I place him down in his cot, firmly swaddled, awake and alone. Flicking the light off, I try to leave. For a moment, silence reigns before he unwraps himself and starts to babble. I walk out anyway, hoping that he doesn’t notice my exit.
He doesn’t. At least, not yet.
I sit down, revelling in the silence.
It doesn’t last. It never does. Amy clings to my leg and Isaac starts to squeal. There is no sleep here; not yet anyway.
Isaac starts to cry as Amy dances around in circles. Nathan’s computer game starts up, much louder than it needs to be. Sometimes I wonder if he needs his ears checking, that’s how often I find myself turning things down.
For a moment though, it was quiet.
It’s almost bedtime and then, I can wrap myself in the quiet.
The noise of heavy breathing as everyone sleeps. Snuffles and sleep talking.
I can’t wait.
I like bedtime.
Just curious, why do you still swaddle? (It’s not something I ever did). I thought it was only for newborns?
He won’t sleep without it. He flails and scratches himself and rolls over, finds himself on his tummy and then cries.
I’m sick of it to be honest. I taught Amy to sleep without swaddling at about 5 months. It annoys me, because as soon as he gets his hands free, he’s wide awake, yet he spends so much time trying to free his hands. Gah.
Poor proprioception might be something to do with why he still needs to be swaddled. Even now I can’t sleep without heavy enough bed covers to feel the pressure on me, I can’t feel the lighter covers & it makes me feel just ‘wrong’ can’t explain it any better!
BG xx
I love bedtime too! I also love waking up at some God forsaken time and realising I still have a couple of hours to sleep until I have to get up and ready for work!
I like bedtime and mornings.
I love putting Emily to bed and climbing under the covers with Nath to sleepily watch the telly until we both fall asleep. (We have a telly timer)
I love going into Emily’s room in the morning to collect her, bring her back to my bed to feed and then we lay and talk for awhile.
I only did the swaddle thing for the first couple weeks and then let their arms be free and just snuggled them from the waist down in their blanket….sorry you are still dealing with it . 🙁
It is bedtime here too.. Everyone is asleep.. Littlest monster has ear/ throat infection so sleep won’t last long.. But I am enjoying the silence and the kids freddo frogs, at least for the moment..
Woodjie is small enough that I have folded a full-size comforter twice (thickness of four, just fits on toddler bed). It’s not weighted, but gives him just enough weight to keep him asleep and feeling safe. He used to literally crawl about in his sleep; I’m not kidding.
Do they have a program for disabled children birth to three? We actually got a weighted vest for free through it. (Well, I pay a copay of $7 a month, big whoop) Technically, the vest belongs to the program, but they told me they will give it to the preschool when he turns three. Then that will help him to calm when he goes.
But it won’t solve everything. I am rambling, trying to help. Maybe my idea will work with a folded blanket and maybe not.
Hmmm. I used to joke to Annie that she should just wrap the kids in a rug. Apparently, it works. Who knew?
Howdy. I stressed out massively about stopping Darcy’s wrap. He was wrapped until 7 months and, just like Isaac, his arms would flail around and he would still startle himself (I think some babies have a much better startle reflex than others and it continues for longer with some). Anyway, wrapping was getting ridiculous as he was HUGE and was rolling over while still wrapped and getting into all kinds of weird possies! So, I tried the method of leaving one arm unwrapped for a few nights and then popped him in a sleeping bag with a both arms out (you can “wean” them off the wrap slower if you like). I was convinced that I was in a for a hellish night but he “slept like a baby” (cough, cough) and was no different than normal!! He has been in a gro-bag ever since. Good luck with that!
Mission!! What about getting him a sleep sack? Maybe that would help
Bedtime is my favorite time of day. Although, my 8 year old is very fond of finding any reason to get up and talk to my husband and I.
I love listening to them breathe while they sleep. it’s so peaceful and relaxing
I remember unswaddling my babies while still in hospital, they seemed so much happier being able to move their arms and legs around. Besides, how else was I going to be able to kiss their sweet little toes?
I love that quiet just after everyone else falls asleep. There should be a word for it. Peace? Nah, that just doesn’t do it justice.
AMEN!
Found your site and love your writing. I totally empathise! I also have an Amy – 25 months old and a 6 month old baby(who I still swaddle). Bedtime is so very welcome. I love the way you put it, “I can wrap myself in the quiet.’ Very apt
My 12 yr old will kick everything off his bed except for the furry blanket I crocheted for him a few years back – it’s heavy and very warm so I usually find him wrapped up in it.
Isaac may need the weight more than the swaddling for comfort/security?
I know my comments are belated for some reason they haven’t appeared in my reader which made me grumpy as read latest post and had no idea what you were referring to Veronica!
Having EDS I am the same and totally relate to the bedclothes thing. Its funny isn’t it ‘River’ that what works for one doesn’t for another I guess thats what makes us all unique. Both mine were swaddled for a long time after my peers stopped. At 19 & 17 now they both still wrap themselves up in blankets & duvets and trawl around the house and its not because they are cold or insecure, they are just blankety type people.
I spent three months in an incubator after I was born and in those days 45 years ago they didn’t understand as much as they do now about the need for touching or comforting – my mother was not allowed to touch me even. Apparently I would flail my tiny limbs and they wouldn’t let her do anything. She remembers when I was finally allowed home swaddling me and finally I would be at peace. (for a little while at least). Now I am the same as bendy but I have to leave one foot out! Which then freezes for bendy reasons despite the ambient temperature and I torture my other half with it in an attempt to get warm. I am so territorial with my duvet even now we have to have two!
I saw a documentary once which had a young child who had really disturbed sleep and the sleep specialist started a regime which meant the child was actually not allowed to go to bed! This went on for a couple of weeks making the time earlier by 15 minutes each night and this went backwards from midnight. The parents were exhausted but at the end of it all it remarkably worked!!!! Not suggesting you do this but I remember thinking I have never seen such a relieved mum at the end of it all.
As Issac is growing rapidly at this age and has EDS it may be that he wakes because his muscles may be sore, often those with EDS have poor quality sleep a medical fact! I don’t know whether you agree with calpol etc. but I wonder if for a short time it would be worth giving a bedtime dose to see if it helps at all – just a thought.
Do you know what I have never been the type of mum who worried what other mums were doing, if my kids were swaddled when others were not I cared not a fiddly stick. I don’t think it matters one bit either way. Also a tiny baby cannot move the swaddles themselves whereas a Isaac would be able to extracate himself if he really woke enough to want to.
A last thought on the matter is it sort of reminds me of me in a way, I am sure I have mentioned more than once on my bloggy that I often wake when I am overtired and those with EDS muscles etc. get much more tired than the non collagen deficient. Perhaps the combination of growing and tired overworked muscles could be causing restlessness. I must admit though I remember one of mine bit sad that I can’t remember which going through a lets test mum time on the disrupting me during the night and I reigned in my mother for a bit of moral support and she got up for said child and being a headteacher could be fair but firm. That did help….
here is hoping the sleep situation gets alot better very soon.. 🙂
Veronica, this all makes so much sense to me! Has it worked past the first night for him? I hope so 🙂 Love to all
I love bed time when it works. When.
I love bed time. Once the 13th trip to the potty has been hammered out, the 8th book has been read, the backs have been rubbed and quiet finally settles in…..
I wonder if I’ll miss the good times when my babies were babies and my house was noisy and nobody slept.
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