Sleepless Nights

Author: Veronica

  • Things are moving along. Slowly, but you can’t hurry the system. **UPDATED**

    It was a long and stressful weekend, with Evelyn getting more and more twitchy and tired, and me getting more and more stressed. My house is spotless, so I guess Nathan was stressed too (he cleans when he’s stressed).

    In any case, we sent Amy to school this morning and settled down to wait for the doctors to organise things. Of course, then Amy got sick and needed to come home. It was her first day back in over a week. Sigh,

    I don’t do waiting well, for the record. I get grumpy and I can’t settle. Waiting is not my forte.

    Our GP finally managed to get in contact with the Paed at the hospital, only to discover she was actually in on an emergency surgery and unable to organise anything right that minute. The GP will hopefully speak to her in a few hours, to work out when they can see Evelyn. Failing that, he’ll talk to one of her collegues, to organise a plan that way.

    The GP is hoping we can be seen tonight or tomorrow, without having to go through the Emergency Department. Which is great news, as Evelyn has even more episodes and everyone’s stress levels rise.

    So, that’s basically it. Ev is still seizing regularly and sleeping pretty constantly. The hospital wheels are in motion and hopefully I’ll have an update soon that involves more information.

    Until then, we wait. All together.

    —

    **UPDATED**

    Our GP has spoken to the Paeds team and the plan at this stage is to take Evelyn into Emergency first thing tomorrow morning (Tuesday), along with a letter from him. That way she can be seen by the paediatric team and tests can be started.

    Wish us luck.

  • My blog turned five and I can’t bring myself to care

    My blog turned five last week. Five years I’ve been writing here, with all that that entails. I’ve seen the rise of the Mummyblogger happen, and the rise of branded messages too. Things have changed an awful lot since I started and that’s neither good or bad. It’s just change.

    It’s different now, this blogging space – MY blogging space is different. The thing about my blog turning five is that I actually care less about traffic now. Growth? That’s something my children are doing – my blog doesn’t have to grow a certain amount per month to keep me happy. Sure, I’d love my blog to be successful and highly trafficked, but it just seems like so much WORK, you know?

    Evelyn is sick you guys, and that also changes my perspective. Any time I’m spending on the Internet is time that I’m trying to distract myself. Or time that I’m Googling seizures in newborns. (Don’t Google seizures in newborns if your baby is having seizures.)

    Far be it for me to tell anyone what they can and can’t do with their own blog, but I am missing the stories. I am missing strongly held opinions, which seem to have been lost in the wishy washy of trying to keep everyone happy and not upset potential sponsers.

    I don’t even know what I’m trying to say here. I want the Internet to distract me and frankly, the things that used to work no longer do. Twitter seems to be a mess of brand messages and self promotion, with no room for conversation and the sycophants rule.

    My baby is having seizures and the Internet just seems ridiculous right now. How much of this space matters? Is being famous on the Internet even worth it? Why are we letting other people dictate how we ought to use our own spaces?

    My blog turned five and I didn’t even notice, because I was too busy actually living my life.

    I find myself caring less and less about what everyone else thinks, and just wanting to tell my stories.

    When I read back through this blog, in ten years, am I going to get nolstalgic for the giveaways? Or for the stories I tell about my children?

    Evelyn was born and I blogged her stay in NICU, knowing that it would bore people, because I needed to remember it. Now she’s having seizures and I am blogging those, so that I have something to remind me in 10 years (when things will be so very different) of just how terrifying it is to hold my newborn daughter while she twitches and seizes.

    It’s funny how things change.

     

  • Dear Universe: It’s getting a bit ridiculous now.

    So, Internet. Everything has kind of gone to hell around here in the last few days.

    Amy has had conjunctivitis and has been home from school for a week. This morning, Nathan and I discovered that she couldn’t hear 3/4 of anything we said. Luckily, we had a doctors appointment booked already, because it turns out she has what is commonly known as glue ear and has gone quite deaf. This explains why I’ve spent the last few days demanding to know why the TV is turned up so far.

    Both of her eyes are bright red still, despite drops, so we walked out of the GP with stronger antibiotics to help clear up her sinuses, which will hopefully let everything fix itself.

    Also a good thing that we had a doctors appointment today: Yesterday, I realised that Evelyn was having what I thought might be seizures.

    Worse than that, she was having what looked to be lots of seizures, not just one out-of-the-blue convulsion.

    I managed to catch some on video, dutifully showed the doctor, wondering if he was going to tell us we were being ridiculous, only to have him look quite concerned. This, I might add, is our incredibly laid back GP, who never seems concerned about anything.

    He agreed that they certainly looked like seizures and is currently organising for us to see the hospital clinics, as soon as we can for follow-up. Probably early next week.

    Her jaundice still hasn’t cleared up, which could be causing them – which wouldn’t be so terrible. Except then you wonder why her jaundice isn’t clearing up, when she’s feeding and gaining weight so well.

    Around in a loop my brain goes.

    They’re not terrible seizures, involving mostly eye flicking, rolling and blankness. They last anywhere between 15 seconds and a few minutes and she’s unresponsive while they occur.

    She’s only 33 days old.

    It hardly seems like we could have broken her in a mere month!

    This is why new babies need warranties IMO.

     

  • So, there I was, just minding my own business

    I was minding my own business, standing in front of the fire with Evelyn on my shoulder, when with a bit of a shudder, she puked all over me. Down my back, on the hearth stones, running down my arm. You can tell she’s a third baby however, because I managed to catch it before it dripped into my cleavage.

    I can’t say my reflexes were that great with the other two kids.

    Puke catching: It’s a skill I’ve honed through the last six years of motherhood.

    Where’s my medal?

    A bit later, Isaac was sitting on the potty in the loungeroom, while I read blogs and held Evelyn upright (all the better to stop her throwing up anymore), when Isaac accidentally tipped his potty over and sort of fell off it.

    Nope, I don’t quite know how he managed it either, he’s got skills, my boy. For the record, eucalyptus oil is a great cleaner.

    It’s all bodily fluids and eye-gunk over here you guys. The trifecta of motherhood.

    Yes, eye gunk. Amy has conjunctivitis and despite dripping breastmilk, chamomile tea AND antibiotic drops into her eyes, it’s getting worse, not better. School has been missed. A doctors appointment has been made. Lots of shrieking to “NOT TOUCH THE BABY” has occured.

    It’s frankly awesome, this motherhood gig.

    Isn’t it?

    ** I’m not really complaining.

     

     

  • I am a storyteller.

    At least I have the decency to call my lies fiction.

    A warning:

    I own my stories, and I own the right to tell them.