It’s finally the school holidays.
We don’t have any more doctors appointments until early January. (Touch wood)
I have one very smooshy baby:
Recommend a book to me? I’ve just recently finished reading Ilona Andrews, the Kate Daniels series (thank you Mum for the recommendation) and loved them.
Have you read anything decent lately? Leave a link in the comments. Bonus points if it’s available on Kindle. Double bonus points if you wrote it.
Sitting outside of Kmart today in a quiet corner, I was nursing Evelyn. Isaac had followed his father into the newsagent and so I sat, alone, holding Evie’s hand to stop her tearing at her face with her flaily little hands and people watching.
A woman walked in, trailed by her bogan boyfriend and bogan friend. Pregnant and wearing leggings as pants, she saw me and her face looked like she’d sucked on something sour and unexpected.
I smiled at her and she pointedly looked at me and said loudly “I can’t believe she’s breastfeeding in public like that. It’s disgusting and offensive.”
I was shocked and more than a little angry.
So.
Dear Bogan Woman outside of Kmart,
Breastfeeding my baby is not disgusting, nor is it offensive. I was, and am always, discreet and I can only imagine that you find the sight of a naked baby head utterly appalling, because actually, you couldn’t see a single centimetre of my skin, let alone my breast.
You know what was offensive? Your stupid behaviour. Your disgust at me minding my own business. Your insistence on making sure that everyone else around us knew you were offended.
Actually offensive; your leggings as pants. You couldn’t see my nipple, but I sure as hell could see your crotch.
Thanks for that.
Merry Christmas.
We saw the neurologist for Evelyn last week. The official line is wait and see. We don’t know anything and we won’t know anything until she starts to display differing symptoms as she gets older. It’s hard, this wait and see. Wait and see if she improves, or goes downhill. Wait. See. Horrible. I have a phone appointment with our Paediatrician tomorrow to get the results from her last lot of blood tests and that’s it until after Christmas.
Encouraging things though are this:
This is Evelyn holding her head up briefly the other day. It didn’t last long and she hasn’t been able to repeat it (I say she’s storing up energy for next time) but she did it and I am so very proud of her.
Yesterday she giggled for the first time. I nearly cried.
Everything else continues along steadily. She’s still having episodes regularly, she still sleeps more than any baby ought to – especially a baby who is over four months old – and her eyes still aren’t great.
But she is deliciously kissable and every little thing she manages is a huge achievement. Go Evelyn.
+++++
Isaac saw the doctors too regarding his stomach issues and we’re looking into starting the FODMAP diet with him. I expect the adjustment period to be a bit hellish, but we hope it’s going to help. Just waiting on seeing the dietician now.
+++++
I held Evelyn’s feet in my hands and kissed them until she smiled at me. I looked at them; at the silvery scars on her heels and the remnants of failed cannulas and I tucked them back under her blanket for her; safe from air and touching and harsh needles.
+++++
I’ve been reading a lot. This year has been rough and I’m ready for it to be over. I keep dreaming that my grandmother is alive and that everything is okay with Evelyn and then I wake up and nothing is right. I’m not as mentally healthy as I could be, but I suspect a lot of that will be fixed by the holidays. Until then, I’m reading and I’m writing and I’m kissing my children.
How are you?
Today I have a guest post from the ever-amazing Caitlyn Nicholas. I can’t remember how I stumbled onto her blog a few years ago (gosh, time flies) but my envy of her warm weather and her blooming garden hooked me and her writing and personality kept me returning.
I do suspect that she is superwoman though, because she has published not one, but two books in the last few weeks. I know. I KNOW.
I am honoured to have her on my blog today to talk about herself and promote her two new books.
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Hey Lovely Veronica!
Thanks for having me on your blog. I am a huge fan of yours and I’m really excited about being here today.
Through November I watched with interest as you progressed through Nanowrimo. Huge congrats by the way for making it through to the end! It’s not easy. I know. It’s how I wrote my first book.
I’m a terrible pregnant person. I get very morning sick, in fact I could give Kate Middleton a run for her money (though neither of us would be up to much running!!) When I was pregnant with my second child I needed something to take my mind off hurling every six seconds, and so started to write a ‘Mills and Boon.’ It was the best decision I ever made. I loved having something to focus on that wasn’t about babies or how I’d get to the shops and back without puking. When I got to about 10,000 words we arrived at November and a chance post on the Romance Australia loop alerted me to the existence of Nanowrimo.
