Brenda at Mummy Time wrote the other day about how sometimes we can seem like different people on our blogs.
I’ve been thinking about it. A lot actually.
Am I the same in real life as I am here?
I like to think I am, but the truth is, no.
In real life I have a much darker sense of humour. I’m blunt and matter of fact. I laugh at inappropriate things.
In real life, I am sadder. I am wrapped up in my own head and sometimes have huge conversations and scenarios play out with different people. I over think things.
In real life, I am tireder. I am snappy and out of patience and ready for a coffee break. Only I don’t drink coffee.
In real life I have panic attacks. I have to consciously remember to breathe.
In real life, my words don’t flow all the time. Sometimes I can argue an impassioned argument and win. Other times, it feels like my words are too heavy for my mouth.
In real life, we sometimes eat ice-cream for lunch. I swear too much. I bake my own bread, but don’t dust. Ever.
I yell. Often.
I have a horrifically dirty mind. I’m always having to pull myself up out of the gutter.
I laugh at myself all the time.
Sometimes, I have to pull my tongue out of my cheek with pliers, that’s how firmly it gets wedged in there.
And see, the dark humour; the snark; the blunt; they don’t always translate well to writing.
Blogging is snippets. It’s bits and pieces hashed together to make a whole. So while each post is an accurate representation of me in that moment, it’s not the whole me and it could never hope to encompass everything I am.
I’m multi-faceted. I’m three dimensional. I’m complete.
I’m a real person with a blog and an urge to write.
***
Do you think your blog is an accurate portrayal of yourself? Do you like your blogging persona? Do you think your friends and family IRL would like your blogging persona? (Not your blog, just your blogging persona)
What about twitter?
My site certainly represents me. I promised myself if I blogged, I would be deadly honest. It has worked out so far.
This was the most powerful, self-reflective blog I’ve ever read. You have the ability to look inward, instead of looking outward to blame others for what ails them. Good job! Excellent!
i don’t think my IRL friends would like my blog, because i’m honest, and talk about things, and how i’m feeling. I’ve known them all for so long, i don’t feel like i can share with them how i am ‘now’ if that makes sense, the friendships i’ve formed on here feel so much closer and deeper because i’m able to be myself without worrying about years of formed opinions. though, i do find blogging hard, i’m a much more verbal communicator.
OMG. I can’t believe you wrote this! I’ve been trying to work on a post about this very thing for a few days. I was trying to write a meme that would quiz the readers how well they actually knew the blogger–with the blogger answering in a separate post!
I am NOT the same as my persona. In real life I’m overwhelmed and cry too much. In real life I struggle. In real life I raise my voice too much. I never bake my own bread, but clean my house almost daily–to no avail since it remains filthy.
Great post!
p.s. I’ve been wanting to join facebook, but I don’t want to combine IRL and blog friends, because neither would recognize who I would be in that forum! I would feel like I’d need 2 facebook accounts!
Well, I speak differently to my two-year-old than the cashier at a local store. It isn’t so much that I am a “different” person, but that I need to communicate different things to different people.
I think my blog is me, pretty much exactly. Not all of the content – well, the content is all true, but it’s not all there…y’know? – but my personality isn’t any different I don’t think.
Hi, I’m bingsy.
I don’t remember how I found your blog. It’s been on my bloglines for about a year, but I started a new job once I added it and just now found the time to start reading blogs again.
I can really relate to what hyphenmama said. Facebook has not been a fun time for me because of the craziness that is combining IRL friends with online friends with people from high school that didn’t say one word to me the entire time but friend every name they recognize. Add in colleagues and family members posting heated political topics that go against my own and you get one big headache.
In real life people often describe me as nice or even too nice. I complain about this to my fiance because I think I am so much more than nice, but there are worse things to be. Online I think my personality must be kind of caustic. People get really mad at the things that I type, even things I think are stated neutrally and plainly. I once wrote a review on amazon stating my opinion that a cookbook needn’t have fancy, colorful pictures to be a good one, and people became, what seemed to me, outraged. The thing is that I always think I am typing things in a voice that is level headed but assertive. Without any context of who the hell I really am, people take that as negative. It always stuns me, but I am getting used to it.
