Dear Self

Shamelessy Sassy has just written a letter to herself at 18 and I am shamelessly stealing her idea. (She won’t mind).

Dear 18 Year Old Self,

You need to remember that Vitamin E cream is probably the best thing for your episiotomy scar. I know that you gave birth 10 weeks ago, but by my count you will probably spend the next 3 weeks in a good amount of pain. Also, buy Nathan some porn and a box of tissues, because sex is going to be painful (and boring because your libido has run away with the fairies) for at least another 6 months.

I want you to try really really hard to not get uptight about trying to conceive another baby. Trust me, it does happen eventually, although not without alot of stressing on your behalf. Maybe just lay back, take it easy and grab as many orgasms as you can in the meantime.

You daughter doesn’t sleep. Don’t worry, she won’t sleep ever. I still know exactly how you feel, athough giving a 10 week old a boob is much easier than having to reason with an almost 2 year old about WHY it is still night time. Revel in the silence giving boobs.

Shortly you will move closer to your parents. Don’t give yourself any ideas about days without a baby attached to you though, you still have another 10 months before she will consent to leave your presence without a meltdown. I know colic/clinginess/general amyiness is hard but just power through it, because eventually? Amy does turn into a pretty easy going toddler.

[Then she loses that easy goingness to the toddler terrors of two, but hey, we don’t need to scare you yet]

As much as you don’t sleep (and never will) and feel like you have no time for yourself, don’t worry. You do end being happy. You also don’t strangle Nathan at any point, despite the both of you having trying moments. Eventually he realises that staying home with a baby is hard work. Eventually.

Also, please remember to do your damn pelvic floor exersises. Having to remember them when you already have a baby in utero grinding on your bladder is not the best thing. Clench and HOLD. Clench and HOLD. Repeat 10 times an hour at least. Remind yourself that this will make things better later. You really don’t want to have to get up to pee 10 times a night [although, so far I have managed to avoid peeing on myself].

Take it easy. Lay in the sun. Take time out for yourself. Even 5 minutes will leave you feeling less murderous towards other people who don’t have a baby attached to their front 24/7.

AND… if you really loved me you would buy a large stash of chocolate. At least enough to keep us busy for 3 years. Save it up or something, because nowadays? We don’t live so close to the supermarket, petrol is fucking expensive and I just ran out of the last of my stash. If you could do that for me?

Lovely.

Love, Me.

[***Also, I just noticed and HAD to point out, it is the 8.8.08 today and this post? It’s permalink is #888. Loving the coincidence]