First you need to decide a few days in advance that making bread doesn’t sound like a half bad idea. Flour is cheap (ish), labour is cheap (mostly) and the bread from the supermarket is starting to taste like crap.
[Is it the cheap ass bread I buy? Or my pregnant taste buds….]
Then you need to shop for ingredients. I may be a whizz in the kitchen, but my speciality lately seems to be roast meat and the occasional soup. Not so much of a baking whizz.
Yeast. Bread flour. Ummmmmm, baking powder maybe? Get home and realise that castor sugar would have been a better option, but whatever. Bygones.
Then you need to actually decide to bake bread on a day when you have most of all your time free.
You do not want to do this the day that your toddler hasn’t had any sleep and is only going to scream [because dammit Mummy, I want to sit in the container with the flour NOW].
You do not want to do this the day after you have a big bleed and have to go to bed early. [Damn pregnancy. Every day is UNLIKE the last!]
You do not want to do this on a day [or a few of them] when your morning sickness may have decided to come back.
But whatever. I said I felt like cooking bread, not that I wasn’t going to be stupid about it.
Somewhere between playing with the yeast and the warm water and actually getting a dough ball to knead, Amy lost her shit. She cried, she screamed, she tantrummed, she even tried to hit me.
I did try [oh lord did I try] to get her to help me knead, but she kept eating my dough. Hmmmph.
Naptime was called for, no matter that she hasn’t napped for nearly 2 months now. Nap time was successful and I thought maybe my head might not explode today.
[Although I still have floury footprints to clean off my kitchen floor. Don’t ask]
Once the bread has been kneaded, you need to stick it into a warm [but not hot] place to rise. Like near the fire, but behind the fire gate. So far? All the animals have tried at least once to eat my damn bread dough.
And then comes the waiting. Waiting waiting waiting. I almost regretted putting the toddler to sleep. At least if she was awake I could spend all my time trying to not let her poke holes in the cling wrap.
Once she woke up however? I regretted wishing that she was asleep. In fact, I would have paid good money for her to go back to sleep.
Eventually the dough was ready to pop into the oven (narrowly missing out on toddler finger holes poked into it).
And the smell? The smell made everything worth it. Even Amy discovering how to get into the flour bin didn’t seem so bad with the smell of fresh baked bread wafting over everything.
Just call me Martha fucking Stewart.
We are going to studiously ignore the mess left in the kitchen and eat warm bread. Mmmmmmm.
Comments
28 responses to “How To Make Bread With A Toddler”
hahaha you are brave 🙂
kaylees last blog post..It’s all about me.
I have a bread maker.
It rocks!
Bettinas last blog post..Hot Hunk Thursday
You are going to get searches now for Martha and Stewart Fucking….
frogpondsrocks last blog post..Wordless Wednesday… 30th July
hehe to ya mum’s comment..
mmm to yummy bread.. 🙂
its amazing how ya taste buds change when ya pregnant.. 🙂
thinking of ya..
Tazs last blog post..Weekly Winners – 5
I eat bread. I do NOT get involved in its preparation. Except that I WILL smell baking bread and love it. The smell of baking bread even conquers poopy nappies. Did you know that?
lceels last blog post..Earlier That Evening ….
You are so Martha. I love fresh bread. Mmmmmm…it would be worth the trip, but by the time I got there you will have eaten it all.
Your site looks awesome. I haven’t clicked through recently but I am IN LOVE with the look.
I love warm fresh bread!
Jenns last blog post..Who Is That In The Crib ?
You’re a braver girl than me Veronica. I use a breadmaker. I did used to let my sons at a similar age help me make dumplings as it was hard to muck those up although the mess could be spectacular. The younger one in particular frequently ended up looking like a mime artist.
Hope the assorted pregnancy blips settle down again without too much drama 🙂
Hugs
Cant you just buy a baking bread spray and go put your feet up. Take it easy no more bleeding please Martha Fucking Stewart.
Yum … nothing better than homemade bread …. it sounds like you had quite the adventure! Now go put your feet up so things can settle back down!!
