Category: Life

I just put Amy down for a nap. Without giving her boobs.

I am a horrid horrid mother according to Amy.

She kept looking at me and crying and asking for ‘boooooobs’. Her eyes got so big and sad when I refused to let her pull up my top and have a feed.

My reasons for this? She has become lazy and is refusing to latch on properly. 2 broken and bleeding nipples later (she ground her teeth on one), I think I need a break, if only for a few hours. When it hurts I will remove her and re-attach her, but she pulls away and twists her head and rarely stays attached properly for long.

So today, she is going down for a nap, without having a breastfeed.

It has been 2 1/2 hours of crying and wailing and gnashing of teeth (me, not her) and 2 1/2 hours of crying and tantrumming (her, not me).

She has a bottle of milk in case she is thirsty (it’s a hot day), she has her doggy (who is now milk and tear sodden) and she has a dummy for just in case. She also has a severe lack of sleep happening at the moment.

It is hard. It is very very hard, but at the same time, my nipples are singing my praises as they get a chance (even if only a few hours) to heal a little.

I have been up and down my stairs like a yoyo, putting her back into bed every time she climbs out, along with kisses and cuddles and I love you’s, but no boobs.

I am the worst mother in the world apparently. *sigh*

2hrs 45mins and counting. Still no sleep in sight.

Updated: At 3hrs and 10mins after I put her to bed, she fell asleep. Still minus the boobs. Woo Hoo! Still, I feel awful.

I am writing this at 11pm the day before you are reading this. When this publishes, I will be a couple of hours from home, on the other side of my state visiting my friend and her little boy, who turns 1 on Saturday.

I will try to bring home photos of Amy and her friend playing together but I’m not making any promises. Also, I am much much to tired to even comtemplate a proper post for my absence.

We shall speak more tomorrow my internets.

Mwah!

Amy is turning into a real little entertainer, she keeps me giggling all day.

We were in the supermarket and she was pointing at Nathan singing,

‘Dad-DEEEEE Dad-DEEEEEE’

‘Yup, that’s your Daddy’

Amy shook her head.

‘No? That isn’t your Daddy?’

Amy nodded.

‘Yes? It is your Daddy?’

Amy shook her head.

I think she just likes being difficult.

She has also learnt to climb onto the arms of the couch (yes she is a climber. Her favourite spot at the moment is the windowsill. I have bad photos, I will post them another day) and straddle them, while slapping her hands on the wall. I am worried for her teenage years.

She dances by wiggling her bum, bouncing up and down and bobbing her head.

She sings while she dances.

Everything is a dog. Unless it is a cat.

The cows from the farm down the road got out and Amy could see them on the road (100m away ish).

‘Dooooooo ag’ (dog)

‘No sweetheart they are cows. Cows say mooooo.’

‘No! Doooooo ag’

‘Cows’

‘No! Doooo ag’

She also insists that the horses are dogs, at least until we get close enough so she can see how big they are. She quite likes the horses actually, one snuffled her tummy the other day and she cracked up, thought it was the funniest thing! She won’t try and say horse though, and insists that they are ‘doooo ags’ when they are in the distance.

The cat is her best friend and she tries to pick her up and carry her around. Good thing the cat is so placid, or I am sure we would have scratches on our hands.

She pulls clothes out of her drawers and brings them over to Nathan and I and insists that we dress her in them. The other day, she ran around the house wearing a winter hat all day. It was 30C.

She is definately growing up too fast. Can’t I just freeze her this age forever?

PS:

As you read this, I am out shopping, minus a Toddler. Not only that, but I am clothes shopping for myself! It will be the first time I have tried on and bought clothes in probably 3 years. Wish me luck! Also, wish Nathan luck because he will have Amy all by himself and she hasn’t taken a nap for him in a long long time. There is always the pram and a big walk if everything else fails.

xxx

Ah sleep, that ever elusive thing.

Just what the hell makes it so hard for babies to sleep? Who on earth coined the term ‘sleeping like a baby’?

Because last time I checked babies don’t sleep that well.

‘Sleeping like a teenager’ now THAT I could understand. THAT makes sense. Babies? Sleep? Don’t make me laugh.

Someone once told me that babies start sleeping through the night magically at around 15mths. Unfortunately Amy is 16 months in 3 days time and her sleeping is actually regressing. She had started falling asleep by herself (read: not grasping at my nipple like a starved animal) but now she has stopped.

She has also stopped falling asleep at a decent time of night.

Amy, sweetheart, I know it is Summer and warm, but 7.30 is a good bedtime. Not 10pm. Okay? Mummy loves you, now sleep before I die already.

Maybe 17 months?

Maybe by the time she is 2?

Maybe when I give up breastfeeding?

Maybe someday.

So, I should really welcome you all to 2008 and spout some shit about New Years Resolutions. But no, I won’t do that.

In lieu of resolutions, I will welcome you all to 2008 (I saved this post until late Jan 1st so that you were all in the New Year with me) and refuse to talk about resolutions. Because the fact is, I have never made one and I don’t plan to start now.

Instead I will tell you an Amy story.

Yesterday, I was sitting here, on my gorgeous laptop whilst Amy played in the sunroom. I could hear her toys rattling and talking gently (read: destroying my hearing slowly) and her talking to them.

Next thing I know there is the almightiest scream.

I dropped everything I was doing (good thing I am working at a table now and not on my lap) and literally sprinted to the sunroom (approximately 5m away).

Amy was sobbing/screaming in terror.

I looked around for the culprit.

Amy helped by pointing it out to me. Helpful child she is.

It was a feather. On the floor by her feet. A freaking feather! From the inside of a feather doona!

I picked it up and showed it to her, only to have her collapse in hysterics again.

A feather. Gah!

I wonder what she thought it might do? Maybe she was scared it was going to tickle her feet? She is very very ticklish.

Maybe she thought it would get in her nose and suffocate her? Breathing is kind of essential for a Toddler.

Maybe she thought it was going to MAGICALLY GROW INTO A GINORMOUS FEATHER WITH A HUGE MOUTH AND EAT HER UP!!! Because that it what the screaming sounded like.

Who knows? I certainly don’t. However, I will now be on the lookout for killer feathers and I will remove them before Amy ever has a chance to see one again.

PS She didn’t think it was a spider, because I am constantly having to kill them so Amy doesn’t try to play with them. Spiders are tasty don’t you know?

Also? One of Amy’s toys is possessed. I was just sitting here, typing when it decided to talk to me from the sunroom. It isn’t a toy with a touchy trigger either. No, this baby’s button needs damn near thumping to make it work. Creepy? Much.