Hmm. My blog is pretty representative, except I say “fuck” a whole lot more in real life.
There’s a whole lot to any one person. You’d have to write an honest post every hour for years on end to have something that is truly representative of who you are, I think. People change, too. I have. I don’t try to be something else or hide anything, and usually don’t, though I don’t like to complain and bitch and moan on my blog. But I don’t do much of that IRL, either.
I think my blog is a watered down version of me at the moment, and that needs to change!
My blog is pretty much me but I keep stuff in too much and even though my blogs shows more then I tell my IRL friends and my family, it’s still not all me, but I also am trying to refocus it back to my novel and be less about my life at this moment in time.
In real life I am more grumpier and moodier. I yell a lot too. I am more insecure and less upfront on telling people off. I tend to keep the peace especially where relatives are concerned. I can’t bitch about them on my blog because I know they read my blog eventhough I am very tempted to do it. I actually have drafts but I don’t think I’ll hit the publish button anytime soon.
Real life is more complicated, messier and and I tend to fuck things up a little bit more.
…Brilliant writing, you never cease to amaze me.
I’m not as rational in real life as I am on my blog. When I sit to write, I have time to think things out. However, I am honest about everything I write.
I have a FB account but since my sisters and other family members (except my husband) don’t know about it, I don’t link them together.
My blog is a truthful ‘snapshot’ of me.
I try to bear in mind that keeping the privacy of my family, friends etc. as much as I am able is important. Sometimes I can’t write the ‘whole truth’ because of that. This does not mean I lie I could I suppose be accused of ‘making light’ of stuff sometimes that is actually more hectic or emotionally traumatising and hope that any reader gets the gist of what I am trying to convey.
Sometimes I just randomly write the stuff in my head to save moaning, particularly to my husband. In this respect this is when ‘my blog’ becomes my sanctuary.
In real life I hope I am less bland than I feel my blog portrays, I swear, I get cross a lot then uncross just as quickly, I didn’t used to swear as much as I do now but i think that is a pain thing.. I have a pretty filthy mind in life but not sure I am very good at writing about that its probably the way I was brought up lol
Conversationally in ‘real life’ I probably turn the boring conversation I had with the milkman for example into something much more interesting than it actually was when I chat with my other half of an evening. I live with a chronic condition and I sometimes think if this didn’t limit what I am able to do I wouldn’t do this.
So I may do this in my blog I suppose – subconciously (sp). Describing going to the Farm Shop is pretty boring so I suppose I must interject a little artistic licence but there isn’t a lie. Sometimes I wish I could be braver and really bare my soul in my blog if you like- but I am not ready to do that and wonder if ever I will.
To include the nitty gritty in my life, past & present? would I think possibly compromise a family relationship and maybe leave me vulnerable? (The ? marks are there more as questions I am asking myself here so please don’t feel obliged to say anything)
Facebook – dabble with but don’t like the new style. I use it to keep in touch only with a few family members who live far away, a couple of friends and one acquaitance? Presently its irritating me a little as I can’t minimize content as before. I don’t like the adverts – piss me off big time.
Twitter – irritates me. I am probably resistant to change generally but sometimes can be impetuous and really a bit odd I expect. Perhaps its the name – ‘Twitter’ not sure..
I agree with the above comment about rationality, I read through before I post in my blog I do amend stuff. In life I am I guess somewhat scatty, when essential I can be ridiculously sensible. As I get older I try to be more measured something I am not renowned for. I am really really untidy, I get very very short tempered, I can be loving and giving and the next minute I am sure maddening. I wish I was more cultured, intellectual and interesting. I like to think I am getting better at listening.
I suppose when I created my blog and therefore my persona? initially – I was a blogging virgin and didn’t realise a lot of people would just be using real christian names etc I am a little over zealous on identity fraud protection so am in fact happier with my persona it stops me fretting. But as my blog grows I think oh bo””ll””ks I have given the ins and outs of my medical condition, my thoughts what the F am I worrying about.
The majority of my family/friend’s don’t even know I blog and there is something about that I like.
