Pregnant. Finally.

31 weeks

by Veronica on July 5, 2012

in Pregnant. Finally.

31+4 weeks 2

Here we are, counting down the days until this babe decides she can make her home outside of my uterus, rather than spending all of her time headbutting my bladder and kicking my ribs.

I had a midwifery appointment on Tuesday, that confirms that at this point in my pregnancy, I am larger than I have been before, measuring 31 weeks. Shocking really, with both other children I was measuring 26 weeks at this point and everyone was getting a little twitchy about growth. This further shows that dates are probably inaccurate, as I’ve never measured on time or ahead for dates, ever. Not even in the early weeks of my pregnancies. I grow small babies, not large ones.

Of course, no body listens to me and they continue to make plans for ‘when you birth in 9 weeks’ rather than Nathan and I (who know how this story goes) who realise that we really need to have everything in place in the next six weeks or so.

Either way, she will arrive when she arrives and then I won’t need to argue my case with the doctors.

I have a growth scan booked for early Monday morning in any case, this was booked at 12 weeks when I was still showing signs of my early sub-chorionic bleed (that, incidentally, caused no problems or bleeding) and we’ll see how big she’s grown then. If the kicks are any indication, she is healthy and strong.

Occasional bursts of “HOLY FUCK I NEED TO ORGANISE THINGS” are starting – I’m medicating these with trashy books, chocolate and hot tea. Sadly, as much as I’d like to nest, I know that if I give into the urge I’ll get exhausted and that’s bad all around. Instead I’m imperiously demanding that Nathan do things for me. You can offer him your sympathies if you like, he’d probably appreciate them.

Really, that’s it. My pelvis hurts, my back hurts, my hips hurt and we’ve been stricken with a god awful cold so my throat feels like it’s full of razors, but we’re all good here.

How are you?

 

 

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Birthdays and milestones and how long until August?

by Veronica on June 30, 2012

in Gotta Laugh, My body is broken., Pregnant. Finally.

There is a lot of whining in my house this morning. That is to be expected on a Saturday morning – my two spectrum-y children like the routine of school mornings and don’t cope as well when their only job is to watch cartoons and eat breakfast. I’ve already had an argument with Amy about why she needs to put clothes on, rather than spending the day curled in front of the fire wearing underpants, and Isaac, well, I’ve not managed to corral and dress him yet. Luckily the house is mostly warm. Ish.

My husband turns thirty tomorrow, which seems to me to be a rather large milestone in a mans life, but it still took him until yesterday to decide what he wanted to do. Would we go out for lunch? Would we invite his family up here? The vaccilitating between decisions seemed endless.

Being 31 weeks pregnant, I was pushing for everyone to visit here – as nice as it is to have someone cook lunch for me, the sheer exhaustion caused by having to leave the house and be upright wasn’t on my list of fun things to do. Last time I did that I required a few days in bed before I could walk again. My pelvis is not playing nicely and the rest of my joints have joined in the mutiny. August can not come fast enough.

The downside of everyone visiting here of course is that I am the one doing the cooking. Please don’t think that I am complaining, because I’m not. I’m merely mentioning that it’s not yet 10am and I have roast beef slow cooking in the oven (for sandwich and rice paper roll filling – also for our lunch today) and I’ve managed to marinate 2kg of chicken, despite the smallest child clinging to my leg the whole time.

If this keeps up, I’ll be ready for a nap just as everything is cooked.

I didn’t plan things terribly well and it wasn’t until after the beef was in the oven that I realised that I hadn’t had breakfast and now my oven was full of beef, not croissants.

Never mind, I didn’t feel like sharing the croissants with the children anyway.

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Slightly unrelated to anything: I’m quoted in The Punch today on Mummybloggers and the criticisms we receive. You want to read it, don’t you? Yes. Yes you do. CLICK HERE.

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How have you been Internet? Is there anything planned for you this weekend?

 

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Time passes and suddenly we are here again

by Veronica on June 21, 2012

in Cancer, Grief, Headfuck, Pregnant. Finally.

I haven’t felt like writing the last few days, which is unusual for me.

Amy has been back at school after the holidays and Isaac has responded to the routine change by becoming increasingly rigid with his wants and needs, whining lots, screaming lots and being generally very high maintenance. Not to mention the middle of the night wakings, where he insists that it’s morning and he needs to watch cartoons on the couch.

Last night he was screaming at 3am because I wouldn’t do what he wanted. That was fun.

