Dear Nathan…

Dear Nathan,

Thankyou for taking every second turn settling Amy this afternoon for her nap. I know that she still isn’t asleep, but hopefully with both of us working on her she will go down soon.

Thankyou for not undermining me when I decided that today Amy stops having dummies full stop. I am sick of her being so attached to it, and her talking is getting a little bit lazy because of this.

I know it’s hard for you when you have to re-settle her and she is asking ‘dummy please? Please?’ and you have to tell her no. I think I am more relaxed because I have already weaned her from breastfeeds over night (by myself) and then from breastfeeding full stop. God knows it’s much pleasanter when I have you here to take turns.

Thankyou for taking extra turns when my body suddenly decided that while I might have been feeling too sick to eat all morning, the fact that I hadn’t eaten meant that it was going to stop working so well for me. Thankyou for settling her while I forced down some fruit and waited to stop feeling dizzy and nauseous.

She’s getting closer to being settled now, I haven’t looked in there for a bit so I hope she hasn’t found a stray dummy. I know that it has been nearly 2 hours of wailing and crying, but she is so close to being worn out, she should be asleep soon.

God, I hope she goes to sleep soon.

Thankyou for being supportive this week while there has been stuff going on. I know that you are hurting just as badly as I am, you just don’t show it. We will get through it together and hopefully it won’t be as bad as we anticipate.

You’re starting to accept the fact that I am pregnant a little more readily now. I think you were aloof in the beginning because I had had the bleeding and as far as I can tell, you didn’t want to get attached if it wasn’t going to work out. However we have seen a heartbeat now and my stomach is poking out more and more and you are more willing to talk about it.

Not to mention we tried for so long to get here, it’s hard to hope that it will all be fine.

The noise from the bedroom is lessening, we have gone from crying/wailing/screaming to talking and singing, and now to finally the occasional loud sigh. I think we might be getting there.

I know I don’t blog about you much and I think you prefer it that way, but it seems that sometimes people forget that when I am whinging about a bad time getting Amy down, or numerous poos in a row, that you are here doing this with me. I might be a stay at home mum, but I am not alone in this and that means the world to me.

I find it funny that the other night when I went out (family dinner) I was asked often where Amy was. When I replied she is with her father, I then get asked if we were still together. Do you think alot of people equate young mothers with single mothers? I don’t think they realised that you were older and very much ready to settle down when I fell pregnant.

And so was I. That is why this worked for us.

There is no one I would rather be doing this with. I love you oh so much.

Veronica