How To….Survive Bedtime

I wrote this last night.

1- Survive Mothers Day, even though Toddler has had no nap. Survive dinner time even though Toddler has had no nap and partner is being too slow dishing up dinner to satify me and the screaming toddler.

2- Get dinner eaten (I balaced the Toddler and my plate in my lap together. Clever much?) and cleaned up. Get NO NAP Toddler into her PJ’s and a clean nappy. Hugs and Kisses all round and then….

3- 6.45pm hits and it’s BEDTIME!

4- Listen to the Toddlers sigh of relief when you tuck her in. Kiss and then leave the room. Check back in in 5 mins and discover the Toddler fast asleep. Revel in the silence and get a few things done.

~~Take a 1.5 hour break from Toddler wrangling~~

5- Decide to lay in bed and blog/watch TV mere moments before the Toddler wakes up screaming. Realise that it isn’t really the sound of your spare time running away, instead it is your brains running out of your ears.

6- Cajol, hug, cuddle, snuggle massage, rub, kiss and snuggle the Toddler in an attempt to curb the screaming. Give up and administer Nurofen. Swap turns with your partner, until screaming stops.

7- 20 minutes later the screaming has subsided into small snuffles and the Toddler has stopped crying that it ‘hursss’.

8- Snuggle sleepy Toddler and leave the room.

9- Hear the Toddler playing. Hope that she is still in bed. Have all your hopes dashed when a little head pops up over the gate and says ‘Ah Hi Mumeeee’.

10- Sigh. Audibly.

11- Pick the Toddler up and rub her back. Realise as you are rubbing that your toddler feels very snuggly. Like, skin to skin snuggly. Discover NO NAPPY on Toddlers bum.

12- Find the still clean nappy and place it back on the toddler. Console yourself that nappy removal was a complete fluke.

13- Discover that nappy removal was no fluke. Repeat steps 8 through to 12 four times.

14- Remember reading something on the internet about backwards nappies. Replace the nappy back on the toddler BACKWARDS.

15- Celebrate the lack of nappy removal. Seriously, if it was your blog that I read about backwards nappies on, let me know and I will edit this post to give you complete credit. I salute you, whoever you are.

16- Snuggle toddler into bed, only to have her sit up and tell you ‘I hungeeee’.

17- Sigh. Audibly.

18- Wish that you were still breastfeeding for the eleventy hundredth time today.

19- Heat up some left over mashed potato from dinner. Feed to Toddler. Or, in our case, hold the bowl while Toddler feeds herself. And yes, she was still in bed.

20- Resettle Toddler with big hugs and kisses. Snuggle and leave the room. Listen to her sing herself to sleep before everything goes silent.

21- Blog about it.