I have a driving phobia (which I keep trying to pluck up the courage to blog about) in real life which means I must have a fair amount of self limiting behaviour, so I wonder if I do that in my blog also? Limiting the content to the ‘safe’.
But my final words are ‘yes I am truthful in my blog’ I change names on occassion for privacy reasons and if in time an element of artistic licence slips in I hope anyone that reads it understands thats because it has and I probably haven’t realised it. Truthfully my life is not particularly exciting, I love my family, my animals just ordinary everyday stuff. I could I suppose enter the realms of fantasy and create a blog where I was not me – I could be wealthy and sophisticated with all the trappings, on the internet I could be anyone but if I am being honest I like real life blogs and to an extent I think trust in the blogging world at least the ones I frequent is quite important to ‘me’ and also to the bloggers I interact with?
phew Veronica that was long – sorry. Its that verity and probity stuff again – it gets me going I think. Either that or its the new meds I have started I think they making me pedantic. Not sure I like ’em.
On reflection and taking the risk of boring you all rigid. A final comment on reflection on Twitter – I am afraid I would write something when venting my spleen that ultimately I would regret. Conversly am not sure anyone is in the slightest bit interested in the fact that I may just have gone to the doctors or similar.
I’m not as simple as my blog persona, and there are parts of my life and myself that I do not and will not discuss on the blog (or on Facebook or Twitter … I have consistent boundaries for all online spaces). I also try to protect the privacy of others, including my children, so there are details I do not reveal, and stories I will never tell. Reading my blog, or my tweetstream, will give someone access to one part of me – not an untruthful part (I don’t tell lies about events or feelings), but by NO means a complete picture. IRL, I am more complex than that.
Very good post. I am definitely not who I am IRL on my blog and I think that probably comes through in my comments (which I know my family won’t read because they don’t follow the blogs I follow). My blog is very happy cheery because my family read it and I don’t want to upset any apple carts. I’ve often thought about starting another blog and not advertising it so much – nto sure when I’d find time to do it though!
Hmmm.
The bits that get on to the blog are me 100%, but there is plenty that doesn’t make it there, and maybe that omission makes what does make it less accurate?
fantastic post.. 🙂
btw Cai has two teeth..
I’ve often suspected that bloggers don’t tell all, because if they did, there’d be no time at all for real life. So they hide the parts that they don’t want others to see or know. Which is fair enough, everyone needs their private side.
But you have written some about your sad side, and we know your mind is in the gutter, we’ve read your vibrator posts, so we have a fair idea of who you are.
I also laugh at inappropriate things/times, I have really long conversations in my head where I DON’T come off second best and I also over think a lot of things, but usually after they’ve happened. I get to thinking “if only”, this or that. Totally a useless thing to do and sometimes I have to kick myself up the arse to get over it.
I love you and your family. You’re all so normal.
tonight or tomorrow morning I plan to start writing from the heart, and not just about Emily. I have so much more going on right now. I am the same on blog as in person, I only show people what I want them to see.
Like you, my blog does not represent all of who I am. How can it? I have shared many of my moods and facets on my blog and I am very honest but I don’t think it shows all aspects of who I am. Then again, I know that many IRL friends don’t know all aspects of who I am. Some IRL friends have read my blog and I think that they found it reasonably consistent with who I am. We all present our best self when we can though, don’t we? It’s only natural.
Wow. Your description of your real life persona is pretty much like you sat down with the intention of describing me and did just that.
I don’t really blog anymore but I have always thought I am better in writing than IRL. Writing comes easier than speaking and the internet offers that slight remove in which I can look at things in a more humorous, amusing light.
Funny thing is I got all those things from following your blog over time. I think my blog as a whole does portray me honestly and accurately. It is snippets from moments and at times it is more of whom I am striving to be but it does portray me honestly, sometimes too honestly I think.
I’m pretty well the same on and offline. I’m incapable of personality subterfuge.
Good Lord, I hope not! If I really did talk about ttc that much…well, you wouldn’t invite me to your house for a party, that’s for sure.
Still, it’s a part of me that’s real, just not expressed as often in the real world as it is on the internets. Go the internets! So much cheaper than prozac.