I use a breadmaker.
Jenn FLs last blog post..Gentle Ben
Well done you! I’ve never made bread from scratch before. Sounds like you need a rest now! 😉
Marylins last blog post..Weekly Winners #28!
We will call you Martha when you make Christmas tree decorations out of your home-spun tampons.
I have a breadmaker, too. It’s awesome. 🙂
Anjas last blog post..Now I lay me down to sleep.
That sounds like great bread – I bet it smelled sooo good. There is nothing like homemade breade
Micheles last blog post..And…Three Men were on a Hike!
I’m certain it’s winter where you live because I wouldn’t dream of making bread in the summertime.
witchypoos last blog post..Drinker With a Running Problem
On another blog I found a link which took me to a recipe for N0-Knead-Bread. If I could remember where it was I’d tell you. apparently you make the dough and leave it for at least 12 hours or overnight. The few times I tried to make bread I couldn’t seem to find the best place for it to rise. Eventually tried the backseat of a closed car. The bread was lovely. Now I can’t knead because of neck and shoulder trouble, so I want a breadmaker. Also a large kitchen to put it in….
You’re right about the supermarket bread. It’s crappier than it used to be. I’m currently buying Tip-Top’s 25% wholemeal, it’s a goldy colour bread with a malty smell and tastes quite nice. (but it’s $3.29 a loaf)
I hate bread but you…I like you.
tiffs last blog post..This is how it’s going to be…
I read the title and thought about the blood of an Englishman, be he alive or be he dead I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.
Old Knudsens last blog post..Computer Administrator Sabotages System
Ooops, I made a boo-boo. The bread i’m currently buying and eating is TipTop Up 25% wholeGRAIN, not wholemeal.
I think homemade bread is seriously worth just about anything. Just be careful with the bleeding stuff!!
Did Amy just love it?
Debs last blog post..Much to tell
You didn’t take a picture with one of the two free hands you’ve had all day??? ;]
I am careful now about “bread” from the store. I am not a health nut, either, but since I learned that L-Cystene is made from boiled duck feathers or HUMAN HAIR, I haven’t really been hungry for pizza or bagels from the store much. Funny how that works.
Damn you. I’ve been half thinking about making bread too. Now you’ve made me think it might even be possible and you’ve made me feel bad for not getting round to it. Right, must go and find the yeast.
Barbaras last blog post..214/366 – Keeping Amused on the Train
The smell of freshly baked bread and the taste – slathered with lashings of butter – makes up for everything!
Jaynes last blog post..Trivial History August 2
mmmmmmmyum, I’ve never made bread.
LOL at frogponds. Weirdos who are putting thoughts of “Martha Stewart” together with “fucking” are going to find your blog. And be very disappointed in the lack of matronly porn. he he.
Kats last blog post..Ai La Loo
Veronica, you are a brave lady! I can barely make bread on my own, add a toddler to the mix and I don’t know what would happen.
So, what kind of bread did you make?
Talinas last blog post..31 days till we leave Arizona…
I’m on my second bread maker. I love fresh baked bread, just HATE the process. I’m not even sure I could actually do it from scratch anymore. My husband is actually the bread making person in this house. I print up recipes and he bakes them up…in the bread maker. Damn, fresh warm bread sounds good. Too bad it’s 100 degrees (38 C ???) outside and I’ll be darned if I’m baking anything today.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..Lack of Posts is NOT a Sign that I Have Nothing to Say
ok my dear I am old very old and I need to be able to see those letters to read your posts,,,, can ya make it any bigger??????? did you eat all the bread?
Just a moms last blog post..GUESS WHAT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Hot bread and butter. You may have inspired me to make bread with the kids this week.
Alices last blog post..Ta Da! (Free stuff!)
Having kids can be an nightmare but see them growing up is the most beautiful things there is. My husband is working a lot and my child is very little. Looking forward (yes, really do, haha) to the moments in the kitchen with my child. Cooking, making bread, like you end in the story. The mess is worth it and a smile of your kid is worth everything!