I have made a decision.
I am not going to google for pregnancy symptoms anymore. I am refusing to type ‘bleeding during early pregnancy’ into my search bar. I do not want to look at ultrasounds of egg sacs implanted in women less pregnant that I am.
I am not going to make myself crazy anymore.
I am going to accept that my uterus is wonky and I am not going to be able to see anything until 7 or 8 weeks. I am going to accept the fact that I will have to wait a fortnight before even attempting to think about another ultrasound.
I am going to remember, that at 7 weeks pregnant with Amy, she only measured 5w5d and at 20 weeks she was lucky to measure 18w. I am going to accept the fact that all my babies are probably going to measure small, or as in the case of the ultrasound yesterday, not be able to be measured at all.
I need to think about the fact that my sonographer was younger, so probably NOT as experienced as he could have been. I need to think that everything is different this time, and as long as I am still feeling sick and tired, then everything should be on track.
I need to not be crazy anymore.
I need to think about the fact that he saw ‘good indicators of pregnancy, but it is too early yet for an egg sac’. I need to remember that he didn’t spend long looking because of the position of my uterus.
I need to think and I need to not think.
I need locking in an air bubble for a fortnight, where all I do is sleep.
I need to stop looking twice when I wipe after going to the toilet, just to check the state of the spotting today. I need to stop stressing about it, because stressing is not going to change the outcome. I need to stop cursing the dildo cam that made me spot.
I need to turn my damn brain off.
So…
I need stories from my wonderful readers about similar ultrasounds and the damn wand, stories of bleeding and healthy babies at the end, stories of how you coped until 12 weeks was up and then, from my childless readers I would love stories about anything you fancy. Just please, reassure me, or take my mind off it somehow.
Please?
Just take some deep breaths. It will all be ok. You are fine the baby is fine. And we will find a way to put a lock on that nasty google.
Suzies last blog post..Sesame Place
Google is your worst enemey right now, and you know that. It is TOTALLY NORMAL to spot after having a vaginal ultrasound, or even just a vaginal exam, or after sex, at this stage in your pregnancy. Your cervix is VERY sensitive to the slightest bump or nudge. You are pregnant, you are tired, overly anxious and emotional. All good indicators of pregnancy and none of these symptoms make the first trimester any easier.
You’re halfway there. You are going to make it. Just focus on Amy and getting as much rest as possible.
Jennis last blog post..Shaken
No stories bout that here honey – I’m as normal as can be down there, unless you count the insanely painful SPD, but I’m guessing you’ve had enough of me going on about that one!
Sending you ((((((HUUUUUUGE HUGS)))))) I hope the next two weeks pass quickly, you’ve always got me around to chat to in your evenings/my mornings! 😉
Marylins last blog post..Icky
Short conversation between FOAM (Fat Old American Guy) and YLTG (Young, Lovely Tasmanian Girl):
FOAM: “Hey baby!!! Ya wanna (makes a grotesque motion with hips)… you know?”
YLTG: “Piss off, fatboy, I’m preggers.”
FOAM: “Yeah, so? Is that supposed to make a difference?” is what he THOUGHT, but “Curses, foiled again!!” is what he said.
And he slunk away.
Now relax and take a nap.
I didn’t ever have a reason to fear for any of my pregnancies, but I did have to deal with the wand at one point. When I was about 8 weeks pregnant with Max I had my first OB appointment. The OB measured me and looked at me funny and then asked one of the nurses if the ultrasound machine was immediately available. It wasn’t. He told me that I was measuring like someone who was having twins, and it was important that we find out right away. So I had to come back the next day for an ultrasound. It was a very scary 24 hours, imagining what it would be like to have twins. I knew I’d go crazy. Went in for my ultrasound and the external thing didn’t show anything, so he had to use the wand. Fun stuff. But only one baby, whew! Turns out I was just skinny.
Well, the tete-a-tete that has been going on at lunchtime across the street seems to have stopped. Now I think the Husband lives there and the Wife is gone and not-the-Husband doesn’t come around here no more..
