Dear Chocolate,
I have come to the conclusion that you are just a cheap substitute for what I crave. I don’t really crave your velvety softness, or your warmth, or your addictive properties.
I don’t care that you call to me at bedtime, after my daughter has gone to sleep. No longer do I want to taste you during the bad days. I don’t want to use you as an excuse anymore.
So chocolate, I know I will regret this terribly, but I am breaking up with you.
At the end of the day, you just don’t satisfy me like you used to. I find myself needing more and more of you to get the same feeling. At the end of the day, you provide me with a slippery slope to slide down at 2am, and while the journey feels good, the landing is never any fun.
I don’t want to need you anymore. You are constantly there, begging for attention.
I think in reality I am a savoury girl, but chocolate, you have ruined me.
At the end of the day, I would pick smoked salmon over you, brie over you and sushi over you. Harsh words I know, but very true.
I write this tonight, because I know there is no way you can sink your teeth into my addiction tonight. I am craving you badly, but I have no choice but to remain strong.
One day maybe we can have a relationship based on moderation, but not right now.
Please, I beg you, can we still be friends?
Love Veronica.
************************
I am craving chocolate badly tonight, but there is none in the house. I tried eating cookies and cream ice cream but it was an exercise in futility, leaving me feeling more empty than before.
I desparately want sushi and brie cheese and smoked salmon, all things completely unavailable to me out here in the middle of grasslands and the day before payday.
I think it is stress.
While I said that we didn’t try this month, despite knowing when I was ovulating, I find that I didn’t really know when I was ovulating. I was relying on egg white cervical mucus to let me and then suddenly I had EWCM that lasted for 10 days. Very annoying. Makes me doubt my own body. So, we tried. And then tried. And then there was spotting exactly a week after we had sex. Exactly.
And so, my period is due on Friday if I have the same length cycle as last month. And I am waiting. I hate waiting.
So while I wait, I crave food that I can’t get. Scallops and smoked salmon and sushi and brie. All things that I have as treats when we can afford them. All things that we currently don’t have in the house. (All things that Amy would happily live on and makes me share, Hmmmmph)
Heh.
Poor Nathan is feeling the brunt of the stress as I alternately try to kill him (saucepans are good), tell him to get fucked or cry over nothing. Poor Nat. How does he put up with me?
I know I am reading too much into things, but this is just a brain dump. Get it out of my head, out of my system and then I can wait patiently.
Grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
All about the Zen, baby.
Now, ‘scuse me while I go and make a sandwich.
Waiting without chocolate. You are a strong strong woman
Suzies last blog post..Another Epic Poem- Blog Block
Hi thanks for the comment , I think he’s pretty darn cute too! That’s how I am, if my older kids were acting up when they were little I would just leave and they soon learned if they wanted to be allowed to go places they had to be good when they were there. I too love chocolate , funny there are lots of different kinds of bars I could get back home in Canada that here in the states I can’t get but you can get them where you live. Stop by anytime and comment when you want. Have a good day !
Letting it all out is good, indeed. Soon you and chocolate can reconnect it will offer some of the comfort you seek. In the mean time, don’t be so hard on yourself. Focus on all the love you have for your family, and what that means for you today.
Angies last blog post..A snapshot of spring
Clearly you’re eating the wrong chocolate.
Memarie Lanes last blog post..For my MIL, should she ever read my blog.
Dark chocolate. Yes, you can eat just one. It is immensely satisfying, and you get your fix undiluted by the pesky dairy products.
witchypoos last blog post..Grace
Brain dumps are good. chocolate is a poor substitute for smoked salmon though. I agree.
Rees last blog post..A Post in 3 Parts – warts and all.
You know, if it were anybody else talking like this, I’d say “You’re preggers.” I would. But you’ve already said you’re not. Maybe this is some strange form of PMS?
Lous last blog post..blog365 134/365
Mmmm just reading your post makes me want chocolate – this is not good! Also, totally agree with witchypoo on the dark chocolate ^^
Marylins last blog post..Sleepy…
Craving scallops and smoked salmon!
Bloody hell, are those diamond slippers cutting at your bloody heel and all?
;0)
Kids these days…
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..I said ‘Nappy’, dammit
Now I want chocolate. Unfortunately, the sandwich I just ate isn’t going cut that craving!
I watched a show on tv last night called The Verminator and thought of you.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..I Have Fantasies….
Oh. Good for you. I’ve been through chocolate addictions. You’re right… it only escalates. Takes more and more to satisfy. Its like legal crack. But I agree… I’d take scallops and smoked salmon and sushi and brie over chocolate any day (I lie. Most days).
kats last blog post..Pandora
Shh, don’t tell anyone, but I don’t like chocolate.
Now give me some brie and smoked salmon and I’ll eat until I explode.
Jennifers last blog post..Why Yes I DO Have Thoughts on This!
I got over chocolate cravings by keeping away from it for a month. Also all the ‘junk’ food cravings went away. But now I crave cheese.
For some reason now I only get any bad cravings when I am drinking. Strange. Chocolate is so sinful, you want it so badly, then you eat it and feel satisfied for about 5 minutes!
I find that long car trips require a rich chocolate icecream. (Like when we drove to Devonport.) That way I can’t have any more as we are driving lol. BUT I cant do it with child in the car. Child + Car + Food = Yucky mess.
aww..
i hope your feeling a bit better soon and less stress..
thinking of ya..
Tazs last blog post..29 Weeks Old.. (mothers day special)
I know the feeling hun.. I don’t have 10 days of eggwhite like you but my body is just as good at deceiving me..
I had eggwhite the day before mothers day (was staying with my mom so sex was gross in my mom’s house… Then a temp dip and now I am back to creamy … Was my eggwhite a fluke?
Who knows anymore! We also give up so if it happens SWEET, if not then I’ll just keep being bitchy about it. 😉
Talinas last blog post..Snow in may, what is going on?
Right! That’s It! I am going to make sushi on Saturday..just for you…
xxx mum xxx
frogpondsrocks last blog post..weekly winners (aka my 199th post)
I need to follow in suit and dump chocolate also. I might take your lead.
Shamelessly Sassys last blog post..The Peen Magnet
You know Moo was all ‘i will kill someone if I don’t get chocolate NOW’ the other day and then made herself a MILO SANDWICH! And I was all *vomit*
But she had another one and now I am not so sure.
Start saving NOW for when Amy needs medicinal strength chocolate…
Kelleys last blog post..A Ninjariffic Mothers Day!
I’m eating much less chocolate these days, can you believe there are untouched easter eggs in my fridge? I’m making a more determined effort to get my cholesterol down.
Hey Kelley–milo sandwiches are great!! So is milo powder over vanilla ice-cream.
Breaking up with chocolate?? You are much stronger than I. I’m weak….oh so weak.
Sandy (Momisodes)s last blog post..Unemployment? Not Really….
Dear Veronica.
It’s OK. I understand. You don’t want to need me. I don’t want you to need me. I want you to be with me sometimes because you want to, not because you feel you need to. And if you must *sniff* see other foods, then I guess I can live with that.
This is not farewell mon âme, merely see you later.
I’ll be waiting for you.
lots of love
Chocolate xxxoooxxx
Bettinas last blog post..Happy David Day to you
Did you get any ? … I mean chocolate today is all forgiven and you two are back on ?
Nutella or Woolies brand aint a bad subtitute when you are really desperate.
Trishs last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
So, it’s Friday and i know i have been away and I’m sorry for that but do you have any news? Good news, cos i could do with some of that but if it’s bad news then, perhaps you would reconsider your chocolate stance and share some with me because chocolate is goooooooood.
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