I’ve been faffing around on twitter, and throwing in a little bit of facebook here and there, but aside from having my ire raised by Mamamia, all I’ve felt like doing is curling up in bed with a book, or crappy TV.

A lingering virus I thought. Exhaustion maybe. Pregnancy, probably.

And then I realised that the last time I was this pregnant, my grandmother was dying. I was spending a lot of time in and out of hospital appointments with her, radiology and oncology and waiting rooms. Coffee and cake while we learned to read CT scan reports and afternoons spent at her house while we discussed the probability of her death.

On Sunday, she will have been dead for three years. I will be 30 weeks pregnant with a baby she will never meet. My daughter barely remembers her and my son does not remember her at all. I am left with my memories and the remembered feel of her very soft, very dead hands.

Parenthood and grief are remarkably similar when it comes to time passing. The days are long; the years are short and at this stage, I am left looking back over the last three years and wondering where the time went.

We lost the first year in a haze of shock and pain, grief and angry abusive family. We sold her house, portioned up her possessions and struggled through. Some bridges will never be mended, some words never forgotten. That is what I remember of the first year.

Where does the time go?

I thought I was doing okay, but apparently I am not and it’s okay to say that.

Grief is grief is grief and missing someone does not go away, which is both fortunate and unfortunate.

It’s hard to miss someone this much, Internet. So very hard.

 

 

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It’s at this point that I begin to go a little insane. 29 weeks

by Veronica on June 19, 2012

in Pregnant. Finally.

You should really pity Nathan, as I bounce between happy and angry, perfectly rational and a giant mess of sobbing and tears. The pregnancy hormones have gotten to me badly in the last fortnight and everyone is suffering.

Well, I’m suffering more than everyone else, but Nathan probably wouldn’t agree.

Let’s see, what is new this week. The baby flipped from being breech to turning head down (aside from a few forays into the land of “I’m going to lay sideways and make you wish that you could poke me back”) which was nice. I wasn’t a fan of breech – being kicked in the cervix isn’t my idea of fun. Luckily she hadn’t gotten terribly comfortable, having only been breech for a few days. It did however nearly kill me to lie upside down while I encouraged her to move.

Everything else is pretty much moving along as it should. I did the gestational diabetes test and didn’t throw up (I had taken anti-emetics before I went in however) which was great. Nausea continues to hang around, coming and going and impacting on my food choices. I’m still eating mostly fruit, yogurt and bread. And chocolate, of course.

I can no longer lie on my back, or sit up straight either, due to the amount of poky little joints that end up lodged into my lungs. I’m spending a lot of time trying to remind myself that yes, I can actually breathe, but no, I probably shouldn’t do anything strenuous unless I want to spend the rest of the day trying not to pass out.

No nesting yet (Nathan is waiting impatiently for the nesting – me, not so much) and I’m not feeling the overwhelming urge to Get Things Ready, unless I think too hard about what having a third child is actually going to mean. Then you can find me hyperventilating in the corners.

So really, all is well.

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27 weeks and still not capitalising on my extended girth.

by Veronica on June 6, 2012

in Pregnant. Finally.

It’s a shame isn’t it, that pregnancy is so exhausting. Apparently if I’d thought this through before the vomiting and the exhaustion and the waist expansion, I could have made this into rather a money spinner.

Instead, I am celebrating the beginnings of stretchmark growth and elasticised support underwear that come up to my boobs.

Way back when I first started taking pregnancy photos, I had this idea that they’d all be taken in the same spot, in front of my blackcurrant bush, and through Summer, Autumn and Winter, anyone paying close attention would be able to see the changed in the bush that mimicked the growth of my stomach.

Of course, now that it’s actually Winter, that idea seems like a terrible one – especially when I headed outside to take the 27 week photo, only to be hit by icy cutting wind and a desire to go back inside Right Now.

Then the problem was finding somewhere inside my house to take the photos. Nathan recently bought new creamy coloured curtains – so score. Playing around with the camera to actually get a photo that wasn’t a mere silhouette, or terribly blurry – that took a while.

So! I have a new stretchmark and that is the most exciting thing to report for this week. It’s not really “new” in that it’s a continuation of an old stretch mark left over from the last time I put myself through this. I’m thinking though, if I’m really lucky, it will cross over my belly button and leave an interesting looking cross in the middle of my stomach.

It’s the little things.

Nothing interesting to report. The uterine dweller continues to mimick an octopus, my blood pressure continues to sit at a ridiculously low level and my pelvis continues to fall apart.

Pregnancy is boring.

 

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