Category: Life

Stay with me here, I am all blogged out for today, so I present to you one of my very favourite Monty Python sketches.

(Opening Scene : A tourist dressed in a business suit approaches a shepherd. The sounds of sheep and the outdoors are heard.)

Tourist: Good afternoon.

Shepherd: Afternoon

Tourist: Ah, lovely day isn’t it?

Shepherd: Eh, ’tis that.

Tourist: You here on holiday?

Shepherd: Nope, I live ‘ere.

Tourist: Oh, good for you. Uh…those ARE sheep aren’t they?

Shepherd: Yeh.

Tourist: Hmm, thought they were. Only, what are they doing up in the trees?

Shepherd: A fair question and one that in recent weeks ‘as been much on my mind. It’s my considered opinion that they’re nestin’.

Tourist: Nesting?

Shepherd: Aye.

Tourist: Like birds?

Shepherd: Exactly. It’s my belief that these sheep are laborin’ under the misapprehension that they’re birds. Observe their be’avior. Take for a start the sheeps’ tendency to ‘op about the field on their ‘ind legs. Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as…plummet.

(Baaa baaa… flap flap flap… whoosh… thud.)

Tourist: Yes, but why do they think they’re birds?

Shepherd: Another fair question. One thing is for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin’. (Baaa baaa… flap flap flap… whoosh… thud.) Trouble is, sheep are very dim. Once they get an idea in their ‘eads, there’s no shiftin’ it.

Tourist: But where did they get the idea?

Shepherd: From Harold. He’s that most dangerous of creatures, a clever sheep. ‘e’s realized that a sheep’s life consists of standin’ around for a few months and then bein’ eaten. And that’s a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep.

Tourist: Well why don’t just remove Harold?

Shepherd: Because of the enormous commercial possibilities if ‘e succeeds.

Thanks to this website for supplying me with the transcript.

We ate tea tonight and like always, Amy smeared it all over herself. Unlike other nights though, tonight’s tea was sticky (and delicious) and it required more than a facewasher to clean her up.

As I was running the bath, it struck me that I do this all the time without thinking about it. It has just become part of who I am without me thinking about it.

I cleaned up the puddle of wee on the bathroom floor and plonked Amy into the bath. I sat down beside her in readiness to wash her hair, and realised I had sat in the ONE dribble of wee that I had missed cleaning up.

Typical.

I washed her hair, we played and I sat thinking.

Wow, this is who I am now. Here I am, sitting in a puddle of wee while my daughter examines herself using a toothbrush.

I absent-mindedly removed the toothbrush. I threw it in the basket to be microwaved later on. It wasn’t my toothbrush after all.

(What?! Microwaving does so remove the germs.)

Amy slithered around, let me soap the bottom of her feet and nothing else.

I think on.

I wonder how I do this day after day? It’s all the same really isn’t it? Lather rinse and repeat? Day after day. Will this eventually drive me mad? I don’t think so. But still, how did I, the anti-routine person, end up in such a predictable place?

SPLOOSH!

Amy tipped an entire container of water over me.

Predictable? HA!

Don’t make me laugh.

Except for those few HUGE things.

Firstly a huge thing. Lotus? You all know Lotus right? Sarcastic Mom? She has been nominated as a finalist in the 2008 Bloggies. For best new blog no less!

Do NOT walk, RUN over and vote for her. All you need to vote is a valid email address. Oh and a computer.

Go on, we will wait. I promise.

Okay, you are back? What ‘s that you say? The bloggie page is all wacked up and you can’t read it and the buttons are in the wrong spot? Yeah, it was like that for me too. *sigh*  If you hold your cursor just over the top of the photo a URL will show up on the bottom of your page, where your page load bar thing is (does that make sense?). This should tell you who you are voting for.

To cast your vote with the wacked up, skewey voting bar (which is totally in the WRONG spot on my browser) then click just above your favourite blogs photo. This will put the vote in the right spot. Promise.

Also, if you have a spare email address, go and vote for Alli~Mrs Fussypants in the same category as Lotus. Read her post here. She is lovely and funny and totally deserves your votes as well. Go on, I’m not going anywhere.

Any more questions? Right-o then, moving along.

See my sidebar? On the right hand side of the page? See those pretty buttons? Go and vote for me. The Bloggies failed to recognise my supreme talent as a teen blogger, (heh, ah well. I suppose teen bloggers aren’t really mummy bloggers anyway) so you can console me with a vote for Hottest Mummy Blogger/Best Parenting Blog. If I get more than one vote there I will be happy.

Here is where I have to admit to what a bad person I am. Have you tagged me for a meme lately? Or given me a bloggy award? Please, can you let me know? Pretty please? So I can give you the linky love that you deserve you know.

I am terribly forgetful and I am sure that I have been tagged for more than one meme.

Thankyou. I love you, you know that right? Good.

Now go and vote.

“NO! DON’T PUT YOUR FINGER IN HER CRACK”

~ Said to Amy about a lizard hiding in the crack between the house and the path.

Added 2 seconds later?

“You don’t know what could’ve been in there.”

It doesn’t rain, but it pours.

Thankyou all for the lovely comments on my last post. My boob is hardly sore at all now and I am feeling human again. Wonderful things these antibiotics.

However, this morning I discovered that THING that is the bane of mothers lives everywhere.

That THING that causes blogger mother especially to cringe and count the amount of hours they now won’t have left for blogging.

That THING that makes for a shitload of work and washing, all needing doing before bedtime.

I discovered headlice.

I got one louse out of Amy’s hair and two out of mine. Inspection of Amy’s hair shows no eggs that I can see, and when Nathan looked through my hair, he didn’t find any eggs either. (But then, he didn’t really know what he was looking for).

I have combed my hair, I have conditioner-ed (is that a word? To bad, ’tis now) my hair and combed it through. For AAAAAAAAAAGES and found no more bugs.

Bugs and hair aside, do you have any IDEA the amount of washing you have to do when you strip THREE beds? Yes, three, Amy sleeps in a cot/single bed together remember?

Lots of washing.

Lots and lots of freaking washing. ESPECIALLY when the small one won’t sleep on just a plain sheet. No, she needs a fluffy blanket underneath her sheet and one on topof her sheets, for her cheek to rest in because they are SOFT.

I got 2 machine loads of bedding just out of Amy’s bedroom. Remembering that I have a 7kg washer. *sigh*

A lot of washing.

Thank god I didn’t find more than one louse in Amy’s hair. Can anyone imagine trying to hold down a Toddler so that you can comb their hair out, over and over again?

Not my idea of a fun time.

The only place I can think of, where I may have had some small contact with children, was the Doctors surgery on Sunday. All their chairs are cloth covered so I think I may have picked up a louse there. It is the only thing I can think of, because no one else I have seen recently has headlice.

(Yes I do know this, I have rung everyone)

However the combing will continue until my hair falls out I am satisfied that no nits could POSSIBLY remain.

Even if that means sitting on Amy while I comb her hair twice a day.

**UPDATED: Thankyou so much to Jenty, who has nominated my blog for the bloggers choice awards.

Now I’m going to be a vote whore and ask you to pretty pretty please go and vote for me. Please? With cherries and whipped cream and whatever else floats your boat. Please?