NICU is a rollercoaster. And I say that knowing full well that the only challenge Evelyn faces currently is feeding and gaining weight, which are not the major challenges a lot of early babies face.
We went this from this morning being told that if she fed well, she would be moved onto the ward with me, to finding ourselves having to put in an NG tube after a few bad blood sugar readings. Then a few great blood sugar readings, (potentially making the NG tube null and void), back to crap readings and knowing that the ward was well out of her reach currently. From breastfeeding on demand, I’m now having to express an extra 20mls of milk to top her up after each feed. Not a huge deal, but my milk isn’t in yet. Formula is not the devil, but I’d prefer to avoid it if I can.
Evelyn’s heels are red raw from the blood draws and the nurses are getting progressively unhappier about having to take more blood. We won’t talk about the bruising from her IV (unneeded and since removed), or the allergic reaction her arm had to the tape that was used to secure it.
Hormones don’t help, and everything u psets me, but mostly the thought of having to go home and leave her here, an hour away. Not that we’re at that point yet, but it’s on the cards at this stage.
They’re still thinking that she is close to 36 weeks, her strong suck (when she finally latches) don’t speak of a baby younger than that.
But it still sucks. Also sucking is hospital food. What kind of fish burgers have spiky bones in them? Mine, apparently.
Blech. It will be okay.
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