Author: Veronica

Ah sleep, that ever elusive thing.

Just what the hell makes it so hard for babies to sleep? Who on earth coined the term ‘sleeping like a baby’?

Because last time I checked babies don’t sleep that well.

‘Sleeping like a teenager’ now THAT I could understand. THAT makes sense. Babies? Sleep? Don’t make me laugh.

Someone once told me that babies start sleeping through the night magically at around 15mths. Unfortunately Amy is 16 months in 3 days time and her sleeping is actually regressing. She had started falling asleep by herself (read: not grasping at my nipple like a starved animal) but now she has stopped.

She has also stopped falling asleep at a decent time of night.

Amy, sweetheart, I know it is Summer and warm, but 7.30 is a good bedtime. Not 10pm. Okay? Mummy loves you, now sleep before I die already.

Maybe 17 months?

Maybe by the time she is 2?

Maybe when I give up breastfeeding?

Maybe someday.

So, I should really welcome you all to 2008 and spout some shit about New Years Resolutions. But no, I won’t do that.

In lieu of resolutions, I will welcome you all to 2008 (I saved this post until late Jan 1st so that you were all in the New Year with me) and refuse to talk about resolutions. Because the fact is, I have never made one and I don’t plan to start now.

Instead I will tell you an Amy story.

Yesterday, I was sitting here, on my gorgeous laptop whilst Amy played in the sunroom. I could hear her toys rattling and talking gently (read: destroying my hearing slowly) and her talking to them.

Next thing I know there is the almightiest scream.

I dropped everything I was doing (good thing I am working at a table now and not on my lap) and literally sprinted to the sunroom (approximately 5m away).

Amy was sobbing/screaming in terror.

I looked around for the culprit.

Amy helped by pointing it out to me. Helpful child she is.

It was a feather. On the floor by her feet. A freaking feather! From the inside of a feather doona!

I picked it up and showed it to her, only to have her collapse in hysterics again.

A feather. Gah!

I wonder what she thought it might do? Maybe she was scared it was going to tickle her feet? She is very very ticklish.

Maybe she thought it would get in her nose and suffocate her? Breathing is kind of essential for a Toddler.

Maybe she thought it was going to MAGICALLY GROW INTO A GINORMOUS FEATHER WITH A HUGE MOUTH AND EAT HER UP!!! Because that it what the screaming sounded like.

Who knows? I certainly don’t. However, I will now be on the lookout for killer feathers and I will remove them before Amy ever has a chance to see one again.

PS She didn’t think it was a spider, because I am constantly having to kill them so Amy doesn’t try to play with them. Spiders are tasty don’t you know?

Also? One of Amy’s toys is possessed. I was just sitting here, typing when it decided to talk to me from the sunroom. It isn’t a toy with a touchy trigger either. No, this baby’s button needs damn near thumping to make it work. Creepy? Much.