(Wait, isn’t that a song?)
Rees last blog post..In Which I Solicit Your Opinion
i bled 8 times during the first 3-7 weeks of pregnancy. i had two ultrasounds at 4 and 6 weeks, and both were the horrible “dildo-cam” and yes, i bled after them. Now i’ve got a baby girl doing perfectly beautifully at 20 weeks. Bleeding at the beginning is very normal. i didn’t bleed with my first but i did this time, because all pregnancies are different. Your baby will be fine. Your baby will be FINE, ok?
Hugs from MN.
jessica @pianomomsicles last blog post..Birthday weekend
hi there,
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, and was so excited to hear that you are pregnant! Now that I’ve read this latest post, I wanted to offer some advice for this tough waiting time.
I think you need something to distract yourself! It is totally normal to be over-thinking this. But since it sounds like you are having a hard time focusing on other things, I think you should try to get out of the house (away from a computer with google!) and go do something for yourself! Hire a babysitter and take your H out on the town. Go shopping. Take your daughter to the playground. Anything that will buy you a couple of hours of thinking about something else. And go ahead and take it hour-by-hour or even minute-by-minute of distracting yourself. But at the same time, think of all the wonderful things you can do with that time you’re in need of filling!
good luck! i’ll look forward to reading more updates from you as they come out.
rachel 🙂
rachels last blog post..This time next week…
You’ve no reason to be anything other than optimistic.
Feet up, good book, and prepare for shitty nappies all over again.
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..The good news
It’s not quite the same but when I was very early pregnant and still seeing the infertility doctor, they kept making me come back for blood work because my hcg level was not exactly doubling every 48 hours and they were “concerned.” I went four times and each time the number went up significantly but they were still telling me they were “concerned.” I found an online calculator for it and discovered that I was doubling about every 55 hours. And normal is to double every 48 to 72 hours. So I refused to go anymore. And of course all was fine and dandy.
I’m sending positive thoughts your way. It will all be fine.
donnas last blog post..Hate is a Strong Word
I never had bleeding while I was pregnant (which is amazing, since I bled for 2-3 MONTHS after each birth, and then for 12-15 days per month after that).
BUT when I was 19 weeks pregnant with Mack, due to extreme emotional stress in my life, I started having cramps in my right side. My mom was staying with me and insisted I call my OB. I went in for an ultrasound and they told me I was having preterm contractions and it was too early in the pregnancy for them to intervene to stop the contractions and possible birth. It was so upsetting. My life was already so stressful. The amazing midwife who talked to me said “I don’t know what it is that’s causing you so much stress in your life, but it has to stop today.” That day I had to go home and tell my Brother and mom that I could no longer have custody of my nephew (he was given to me during a nasty divorce). I had to destroy my brother’s life, to save my unborn baby’s. It SUCKED. And it’s still not mended completely. But I’ve got Mack and that’s really all that matters.
You’ll get through this. The other commenters are correct: distract yourself. Adding stress to what you’ve already got will not help at all.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..My Kind of Camping!!
Hey, being crazy is a GOOD SIGN! If you can manage to add TOTAL BITCH to CRAZY then you are definitely very very very very very very very seriously and severely pregnant. And crying. This is also the only time when crying a lot will be considered good and normal.
At least… in my book. I was a totally crazy weeping pregnant bitch.
Seriously though, it sounds like its going so much like it did with Amy… I’d bet you have nothing to worry about. You just WANT this baby so much and for so long… but really… I’m taking bets. Anyone?
Kats last blog post..65% Increase in MPG
I agree, Google is evil!
As for the bleeding, that happened when I was pg with my eldest son. I bled quite heavily actually around 9 weeks, and then I got given progesterone and I was put on bed rest for 3 weeks, and the bleeding stopped. It was caused by placenta praevia, and that cleared up by itself by 24 weeks!
