Explorers Journal

by Veronica on May 22, 2010

in Gotta Laugh

Read this post in a David Attenborough voice, okay? It will work better that way.

***

Day 4 of my self imposed exile and aside from brief forays to the chook pen and toilet, I’ve not left the house. The small female human has been braver than myself however, using every moment that I’m distracted to disappear out into the frozen wilderness. Luckily the sun has been out during the day, easing the thaw a little, although not allaying the cold.

The small boy child has been voicing his pissedoffedness in many and varied ways, throwing pencils and tantrums alike. Warm milk seems to soothe the dangerous beast within his breast and I’ve been taking advantage of that.

I had to venture outside after dark tonight to see to my personal needs, our toilet remains outside. An oversight on the part of the builders, but something I have to put up with. Whilst out there, I checked our thermometer and discovered that the cold isn’t treating it well. Temperatures taken from the unbroken band of mercury show that we are well below zero.

I remain hopeful that tomorrow will dawn sunny, if cold and that my garden will escape unscathed. I’m eternally hopeful.

I suffered today with an extreme tiredness, made worse by the even more extreme willfulness of the small female human. Around lunchtime I had a burning desire for a roast duck dinner, but in the end, couldn’t be bothered slaughtering a duck, although goodness knows the first part would have at least warmed my hands up. No, instead the ducks are earmarked for eggs this coming Spring (oh! why must the warmth be so far away?) and babies that will be eaten next season. Another time I will regale you with tales from my property and our trying to be self sustainable lifestyle.

Sleep has been in short supply, between the children and my nervousness. The cold seems to sap all my remaining energy and I can barely feel to type. (insert tiny violins here) My nervousness stems from the fact that it appears I will be speaking as part of a panel to the MEAA next week some time, as organised by the Walkley Foundation. It should prove to be interesting and good fun, if I can get my nerves and I’m not good enough complex under control. I’m hoping to freeze myself out of it.

My time here, it grows shorter and I can almost hear my book and hot chocolate calling me. I just thought a note from the wild frozen tundra would help you wait for me, a little longer.

Goodbye dear readers! And I hope it’s warmer wherever you are.

***

I couldn’t help myself. It’s fucking freezing here tonight, already -2C and I needed the giggle. So yeah, the MEAA. It will be FINE. Promise it will be fine? Also that it will warm up. Please.

Marylin May 22, 2010 at 9:16 pm

Awww, I guess I shouldn’t tell you that it’s already about 18C here and due to go up to about 25C then huh? *runs*
Wish you could come over n spend your winter in my summer! *sigh*

badness jones May 22, 2010 at 10:42 pm

It’s so surreal reading about you shivering, when we’re happily watching things come into bloom, and looking forward to summer. And the reverse is true, too. There are some joys to be had in winter, snuggling up in blankets next to a fire, wrapping your hands around a warm mug of hot cocoa….but I’m pretty sure peeing outside negates every one of them. Hugs!

Angela May 22, 2010 at 11:26 pm

Pissoffedness!! Love it!

Yes it is fucking freezing. All heaters on and ugg boots. Homemade pumpkin soup for dinner. MMMMM.
Loving it!

Jean May 23, 2010 at 1:47 am

Ok, next time you find me whining about how all my fingers have gone dead white and how *ing cold it is when it’s oh, say, in the 40’s? You have my permission to whack me. I would already be dead if I was where you are. And the MEAA panel thing? You’re going to be awesome.

Kristin May 23, 2010 at 3:44 am

You know I’m actually jealous reading this. It’s starting to get hot here. Will be in the 80’s F today. Ugh. I have reverse seasonal affective disorder. Bugger summer. Give me winter any day.

Laura May 23, 2010 at 3:52 am

WOAH!! Toilet outside – that is some hectic stuff that!!!

Its getting colder here too but our cold is 16C and freezing for us is 10C 🙂

Tenille May 23, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Oh, an outdoor toilet in freezing temperatures can’t be fun. I’d consider bringing the chamber pot back into fashion if I had to deal with that. It will warm up (eventually). Good luck on the panel!

river May 23, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Below Zero?? Holy hot chocolate! It’s 13* here in Adelaide and I thought that was cold enough. I prefer the cold over being so hot I’m melting, but there’s a limit even for me and that limit is about 15*. So today I’m feeling cold as well. But -2? Arrgh!! That’s too much. That would have me wearing every soft and warm item of clothing I could lay my hands on. Is there no chance at all of getting an indoor toilet sooner rather than later? Like Tenille says, you may have to resurrect “Ye Olde Chamber Pot”, but keeping it out of the hands of the small male human might not be as much fun as dashing outside through the frost when necessary……..
You’ll be finr when it comes to the panel speaking. Just pretend you’re rehearsing a blog post.

sharon May 24, 2010 at 12:19 pm

A very wintry SSW front went through yesterday and, although not quite below zero, it was bloody cold, with extra rain and wind. Presumably this will reach you in a few days time ;-( Visitors so impressed they thought they were back in Blighty. As an added bonus Western Power decided to replace some power poles in town. Brilliant, nil electrical activity from 8.30am until just past 5pm. No fun at all!!!

You will shine on the panel – just be your usual self!

Barbara May 25, 2010 at 12:31 am

Lol, very well written! I see Marylin’s already broken the bad news about our weather so I’m keeping schtum.

Tanya May 25, 2010 at 6:37 pm

I know. The cold is coming. But I kinda like it.

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