a week ago.

    Bastards.

    I am waiting to hear back from my providers customer support team, who will let me know what is going on and whether Telstra have changed their minds. (Uh yeah, not likely.)

    ****

    In other news, I’m feeling a little off colour. Not sure if it is partially the cystitis or if I am coming down with a cold, so please forgive me if I don’t get around to visit you for a day or so.

  • Fun!

    Yesterday I had an ultrasound to try and discover why I was bleeding so strangely.

    (To new readers: I can’t find the post I already wrote about it, so the long and the short is – I got my period and then proceeded to bleed for 20+ days. I went on the pill for a month, got horribly depressed and sick, spotted anyway, came off the pill, felt better, bled for 17 days, went insane, had sex, bled more, got cramps, bled more and completely failed at falling pregnant.

    BREATHE!)

    SO!

    I had an ultrasound that showed approximately NOTHING.

    Oh, he saw what he thought was a polyp, but then after he did an internal ultrasound (Fun! Lets let a strange man stick a cold lubed wand up my snatch and try and stab me. THANKS.) he managed to dislodge the supposed polyp and therefore decided that it was indeed a small blood clot, which he warned me that I would probably pass later one.

    No sign of it yet. Heh.

    I am pleased that there is nothing ‘wrong’. However it leaves me with no reason for the excessive cramping after sex and just because my body wants to make me miserable.

    I have to make an appointment with my GP and get a referral to a gyno. Then we see where we end up.

    (Aside from laid back on a table with someone looking for gold while Nathan giggles at me.)

    (Yes, he did indeed spend the whole ultrasound giggling at me. I have promised him that when he needs his prostate examined when he is older, I am going to sit and kick my legs, while giggling at him. Payback and all that.)

    (Yes, I am a bitch sometimes. He loves me though.)

    Next time, remind me to tell the sonographer that I am allergic to latex. 30 seconds of my time and theirs required to change the condom, will save me from multitudes of discomfort.

    Why yes! I am allergic to latex! It makes me uh.. uncomfortable and generally gives me cystitis.

    30 seconds.

    *shakes head*

  • Our Wildlife

    Mum and I took Amy to the wildlife park yesterday. Well actually, Mum wanted to show the ‘Flat Stanleys ‘ the animals and Amy and I were just tagging along. (Mum’s Flat Stanleys came from 2 little boys in America who requested to please please show them the animals)

    We’re good like that.

    So firstly we saw the Blue Tongue Lizards. I personally adore Blue Tongue’s and we used to have one living in the yard (in the old house). I miss her.

    We got to see Koalas and we were so pleased to see them awake. They must just have been given new eucalyptus leaves to munch on.

    Then, the big rarity, an albino wallaby. Albino animals never survive for very long in the wild, because their stark whiteness makes them stand out to predators. If I remember correctly, this one was actually born at the park and made headlines.

    As we wandered into the free-range wildlife area, Mum and I found ourselves increasingly nervous. Unlike the tourists that were around, we know how vicious kangaroos can get. Yes, I KNOW these ones have been all hand raised and are used to people feeding them, that still didn’t stop me wanting to walk away (quickly) as they snuffled all over Amy looking for feed. (The park gives out small bags of pellets especially for the wallabies/kangaroos/geese/peacocks that are about.)

    See? Very very nervous. We ended up throwing some pellets on the ground and seeking a spot that had a few less kangaroos (which are very big) around. Maybe some wallabies. Wallabies are nice and small.

    This one that I am feeding (and photographing. Watch me multitask!) wasn’t backwards in coming forwards. She placed her front feet on my stomach in her quest to get more food, making me more nervous because her claws! You should have seen her claws! And she was looking for food! On me! Eeek!

    Anyway we walked away unscathed (OBVIOUSLY!) and I took a photo of her claws just to show you HOW kangaroos can disembowel a person or a dog in a matter of seconds.

    The wombats were rather sleepy as they are a nocturnal animal, but this one did eventually wake up and wander around. My photographs of that sucked though.

    Now, I couldn’t do a post about wildlife without showing you a real! live! Tasmanian Devil.

    Oh wait! That was the boring information. Sorry. What they don’t mention on there is that Devils are mostly carrion eaters ie: roadkill. They also say how uncommon they are. The last place we lived at we had devils hanging aroung quite alot. I never managed to get a photo though. We must have been living in a devil hot-spot!

    Don’t be fooled by how cute they are, Devils are vicious! Devils are also suffering from a Devil Facial Tumour Disease that is killing the population. The DFTD is actually a type of cancer, unfortunately the devil population has become so inbred that the cancer doesn’t differentiate between different devils. So when they fight and bite each other, they pass the disease along. Very very nasty.

    The Devils here at the park though are all clear for the disease. Thank goodness.

    Amy had good fun, until she realised that there was a sausage sizzle that we weren’t invited to attend (it was for carers who bring up the injured animals) and she wasn’t going to get free food. She rather liked patting the kangaroos ears, even though my heart was thumping lots. The paths at the park weren’t really conducive to Toddler walking (very knotty and bumpy. Also quite steep in places) I tried to let Amy wander as much as possible.

    Here she is, running away.

    What I haven’t shown you – The Emus , because my photos weren’t fantastic. The Sulphur Crested Cockatoo , whom I swear was trying to dig an escape hole. The Yellow Tailed Black Cockatoos who had been hit by cars and can’t fly anymore.

    Even worse were the Wedge Tailed Eagles . The pair (only one was in the pen, I know there used to be a second one, but now I wonder if it has died?) were victims of shooting attacks and were unable to be rehabilitated because of the extent of their injuries. There are only 70 pairs of Wedge Tails left in Tasmania and they are a distinct strain of their species.

    There were Quolls. One Spotted Tailed Quoll (which I hadn’t seen since I was a kid) and one Eastern Spotted Quoll (which we used to see alot of).

    Amy also got to say hello to the Peacocks and the Cape Barren Geese . She insisted that the geese were ducks though.

    Amy does love her ducks.

    As we headed home, Amy was tired and sulky. However she fell straight asleep as soon as she got into her bed.

    Poor sulky girl.

    Hee!

  • Seven is a Bat?

    Welcome to my weekly winners as hosted by the gorgeous Lotus . I don’t have many words today so I will let the photos do the talking.

    Although there are alot of photos, I tried to make them as

    I played with the black and white alot this week.

    And we had some awesome sunsets.

    Seven and Amy played, lots.

    And we had some gorgeous mornings. With fog and frost and drips.

    Amy loves her slide. Even when it is wet and cold.

    Seven is a bat?

    Sunsets. Gorgeous.

    The highway that runs past our property.

    Yeah, did I mention the sunsets?