I dived in. Finished the book, submitted it to Mills and Boon (who rejected it in world record time!) edited it, subbed it to a competition (it came 4th) rewrote it, and then submitted it to Samhain Publishing. My Miss Nearly 7 was born two weeks later and I received my first book contract a couple of weeks after that!
I just don’t think I’d have finished the manuscript (named Running Scared) without nano. If you’re curious about that story it’s still available via all your usual e-sellers in print and e-versions.
I’ve had a few more books published since then, and, in the last couple of months have had two new releases.
The first, a rip roaring romantic suspense called Drive Me To Distraction came out in November.
Sometimes life or death decisions are easy. Alex Radford has a choice – borrow the money to treat her mother’s rare and aggressive cancer from sleazy moneylender Hamish MacCameron. Or do nothing and watch her die.
MacCameron has an agenda. He wants Alex in his bed, and he wants her to help him exact revenge on his sworn enemy, Robert Dryden. He is only too happy to lend her what she needs, but the strings attached form a tangled web from which Alex has little hope of escape.
It’s not all bad. Since she was a girl Alex has had one dream: to become a Formula 1 driver and show the boys how to drive a race car. MacCameron’s money gives her a shot at fame, and in a move that scandalizes the F1 racing fraternity she becomes the new driver for Rob Dryden’s struggling F1 team, Prometheus.
Alex tries to keep her distance from Rob, knowing that one day she will need to betray one of the few people who ever had faith in her. But things begin to unravel when Hamish MacCameron is murdered and she and Rob are the top suspects on the list …
Amazon | iBookstore | Kobo | Goodreads
And the second, a romantic suspense novella called The Danger Game, came out in mid – December.
Flick likes computers. She’s good with them, and they do what she tells them, mostly. People, however, are more of a challenge.
But when a terrifyingly dangerous program is stolen, and her mentor killed, Flick finds herself on the run. The police are convinced she’s committed murder, and a sinister weapons developer will stop at nothing to force her to work for him.
In Ben’s line of work being suspicious keeps you alive. So when Flick turns to him, he quickly realises that she’s up to her neck in trouble and hasn’t fully grasped the danger she is in.
First he has to keep her safe, and then, together, they have to figure out how to save the world from an epic meltdown.
Amazon | Amazon UK | Kobo | iBookstore | Goodreads
I hope that your story, and the stories of all nano participants make their way out into the publishing world. There has never been a better time to be a writer. The opportunities are huge and chances of getting a publishing contract are never better. I’m always happy to lend help and advice where I can. Stop by my blog and leave me a comment if there’s something I might be able to help with…
Huge thanks for having me.
Caitlyn can be found online at Caitlyn Nicholas
and
Blog | Twitter | Facebook | Google+ | Goodreads:
I put Evelyn on her stomach this morning and she held her head up for five seconds, before collapsing, exhausted and crying. I celebrated. Five seconds. Maybe as much time as it’s taken you to read this. That’s how long her head was off the ground for and that’s what I was celebrating.
Oh how the goal posts have shifted.
I flipped her back over and picked her up, snuggling her into my chest. She looked at me with her huge wide eyes as if to say “what the fuck did you even put me down there for you tortuous milk woman” and I stroked her hair and held her close.
She held her head up for five seconds and oh, I wish I had a photo of it because for a moment there, she looked so strong and so normal and I wanted to cry. I might have cried. Briefly. Damp eyes. You can’t prove anything.
It must have exhausted her because she then went on to nap for four hours.
Ups and downs.She’s almost 19 weeks old.
She woke up and I nursed her and her eyes stopped working for a bit, which frustrated us both, because how can I make her smile easily when she can’t see me and “holy fuck the world has just gone dark again, I can’t say I enjoy this, hold me close and rock me milk woman.”
That’s been my day. My week even. The next few weeks are peppered with doctors appointments. I’m expecting to be thoroughly exhausted by the time Christmas rocks around, but who knows?
Today Evelyn held her head up for five seconds.
And that is enough.