I organised to meet up with a friend -A- who was visiting from up north. She met me after work and then Nathan drove us back to where I was living. We arranged to have drinks at Nat’s new place and I went home and grabbed a change of clothes. I talked to my boyfriend, while A listened.
Her comments after I finished talking to him? ‘He treats you like shit Ron’. It’s not that my boyfriend treated me like shit, he didn’t really, it’s that we were 16 and we’d been together for well over 2 years. Familarity and everything. He was a nice boy.
And so, we went and got drunk. All together, Nathan and I, his older brother, a housemate, and my two friends, A and K. After a few drinks, I stopped drinking and instead, watched everyone else get drunker. Eventually everyone passed out or went home except for Nathan, his housemate and me.
We didn’t do much of anything except talk.
Nathan snuggled me, he looked into my eyes and talked to me, he kissed my fingertips. He made me melt.
His housemate left in disgust.
The morning came and I was sober. I had had no sleep, I needed a shower and I started work at 2pm. I also realised I couldn’t keep going the way I was going and that it wasn’t fair to my boyfriend. I talked to A, I talked to Nat’s housemate, I talked to thin air. I begged Nat’s housemate to give Nat my number. She was reluctant, but said she would. She didn’t.
9am that morning found me back at my boyfriend’s house, sitting on his bed, telling him that I wasn’t ‘in’ love with him anymore and crying.
I regret how I told him. We had been together for 2 and a half years and I didn’t have the decency to let him wake up properly before dropping the bombshell. I regret that.
I showered and cried and got ready for work. Before I left, I packed a bag and my now ex and I talked, a lot. As I left for work, we parted with a hug and a kiss, on sort of good terms.
I walked to the bus stop, hung over and exhasted. That night at work was the longest shift I have ever worked.
I crashed the night at Ex’s grandmothers house. She was lovely enough to let me stay (my shifts all started at 6am that week and she lived close to work) for a night or two and to hand me tissues as I silently cried.
Then, I spoke to my mother about everything and I went home, on her orders. Back to my grandmother’s where I was living, except when I was staying at my boyfriends house.
It was the smartest thing I have ever done.
A few days later, Nathan and I met up for coffee before I started work and spent 3 hours talking about nothing. The next day, he picked me up from work and drove me home. He didn’t go home that night, or any night afterwards.
And that was that.
We moved into his house not long afterwards, and from there, back to my parents after a large falling out with his housemate.
We rented our first flat and suddenly, here we are, 5 years later.
It’s been a rollercoaster these last few years. We’ve now got a mortgage, two babies, two dogs, two horses and two cats. And for all that happened to get us to this point, for how ill I still feel when I think of some of it, for how unproud I am of some things, I wouldn’t change a moment. Because here we are, and I am happy.
I know I’ve got some really cringeworthy moments from my younger days when it comes to men. And don’t forget you were still pretty young when going through all of this. You’re happy now and that’s the main thing and your ex boyfriend has moved on too I’m sure.
I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve every happiness.
Everyone has things about their past that they’d do-over if they had the chance! So glad you’re happy sweety. 🙂 xx
Sounds like it was meant to be. You can’t choose when you fall in love and with whom. If you always did everything perfectly how would you ever learn anything? Remind me to tell you about my first marriage ending sometime.
xx
Awww! I’m glad you’re happy, V. You deserve every bit of it. As for Nathan, as I’ve said he is The Awesome!
I agree with these ladies… who hasn’t done stupid, cringe-worthy things when they were young? Thinking back on my 14th to 18th years with men and friends makes me cringe, too. You ended up with a great guy, and he got you = happy ending.
I am so glad you are happy. The hows and they whys of it tend to fall away after a while. We all do things we aren’t proud of, but it passes. You deserve your happy ending/beginning.
I few years ago, I told someone who was crying on my couch, “You can’t beat yourself up forever over things you did when you were seventeen and heartsick. No heartsick seventeen year old has *ever* done things ‘the right way,’ and if people didn’t find ways to move past that and keep living their lives, society would crumble.”
Interestingly, it was an additional year or two before I took my own advice.
You are where you are now because of what happened then. It couldn’t have happened any other way. Accept your past, be proud of your present, look forward to your future. (In other words, do as I say, not as I do.)
Great story, by the way 🙂
Cripes – you have got some very wise readers.
And we have daughters…. and we might have to sit back and watch them make the same mistakes we’ve made and keep our mouths shut and not try to save them from themselves, but support them when they need our help. THAT might be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do.
But not for another couple of years. I hope.
good grief Veronica, you were only 16 – that is when you are allowed to do things in a way that only a 16 year old can. I carried on making great BIG enormous mistakes for years after the age you are now. I mean my mistakes and there were very many were in so many ways are not even something I will blog about so you can guess how shitty a lot of them were.
If it helps I am sure the 16 year old you dumped so heartlessly probably wouldn’t remember as much as you do in the details five years later. Its that men are mars and women from venus thing (or is that the other way round – not sure).
The main thing is you are a very happy bunny now.
achelois,
von didn’t dump him heartlessly, he just took a little while to realise that what he had, done, and then what he had were not the same anymore. Women sometimes are smarter than men, SOMETIMES :).
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