Jentys last blog post..Ok, now what?
think “HAPPY THUGHTS” hang in there and try and be calm,,,,
Just a moms last blog post..DAY 143,,,, TIME IS RUNNING OUT……
I had a miscarriage after two years of trying for our second child.
I was pregnant again straight away and was as sick AS – compared to the miscarriage where I didn’t feel pregnant at all.
I had spotting for a day or so at about 12 weeks and freaked out big time.
The ‘morning’ sickness turned into all day sickness, can’t even look at dirty dishes sickness….
Small Man was the happy result though, and born on his due day!
Hang in there Veronica – definitely no sex though for a while….sorry Lou!! He he!
G
xx
mysts last blog post..FIREWORKS!
hey..
none here for me either..
Tazs last blog post..31 Weeks Old
I had spotting and a whole damn period with two of mine. Just take things day by day. All sorts of whacko things happen when we are preggers and it is completely out of our control. I know the control freak inside doesn’t like that and wants to stamp and stomp and google and DO SOMETHING, but they can’t. Distract yourself as best you can and try not to kill anyone in the meantime.
Oh and STAY AWAY FROM GOOGLE! It’s the devil, the devil I tells ya!
Bettinas last blog post..Screw Up Tuesday
The dildo wand made me spot too… That damn dildo wand!
Hey guess what… N’s big interview is TOMORROW! Woot! Just trying to give you something else to think about for a min. *hugs*
Talinas last blog post..More anticipation….
JUST RELAX and stay away from google as a 16 year old I will not be sharing any pregnantcy stories and thank god I do not have any to tell anyway 🙂
kaylees last blog post..Thoughts
Hi, I just recently stumbled upon your blog. I had an u/s done with DD#2 at what would have been 6 weeks as i was having some spotting. They ended up only measing the sac at 5 weeks. so they made me come back the next week and the baby was happily measuring 6 weeks then with a nice beating heart.
all the best! try your best to think happy thoughts. 🙂 i know it’s hard. but congratulations!
I had exactly the same thing happen with my second pregnancy. I found out just on 4 and a bit weeks. Was all excited. Then came some bleeding. Sent for the obligatory internal u/sound. Saw a peanut shape on the screen, but no heartbeat yet (too early.
Bleeding stopped (was only a day or so, if that). Went for another u/sound 2 weeks later and there was the peanut with a heartbeat. A few months later, I had a nearly 11 pond baby, who is now 14 and still gets called ‘peanut’ occasionally. But only by me 😉
Try to stay calm, take it as easy as you can, and stay away from Google. It is NOT your friend at times like this.
Too much knowledge can be a BAAAD thing! Stay away from Google and find something else to occupy your time. Play with Amy, watch movies, read a book, look up some new soup recipes, knit or sew if you do these things but try to focus on something, anything, else.
Sending positive thoughts your way.
I too am addicted to looking up every single symptom on Google. This go around, I’ve calmed down a bit. I am on my third pregnancy via IUI. The first two ended in miscarriage at 5 and 8 weeks.
Right now I am 10 weeks and have had about 5 random days of spotting. Nonetheless, I have had three sonograms in which my doctor was extremely happy with – so I have decided to ignore all spotting and just remain positive. Each week, I become more and more lax and more and more confident.
Okay, story to share: A friend’s sister had previous miscarriages too. One weekend they had gone down to Mexico. Well, in the middle of the night that night, she hemmoraged a lot, making the bed look like a crime scene. They rushed her to the doctor and she ended up with a healthy baby girl who is now 12 years old. This has been a source of my hope.
Stay positive and rest up! Wishing you all the best!
ok you asked for it… I’ll try for the short version…
I have had more internal scans than I care to remember. (I’ve been pregant four times, have had two missed miscarriages, two live births and three children) I also bled off and on until about 25 weeks with my last pregnancy. I had several early scans to try and figure out what I was bleeding and to check everything was ok (I’d had a missed miscarriage that ended in a DnC a very short time before conceiving again).