I think about this a lot too. In some ways, yes. But, like you said, it’s snippets. I have so much more going on that I’d never put there; stuff with my parents and stuff with my husband. I yell more than I admit; I’m more fed up than I admit; I lose my cool more than I admit. I curse more and am funnier in real life. I like who I am on my blog – I laugh at myself and frustrations when I’m looking back at them. I have a much more difficult time laughing in the moment.
I try very hard to be myself on my blog. But just the fact that I can press ‘backspace’ while writing a blog means that there is some self-editing. In addition, I started my blog to write about things that I don’t talk about in real life (like TTC, as Bea said).
Fantastic post! Very thought provoking too! I’d like to think that my blog is an accurate portrayal of who I am. I do sometimes find myself compromising my true self because I feel people will judge me for things. It’s happened before a few times when I’d get chastised for feeling like a tired mom, for not having a clean house all the time, and for getting frustrated because I have a sometimes cranky baby and no down time for myself. It sucks when you put yourself out like that and people criticize. The sadder part is when the people who criticize are the people who know you IRL and are close to you.
I am 100% me on my blog, just with a sharper tongue.
loved the post.
I think the twitter me is cute and sporty. Sort of like a high school version of me. Short, sharp, funny and a lot skinier than I am in real person.
The blog me? Well it’s 100% me. Warts and all. And it so makes my mother (& in law) and other family members despair. I am SO over having to explain to them that I am ok etc, in fact I recently tried to explain it all here http://littlereginald.blogspot.com/2009/07/contemplation-station.html a month or so ago, and just this morning I have decided that I am going to just shut up for a while so I don’t have to justify myself anymore. Whereas readers that check in all the time get it, and enjoy it (I think?!)
It’s a tricky line to balance I think. I really enjoy your blog though….
I’m much more outgoing on my blog, in the sort of way that I only am with my close friends. I guess it makes sense because I’ve known a lot of my readers for years.
Cool site, love the info.
hahahha….. some of the people I know, and in particular.. perhaps relatives… probably wouldn’t recognize me from my blog… reading it makes me sound too …uhm…nice. Some days I’m a bit more bitchy than it portrays…but, at the time I am scribbling away…. things are usually pretty good, otherwise I would be somewhere else…. also, I don’t think I come across as interesting or as funny as I really am…or not. Maybe I’m not as funny or amusing as I like to think I am….. you know the old saying about not really seeing ourselves as others do…
I’ve been scrolling backwards through your blog…. your EDS is worse than mine…but, I do know what you mean when you say you hurt all the time and the tight muscles hold things in position…
In the spring I am buggered for days after attempting some gardening..my right sacroiliac joint is painful to the point of not being able to move my leg forward… it feels like my butt is going to fall off when I try to walk…. ….. some days I step up to get in the van and my knee “tweaks” as I call it…and the pain is searing… it takes several minutes just to massage it to the point where I feel like carrying on with where it was I was going. My wrists and fingers are not strong anymore either…. I’ve had carpal tunnel surgery on the right hand…need it on the left and now have a huge cluster of a ganglion on the left wrist that is impinging on one of the veins …(it used to be a simple one bump thing, but had surgery on it years ago and then when I was doing some rock work it came back with a vengeance..in several areas of the same wrist) .. I had it aspirated the other day and it was back in two days…. they don’t want to do surgery on it and really? I don’t want them to either…too many other problems to deal with if they are the least bit careless. My thumb is becoming a problem partly because of the huge ganglion mess….
….and ….on we go…. trying to deal with it all. My GP says it is such a fine line for us to try to stay strong but also try not to injure ouselves… however, we have to try or the alternative is…a wheelchair…..may I just say…. shit!!?
Just wanted to drop you a line to say, I enjoy reading your site. I thought about starting a blog myself but don’t have the time.
Oh well maybe one day….
Hey, I really enjoy your blog. I have a blog too in a totally unrelated field (Online Stock Trading) but I like to check in here on a regular basis, just to see what’s going on and it’s always interesting to say the least. It’s always entertaining what people have to say.
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