Pregnant. Finally.

Snippets. Sort of.

by Veronica on June 3, 2008

in Life, Pregnant. Finally.

Firstly, any questions you asked about Tasmania will be answered sometime this week (in the next few days). I really want to partner them with some photos of Hobart and surroundings and to do that I actually need to go into town.

So please, if you have any more questions about what Tassie is like, or how things work, don’t hesitate to ask, I promise I will answer. With linky love too! (so, delurk and I will love all over you). And I promise I won’t find any questions stupid, or obvious or anything. No mocking allowed.

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Quite a few people have enqired as to how this pregnancy is going and my answer is wonderfully. And by that I mean that today I was too sick to function, had to nap as soon as Amy did, and haven’t really been able to eat anything.

I think I can rest assured that at this point the little one is firmly attached and sticking around for a while yet. The bleeding/spotting has gone away and everything is feeling right on track (heartburn! bloating! nausea! aversion to smell!).

I have been trying to make an appointment with the doctor, but I haven’t been able to get through (I think the Locum has broken the phone, cos my regular doctor is in Italy).

I will be ringing them again tomorrow and asking for ANOTHER appointment, in order to get ANOTHER referral for ANOTHER ultrasound. Yeah, I want another ultrasound. I really REALLY want to see that little heart beating.

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My little sleepless angel (hahahaha) has been, um, sleepless lately. Waking up every 90 minutes between 12am and 6am. I know she has teeth cutting, but she also seems to be having nightmares. Generally all the wake-ups require is a pat on the head and a kiss and she is back asleep. Worse wake ups need a drink of water.

Unfortunately, we have been having some times when she hasn’t wanted to go back to sleep AT ALL. I’m sorry sweetheart, but 3.45am is not morning time.

Not at all.

Damn teeth, silly nightmares.

It’s a phase, it will pass. Sigh.

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Amy trod on me the other day and was generally being rough, I cried ‘Owwwwwwwwwwwww’ at her alot, mimicking what she does when she hurts herself.

Her response? To cuddle my head into her chest, rub my hair and say ‘Shhhhh, Mumeee, is allright, I godda you. Shhhhhh’.

Which strangely enough, is exactly what I do when she hurts herself.

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I Need To Not Think

by Veronica on May 27, 2008

in Headfuck, Pregnant. Finally.

I have made a decision.

I am not going to google for pregnancy symptoms anymore. I am refusing to type ‘bleeding during early pregnancy’ into my search bar. I do not want to look at ultrasounds of egg sacs implanted in women less pregnant that I am.

I am not going to make myself crazy anymore.

I am going to accept that my uterus is wonky and I am not going to be able to see anything until 7 or 8 weeks. I am going to accept the fact that I will have to wait a fortnight before even attempting to think about another ultrasound.

I am going to remember, that at 7 weeks pregnant with Amy, she only measured 5w5d and at 20 weeks she was lucky to measure 18w. I am going to accept the fact that all my babies are probably going to measure small, or as in the case of the ultrasound yesterday, not be able to be measured at all.

I need to think about the fact that my sonographer was younger, so probably NOT as experienced as he could have been. I need to think that everything is different this time, and as long as I am still feeling sick and tired, then everything should be on track.

I need to not be crazy anymore.

I need to think about the fact that he saw ‘good indicators of pregnancy, but it is too early yet for an egg sac’. I need to remember that he didn’t spend long looking because of the position of my uterus.

I need to think and I need to not think.

I need locking in an air bubble for a fortnight, where all I do is sleep.

I need to stop looking twice when I wipe after going to the toilet, just to check the state of the spotting today. I need to stop stressing about it, because stressing is not going to change the outcome. I need to stop cursing the dildo cam that made me spot.

I need to turn my damn brain off.

So…

I need stories from my wonderful readers about similar ultrasounds and the damn wand, stories of bleeding and healthy babies at the end, stories of how you coped until 12 weeks was up and then, from my childless readers I would love stories about anything you fancy. Just please, reassure me, or take my mind off it somehow.

Please?

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In Which I Talk About Pregnancy

by Veronica on May 26, 2008

in Pregnant. Finally.

So, I had some more bleeding last night. Now, before you freak out, it was light and it stopped quite quickly. Again. It was accompanied by ABSOLUTELY NO cramping, so that is a good thing.

However, it did mean that I used my referral to get an ultrasound done this afternoon.

Unfortunately, I have a retroverted (backwards) uterus, so in early pregnancy, nothing can be seen using an external ultrasound probe.

Bring on the latex covered vaginal probe. Or the dildo cam as Tiff says. AGAIN!

YAY!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, there are very good indicators of a pregnancy that is nicely implanted in my uterus, but it is still much too early to look for a heartbeat.

Methinks that the ultrasound machine they use in the clinic is a teensy bit less sensitive than in the hospital, because I had a scan with Amy at about the same time in my pregnancy and they were able to magnify and see everything. Then again, maybe my uterus was just being difficult. Again.

So, the pregnancy is in the right place and I will be asking for another scan in about a fortnight or so when things are more developed.

Moving onwards.

The nausea that began as easy to cope with, has mutated into ohmygodIthinkIamgoingtoretchrightaboutnow GASP! So, think good thoughts for me as I sip slowly on tea or soup and not much else. Also think good thoughts for my family, who are going to be sick of vegetable soup by the end of the week.

Very sick of soup.

Poor guys.

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The Best News

by Veronica on May 20, 2008

in Pregnant. Finally.

Yesterday was a strange day.

Actually, it has been a strange few days, but yesterday was stranger than most.

Yesterday, I was sick all day. I ate crackers and was able to cope, although having to make meals for Amy damn near killed me (2 minute noodles anyone?).

So I suffered through it, knowing that sometimes my wacky body and CFS makes me nauseous for no reason. I wasn’t particularly worried about it, I figured it would go away.

Then when I went to the toilet last night, I had a big gush of bright red blood. I say big, but it was probably only about a teaspoon full or so.

I grabbed a tampon, as you do and went about my business. I wondered about the colour (I never have bright red blood) but didn’t think anything of it, until I went to the loo just before bed and discovered that the bleeding had completely disappeared.

[insert much cursing of cycle here]

I waited until the morning, discussed it with Nathan (who wasn’t that interested, but I beat up on him until he paid attention to me. ie: I placed my very cold feet on his very warm legs) and then, once I found that there had been no more bleeding, I did a pregancy test.

Yes, that is indeed a positive result. The photo makes it fainter than it really is because the damn camera doesn’t have a macro feature, thus all photos have to be taken from 30cm away. It is a faint result still, although definitely, pinkly there.

And yes, today I am still feeling nauseous. Probably more so that yesterday, but crackers are good.

So, I am pregnant. FINALLY. 12 months of trying and the very worst, train wreck of a cycle is the one that works out. Heh.

Who says that stess stops conception?!

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