Early on they thought they could see a blood clot on the wall of my uterus, outside the amniotic sack which was probably where the bleeding was coming from. I was told it would either stop bleeding and be reabsorbed, it would continue to bleed but not be a problem or it would bleed so much that it would dislodge the pregnancy and I would loose the baby – I just had to wait and see. Fun? NOT!
After each internal scan I bled again and more, but I was told that is pretty normal and I also bled after an early internal scan with the twins – apparently it is quite usual for old blood to be dislodged from the cervix with all the bumping about – though I was sceptical at best.
Obviously though it all worked out in the end as Muski the monster turned out just fine, despite freaking us out early on. The hardest part though is just getting through each day, I remember just immersing myself in my children and the house and thinking that if I could just be the perfect parent and house wife that the universe would agree that I deserved another child… how stupid is that? But you do whatever you need to do to get through…
Hugs
katefs last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Warm in the wood pile.
Jayne bled nearly all the way through the darcy pregnancy, it was a constant worry, i am sure things will be alright, jayne even had a night in hospital and a big blood loss, and darcy survived . i totally understand your worrys and concerns, just count those days off,
all the best gareth…
I had some spotting in the second month with my first baby, I rang my doctor and he said don’t come to the surgery, go straight to the hospital, I’ll call and let them know you’re coming. So they checked the spotting, labelled my chart “threatened miscarriage – bed rest” Remember this was back in the dinosaur ages when any bleeding was considered serious. Next day the bleeding had stopped and I was told I could go home since the baby had decided to stick around. Then between month 4 and 5 I suddenly put on too much weight so was x-rayed for twins. Same weight gain with each successive pregnancy, but no twins,I just had really huge fluid surrounding the babies. Now to take your mind off things, how is the kitchen renovation going?? Tell, tell, I LOVE me some reno stories….(and gosh that Lou makes me laugh)
My best friend from college spotted and spotted and SPOTTED with her second baby. And all was well.
Does that help? I hope so.
Hang in there.
For both of my two daughters I has three miscarriages prior to hitting the jackpot. The only times I felt nausea were during the successful pregnancies. So in my book, your ohmygodIthinkIamgoingtoretchrightaboutnow experience is to be regarded as good news.
I always preferred the dildo cam because I hate having to wait with a bursting bladder for a sonographer who’s running late! Mind you, the dildo cam never caused me any problems, so I have no bad associations with it.
Good Luck
Hope everything is ok Veronica , bleeding can be such a common thing and im sure everything is ok.
I bled this time around after not so much as a drop with my previous pregnancies.
And when i say bled i mean bled as in changing pads and passing clots and unable to move with pain. I spent a few days grieving for my baby with even the doctor agreeing it could not be good news.
As im not almost 25 weeks into this pregnancy everything was actually fine and we have no idea the reason for the bleeding (although a few people have suggested twins and i miscarried one) – ok thats not what you want to here but from everything i have read that its only when the bleeding getting heavy and accompanied by cramps that you should start to worry.
Laura McIntyres last blog post..The Blahs
I am a dildo cam survivor…or should I say my kids are.
I bled with all of my pregnancies.
Ivy and Noah’s was the worst.
I bled for a week, bright red blood but they held on.
Take heart, alot of pregnancies start off with spotting.
tiffs last blog post..Where I talk about febrile convulsions…again.
I’ve been a black hole. I didn’t realize you were pregnant. I have heard gazillions of stories about late bloomers on ultrasounds. I think it is very common. I had a friend, poor dear, that bled on and off her entire pregnancy and was put on pelvic rest and the baby was fine. Have faith and hang in there a bit longer. I wish you the best.
janethesanes last blog post..My Lack of Education Never Hurt Me None
What is a polite way to ask my husband to dress in a Starfleet uniform and prosthetic pointy ears in the bedroom?
I just don’t know how to bring this up without upsetting him. Your input is appreciated.
(I’d also like to incorporate the “vulcan salute” somehow; Any ideas?)
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