Category: Life

If you use Twitter, you will have noticed a ‘List’ function appear in the last few days. Twitter practically screamed about it at me. LISTS! LISTS! OMG SET UP YOUR LISTS!

But really, I want to talk about Twitter lists for an ideal world.

In an ideal world, where no one would get offended due to being included (or not) on my lists, here would be mine.

People who actually amuse me.

People who think they’re amusing but they aren’t. We’ve all been there.

People who I like a lot, but whose twitter stream drives me fucking mad..

People who say stupid things.

Shit. So that you know that you’ve made my shit list (credit for this one goes to JellyWrestler)

Famous people I follow because I’m a crowd following asshat.

Big name bloggers who don’t follow anyone back.

Jackasses who do nothing but retweet shit links.

People who clutter up my timeline but occasionally throw out a good link so I feel obligated to keep following.

People who I suspect also find their children annoying sometimes.

People who read my blog and enjoy it.

People who will get butthurt if they aren’t on one of my lists.

Businesses who set up twitter just to constantly tweet about their 25% off sale. But only if you’re in their country.

Politicians who thought that twitter might be a good idea, but they don’t follow anyone back, leaving them looking like elitist bastards. Still.

People who won’t jump to conclusions if I say something about stabbing myself in the eye.

People I actually like and think we should just skip twitter and get drunk together.

And finally, last but not least:

People who would help me bury a body, should the need arise.

***

What would your lists say in an ideal world where no one would get offended? Or like me, in a tongue in cheek world. I’ve not got any plans to set up lists in the near future, so don’t stress about it.

You remember how the doctor warned me I’d likely get manic on the steroids?

Well OH BOY was he right. I’ve been busy.

Busy busy busy. I can’t sit still, I’ve been running all over the house like a chook without a head and even though I know what’s causing it I still can’t quite stop myself from poking Nathan every time I walk past him. He’s been a little bit saintly and hasn’t started poking me back yet.

We built an arena for the horses. It’s not entirely finished yet, but I’m proud of it and it was hard work. It’s made out of second hand tyres (cost: free!) and elbow grease. I’ve got another load of tyres arriving next week that should enable us to finish it up entirely. At this point, it’s usable though.

In other news, Amy has stopped sleeping.

Completely. And. Utterly.

I wake up at 3am to feed Isaac and she’s curled up on the couch, just sitting there. Last night I put her back to bed half a dozen times between midnight and 7am. It’s been … less than fun. It wouldn’t be so bad (she doesn’t make much mess, she doesn’t always wake me up) except that by the afternoon, she is hideously tired and will NOT nap. She won’t even lay down and rest. She just likes to sit on me and cry and whine and ohMYgod.

Sleeping: We’re not doing much of it.

But anyway, I’m on the mend now. The antibiotics are working well and I’m able to breathe again. Even though the extra energy has been nice, I’m looking forward to stopping the steroids. I’m pretty sure my family is looking forward to it too.

Oh and for a final whine, because I can, I got my period back today. My last one was when Isaac was a newborn, which appears to be how my body works. Have a baby, bleed for a month, get a period 28 days later and then nothing for months. So I’m curled up with a heat pack and chocolate, wishing I could stab my uterus with something sharp because it might hurt less that way.

Sob.

Well apparently I’ve got pneumonia. Whodathunkit?

The doctor gave me a script for steroids, as well as a script for antibiotics and asthma puffers. Let me just say, steroids (prednisone) are great fun.

It might make you a bit manic, says the doctor.

A bit manic? I feel like I’m bouncing off the walls. I haven’t had this much energy since I was a kid drinking cola.

The upside of that, it that I can also breathe. Quite well in fact.

The downside of that is that prednisone masks all the infection symptoms, so while I feel okay, I’ve got no idea if I’m actually getting better.

I think I am. I hope I am.

It was lucky I saw him when I did though, he told me I would have been in hospital by last night and seemed a little surprised that I hadn’t already gone to emergency, seeing as how my fingertips went blue and I couldn’t breathe very well at all.

Not being able to breathe is sort of a big deal.

But anyway, I’m on the mend! (I think)

***

Also, apparently some emails I’ve been sent have bounced? If you like, you can resend them, I think the email is working again. It appears to be a server issue, so we’re just waiting for them to fix it.

The kids and I are all sick, Amy is slowly coming off her gluten high and being nicer, just as Isaac refuses to sleep. He screams in his cot while Amy swirls and twirls in front of me, just our of reach of my grabbing arms and the hairbrush. My stress levels are through the roof and today’s bedtime is not a good one.

Every time I cough I feel faint. It’s just a bad chest cold, not an infection, so short of staying in bed for a week, there is not a lot I can do to help it move along and fuck off already.

Can you hear my maniacal laughter at the thought of actually getting to stay in bed?

AHAAAAHAAAAAAAAA.

Cough.

Splutter.

Aside from that, things are good here. So much nicer now that Amy is off gluten, even if our time out count today was much too high (throwing food, throwing toys, she got into a bag of flour, etc etc). We’ll hopefully see the results of those tests in about 3 weeks.

So that’s me.

How are you?

Chuck’s Life Less Serious Champion Challenge

Earlier this week, I was approached by Maria on behalf of ChupaChups, asking if I’d be interested in a competition. OF COURSE I said, because I mean, what is better than competitions?

So she sent me out a tub of ChupaChups and a Chuck Doll and asked me to write a blog post in a category of my choosing. Of course, the category that humour fits into won. Sometimes I’m funny.

This is Chuck:

Chuck is challenging people to get Less Serious over on his website. There are competions and prizes to win, so go and check it out.

So yes. Let’s talk about alternate uses for ChupaChups. They’re handy little things, round and tasty. You can use them for all sorts of things!

Like holding up the TV cabinet:

I call this one the mousetrap. It sits under there, attracting mice so I can schwack them.

Barbie was unhappy with what life gave her. She felt dowdy and small; like you could walk past her in a crowd and not even notice. Not now though. Now? Barbie STANDS OUT.

(I should say though, Barbie probably shouldn’t have gone the cheap route. She looks a little lopsided…)

You can make ChupaChup soup. (Chuck’s favourite dinner. And lunch. And breakfast)

Chuck delights in growing new and exciting varieties of ChupaChup. I must say, I want some of those seeds he’s using!

What’s that you say? The baby won’t sleep? Well, I found the cure for that. Just use The Pacifier and he will be out like a light.

And last but not least, what they were designed for. Surfing the internet of course!

Hehe.