Place Toddler away from you. Lament the lack of childrens DVDs you have all the while getting ingredients together.
Remove Toddler from your ankles. Remove onion from Toddlers mouth. Wonder how the hell Toddler manages to munch on an onion like that.
Peel and slice onion. Ignore the chunks that toddler has nibbled out of your (last remaining) onion. Get sick of Toddler trying to bend your knees backwards and pick her up.
Race to the bathroom to rinse Toddlers eyes as she screams in pain. She can eat raw onion, but not look at it? Weird kid. Towel Toddler off and place her away from you.
Sauté off the onion and some bacon. Remove a cling-on from your leg. Give in and open the door so Toddler can harass sit on molest play with the kittens.
Remove Toddler from the puddles. Place back amongst the kittens. Resume sautéing the onion.
Race down the path as Toddler disappears from sight. Promise her a nice tasty RIPE apple if she will juse leave the unripe ones on the tree alone.
Swear lots and race back to your onions, Toddler on hip. Save them from burning just in time. Remind self to remove pan from stove before chasing Toddler.
Toss up the odds of the kittens crapping inside vs your Toddler not running away. Decide that it is worth it and bring the kittens inside.
Remove a smaller, spikier cling-on from your leg. Swear. Lots.
Add mince to pan and cook. Resist Toddlers attempts to climb your body. Drag yourself, the Toddler and a kitten (all attached to your legs) over to the cupboard. Swear when you realise Toddler has lost the tomato paste. Search for tomato paste in toy box. Recover tomato paste from bookshelf. WTF?
Add tomatoes, tomato paste and seasonings to pan. Add water and cook for 45 mins stirring occasionally. Avoid stepping on kittens. Throw them back outside and tickle the Toddler to avoid a tantrum.
Spend 45 mins entertaining Toddler.
Sit Toddler in her highchair and dish her up dinner. Realise that you completely forgot to cook pasta.
Give up.
Eat the mince without pasta, just add extra cheese.
Enjoy.
hehehehehehehe extra cheese is good… God I love being a Grandmother… hehehehehe I had forgotten what It was like to cook when there was a small person attached to my leg…*snort*
love you sweety hehehehehehehehehheheheheh *takesdeepbreath* heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh
frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Global Warming is to blame *phew*
Oh I forgot to say that face is the perfect advertisement for “WOE” Oh Woe! Woe! Woe!
cheers kim *snicker*
frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Global Warming is to blame *phew*
aww..
cute..
You’re a nice mommy. If I have to chop and stir and the boy won’t play nicely somewhere I put him in jail (the playpen) sometimes he settles down and plays nicely after a minute or two, sometimes he cries until I get him. Once everything is in the pot I can rescue him and cook one-handed, but I can’t bear dragging him around on my legs as I chop and fetch ingredients all around the kitchen!
The other day I put him in jail, and it was quiet for a minute, and then I heard ‘music’ I looked over and he was standing in the playpen, leaning on the side, ‘playing’ a harmonica….I hope that scene doesn’t foreshadow any part of his future, lol!
badness jones’s last blog post..Shopping and Starbucks
Ah, well, when you move to the house, you can fence the property and chuck the darling outside, and hope that no snakes are waiting for her.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Getting Lemons, Selling Lemonade
That is why I am quickly turning into the master of instant dinners. If it can’t be cooked in under ten minutes, then it just ain’t happening. Mr. Husband may miss his paella, fetuccini alfredo, grilled pizza, and baked ziti, but I miss being able to move my leg without having to drag a toddler with it.
Burgh Baby’s Mom’s last blog post..Silly Billy Burgh Answers All Questions
That sounds so familiar 🙂 and Connor isn’t even walking yet. Sometimes I wonder how I managed with Bradley, I seem to have forgotten.
Jenty’s last blog post..A snippet of the mood in this country
Oh man! That sounds like our house…If she ate it- Success!!! 😉
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..At Least I Can Have Candy…
OMG, I can smell it cooking from here. (*takes deep breath*) I think it needs a pinch of garlic.
Lou’s last blog post..Step by step, inch by inch ….
Hilarous! It’s amazing how something that previously took no time at all sucks all your time and energy!
I think this is what I am preparing tonight. I shall see how it goes!
Angela’s last blog post..Indecisive Me
Hahaha. You didn’t forget the pasta….you made a sound decision to swear off carbs for that meal. Right???
Tasina’s last blog post..Nice n’ Easy
LOL!
Hope you don’t mind, but I think I will avoid this recipe….(like hell..I am already half way there…he is one. Today at baby story time at the library he bit me on the nose, because I removed him from a precarious position on his stroller…
I find it totally amazing that my toddler can play all day, quietly, somewhere else. The minute I start cooking he’s there whining, clinging, emptying drawers… ARRGGGHHH!!!
Karen’s last blog post..School Days Aren’t Always Golden
hahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!
I totally got a visual with that one!!! So how do you do the rest of the housework?
5 years old is good. You either send them outside with the puppies (or bike) or put a dvd on in the bedroom and convince them that all their toys are dying to see the movie…and that the toys dont want to be left alone. This works for exactly 30 minutes. But it’s enough.
I’m guessing you will probably miss it when she becomes independent and you only see her at tea time!!! (after she has been to school, friends houses etc, playing outside)
I’ve never made that stuff. Even though I know it can’t possibly be the case, the name makes me think of spaghetti with bologna mixed in, which makes me want to hurl.
Marie’s last blog post..One Tough Cookie
ohhh so this is just like making mac n cheese, lasagna, chicken ect…this is why i don’t cook!
I gotta give you credit for cooking. I’ve gotten to the point where if preparation has more than three steps and takes more than ten minutes, I skip it. We’re down to eating cold cereal and fruit.
Leslie’s last blog post..It Has Been Said That Pregnancy Hormones Can Make You Desirious Of Sexual Activity. Well, So Can Love.
when alex was tiny tiny, I put him in the sling so I could prep dinner.
dumbass…. of course me cutting the onion bothered the eyeballs of an 8 day old baby…
Dawn’s last blog post..A Lent a Day – 1
See, now THIS is what playpens are for. You can get really large ones these days, they advertise them as “cat runs…”
Oh dear… but you tell a great story! 🙂
Rebecca’s last blog post..The “Lost” Boy
Those evenings are when I miss the bouncy seat the most.
sugarplumsmom’s last blog post..Haunted
LOL Cooking and toddlers not exactly the best combination. Mmm on the extra cheese though
Laura McIntyre’s last blog post..974
SO funny. I feel you. I live this life. Oy. Sometimes I talk to God. I tell him that ALL I WANT is to be able to WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE across ONE ROOM. With nobody attached to me. JUST ONE.
Kat’s last blog post..Weekly Winners
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